Wednesday, August 18, 2021

Dealing With Anxiety Without Hard Drugs

Gulf Coast Fritillary


 I think my mind had to take over today and I have been relatively panic-free, unlike yesterday and last night. I was quite literally making myself sick with gut pain and this morning I began to feel that way again and somehow I managed to mostly get past that although every time I think about the appointment I wince and then float over it but it's sort of like floating over a giant whale shark- you know it's there, underneath you but you just have to keep on swimming. 

Or something like that. 
But I did not just huddle in the bed. I got up, I picked okra and zinnias, I did laundry, I took the trash and went to the post office,  I started back in with the cleaning and decluttering. This time in the Glen Den. I speak often of the Glen Den and it is probably the room that sees the most use in this house. It is filled with Mr. Moon's...well... things. His chair is in there and the TV so yes, it is a den and I would almost call it a man cave except that it's got enough toys in it to satisfy a small class of preschoolers too. It's got deer heads and a few fish replicas and pictures that he likes and fishing lures and fishing awards and fishing magazines and hot rod magazines and Daisy BB guns and old Avon men's perfume containers (his mama sold Avon) and deer antlers and his mother's antique lamp and a rattlesnake skin and pocket knives and an Auburn pillow that his mother needlepointed and fancy whiskey decanters and lots of glasses that he collected from bars in Europe and a whole lot of other things. Including (and this I do not understand and I should ask him about it) an entire shelf of antique irons and a small ironing board. 
No. He does not iron. I am certain that I knew at one point where these came from but have completely forgotten. 





So. There is a lot to clean there although it is not within my rights to get rid of anything. I did, however, go through the few things of mine in there and the toys, and either tossed or put aside to give away two bags of that stuff. I do hand needlework and knitting and crocheting in there because, as I said the other day, there's a good light and an end table right beside the couch where I can sit and watch TV and do those things. So I organized my embroidery thread and yarns. So that all looks like this now. 



And it feels good to have accomplished that organization. 

I asked Mr. Moon if he would take a quick glance at all of his things on the mantle and the shelves on  either side of the fireplace and see if there was anything he would mind letting go of. He did look. He said, "I see those three bags there that I never use." 
Haha.
"You never use ANY of these things," I said. 
He agreed this was true but said that he likes to look at them. I proffered that he might want to be the one to clean them and organize them. I admitted that I only do that maybe once a year but still...
He said he would.

And I took everything off the shelves and dusted or wiped them down with Fabuloso and white vinegar (the magical elixir) and put them all back and then I swept as well as I could, even pulling the couch out from against the wall. I found a thimble I'd been missing for a very long time. 

I was going to mop but decided not to. Do I LOOK like Martha Stewart? Hell no. She looks great. 

And so that was my day. I am glad that I filled two more bags of things to take out of this house even though once again, that doesn't begin to dent what needs to be done. 

I will get through the next eighteen hours. All will be well and regular programming will resume. 

That's the plan. 

Love...Ms. Moon



22 comments:

  1. His man cave sounds like an interesting place. You did a good job connecting with him about him taking over the cleaning.
    Keep up the good work with making good use of your anxiety time. It's such a win-win feeling.

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    1. He was so very sweet about my suggestion and later thanked me for cleaning his space.
      I can't wait to be able to use my energy just because I want to. Truly.

      Delete
  2. will keep you in my thoughts tomorrow. I trust all will go well but I know even THAT doesn't help anxiety. Breathe.....and take your Ativan, if you need to (or whatever you have). After tomorrow you can breathe a hugh sigh of relief having it be over and done with
    Susan M

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    1. Thank you, Susan. It's funny- I've had a prescription for Ativan for two years and have not used it all up yet but in the last week I have taken a few.
      I can't wait for this to be over.

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  3. I just read a book you might want to also read - Chatter - by Ethan Kross. It certainly gave me a few tools to deal with life.

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  4. The doctor visit will be easy peasy and the doctor will say ," I do not know why you came here, get out and don't come back!" And you will say," Yes, give me my money back"...and all will be well. I just cancelled two appointments because NOPE!! Not going to go in unless I am carried in on a stretcher.

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    Replies
    1. That is basically what happened. Haha!
      Except I didn't ask for my money back.

      Delete
  5. I once had a house with a sump pump in the basement. Once the hole needed cleaned out, and in the accumulated sand I found three thimbles! Ever after, when I missed a thimble, I'd wait a couple more days, in case the cat did not take them all the way at once, then go down and sink my arm in the hole and feel around until I found the thimble(s). One she took often was my grandmother's shiny silver thimble.
    Buena fortuna manana.

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    Replies
    1. That's so funny! I guess your cat had good good taste in thimbles!

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  6. I was on my hands and knees this morning pulling toys, mostly lego, out from under the couch and chasing down dust bunnies, except they're mostly dog and cat hair. Even the poor cat coughed up a huge furball today.

    I got the dogs walked and the laundry done. Jack comes back tomorrow night for one last night and then we won't seem him forever, well two weeks but it will feel like forever.

    When we dropped him off at his mom's after daycare, he walked into the kitchen and kept saying mess, mess, mess. Gracie didn't know what he was saying and I wasn't going to tell her. Then he said, come, mess and I left. He's two. OMG she has no idea what's coming down the road.

    Have a tolerable day tomorrow. Sending more hugs and love cause you need it right now.

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    Replies
    1. Was Jack saying that his mother's house is a mess? Or was it just a general observation about her? Haha!
      Yes. I found some random Legos and I can't remember even having a set here.
      Today was tolerable indeed.

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  7. You're handling everything as well as you can. Can't do more than that. The glen den sounds like a lovely room to explore in.

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    1. I call it The Museum of Glen. When I'm not calling it the Glen Den.

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  8. Sending hugs and good luck wishes. I answered your previous post comment to me there. I hope Jessie won't have too much trouble with her booster.

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  9. If I had a "Glen Den" it would have a big "KEEP OUT" sign on the door. Cleaning is an overrated activity in my humble opinion. Regarding your visit to the doctor, my fingers are crossed for you.

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    Replies
    1. Well, the children do love to watch TV in there, you know. And like I said, a lot of their toys in there so...
      I spend way more time in the kitchen than I do in there.
      I do not like to clean at all. But occasionally one does find lost items and it surely does feel good when it's done.

      Delete
  10. Way to stay busy! Dave responds in much the same way whenever I ask him if he wants to keep a certain something. There's usually a reason why he does. I must say, though, the Glen Den looks like a pretty interesting little room. I'm guessing the irons might be from Glen's family?

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  11. I rarely sweep through the house dusting and cleaning everything in my path but it feels so good when it's done.

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Tell me, sweeties. Tell me what you think.