Friday, February 14, 2014

Your Own Personalized Valentine's Day Greeting From The Whiniest Bitch In The World

I woke up too early this morning, really, and couldn't get back to sleep and so I got up and it's a beautiful cold morning here. Stunningly so.

Mr. Moon had left me a sweet note by the coffee pot for Valentine's Day and I know that both of us are feeling a great deal of stress because we do not do Valentine's Day well. Hell, I just don't do holidays well. Birthdays, Easter, Christmas, New Years. None of them are looked upon with any sort of joy for me and Christmas, as we all know, is enough to send me into a deep spiral of mental illness and Easter usually calls forth my most virulent anti-Christian rantings wherein I rage about how the story of the crucifixion and resurrection of God's so-called "only begotten son" rips off with bloody intent the true and obvious miracle of spring.

Ooh boy.

Valentine's? I don't even know what I have against this particular holiday although it probably has something to do with cultural expectations versus reality.
Or perhaps it goes back to grade-school and that goddam decorated box we were all supposed to put our pathetic little punched-out cards in and how the cute little girl got about one thousand Valentine's although there were only twenty kids in the class and the fat, ugly girl with glasses got maybe four.
I was that one who got four.

Anyway, la-di-dah. This is Mr. Moon's and my thirtieth Valentine's Day together and we've survived all of them so far and I suppose we'll survive this one as well.
Survival. God. It just seems like that's all I talk about these days. I'm really tired of this shit. I'd really like to move on to another level. A higher level. One in which anticipation or enjoyment or even, dare I say it? celebration might play a part. I know, I dream the impossible dream.

Because the fact of the matter is, I have as much or more than most people living or dead have ever had to be grateful for. To enjoy, to celebrate, and quite possibly, more to anticipate. Not that the dead can anticipate but you know what I mean. And hell- maybe?

Well, today offers an opportunity to ask for a fucking pill to help me with that little issue.

We shall see how that goes.

In the meantime, here's my heart. My tattered old heart, probably threatened by plaque-build-up as we speak, still though, beating with regularity and as far as I know, efficiency. I offer it to all of you who come here to read, and just as with my husband- I have no idea why you stick around but thank all of my lucky stars you do. And for your words. All of them. ALL OF THEM.

Happy Valentine's Day from me in Lloyd where it's cold but the azaleas are blooming and the sky is brightening and the birds are singing and I remain truly yours, whiniest bitch in the world but as sincere as pie when I tell you I love you.

Happy Friday, y'all.

Love...Ms. Moon


  1. Well,I am another person who grew up and out of the understanding of these celebrations we seem to be forced to participate in...I will admit sometimes one or the other will grab me and I will have a fun time with it, but I am still practicing the whole not feeling guilty if I don't wanna thing! Sometimes when it's a kid's birthday, sheesh, I feel bad, but I bake cakes and make a card...One thing that helps is that the hubs has always been sarcastic about the 'commercial' holidays and practices 'just cause I wanted to' celebrations on his own whim! One of the reasons I've kept him 20 years, now! So, mushy squishy love-greetings from up here where we may never ever see green grass and flowers again...(said every year at this time..) We'll keep on truckin'...right?! xox Carroll aka bigmamabird

  2. oh man (or is that oh woman), I can't believe your azaleas are blooming already.

    You know how we survive holidays? we ignore them.

  3. It's so lovely to see your azaleas when we have so much snow here. Thinking of you and hoping your visit goes well.

    (Oh, and for all the times I hate the captcha thing, this time it has "Love" in red NORMAL letters! Along with a teddy bear. So weird!)

  4. I'm totally with you on the holiday thing, Mary. Expectations of the holidays just crank up my anxiety issues, but as far as Valentine's Day, a holiday that celebrates chocolate, sex, and flowers is perfectly fine by me. And, the aforementioned are perfectly fine when they are gifted to one's self. Joey

  5. I'm happy to realize this is my 30th Valentines Day with my husband too, and we don't celebrate it either, except that one time he brought me home half off chocolates :)

    I never hear you as whiny. Honest, truthful, observant, real, but not whiny. I tell my husband all the time that I'm commenting, not complaining, unless I am complaining which I can be very good at :)

    Happy Valentines Day to you and I hope you get a lovely hour to listen to Bill and Charlie talk. It made my week. Month. Year.

  6. Yes, I was the girl that got four. I even had trouble giving them because I was too uncoordinated to punch the cards out along the lines. Yes, it was a soul-crushing holiday.

  7. I am thinking of you and hoping all goes well at your appt. what a day for a call back visit... I am sending love your way. Sweet Jo

  8. I was the fat girl, too, Mary. There was a boy in my class I was SO in love with. I picked out my best valentine for him. He gave all the other girls in the class a valentine but me. I'm 60 now and I still think about that every year on this day. Stupid, stupid holiday! Laura

  9. I only read the title and when I saw it was personalized just for me, well thank you Mary. I haven't even read the post. It means the world to me that you consistently share, day after day.

  10. Those azaleas make me homesick!

    I love you, too, Mary Moon.

    Elizabeth O.

  11. Happy valentines day Mary! I was the fat girl too.

  12. Well, I would have given you a card or several. I remember filling out those cards and gave every kid in class one.
    Nice that spring is coming there.

  13. Carol- Well, I do like a little mushiness. I have to admit that. And I got some too for which I am grateful. We are lucky to have the husbands we need, aren't we?

    Ellen Abbott- Blooming like crazy. It's so gorgeous. Ignoring holidays is a damn fine plan.

    Sylvia- The verification words were great yesterday, weren't they?

    Joey- You made me smile big. Thanks.

    Mel- I haven't listened to the whole thing yet but I sure am going to. Just the part I did listen to yesterday gave me another reason to ask for an anti-depressant. So, in a way, it's already changed my life.

    Birdie- At least I didn't vomit up the cupcakes the way my best friend's sister did, right in the middle of the second-grade class room. I wonder if she still remembers that with horror?

    Sweet Jo- And I am sending love your way, too. Thanks as always, always.

    Laura- Funny how we will remember these horrible things forever as long as we live. Childhood can be just a horrendous time of our lives, can't it?

    Bluesmtn- Just for you. I promise. Hello!

    Elizabeth O- I am so grateful to live where there are azaleas. Thanks for the love. I mean it.

    Angella- We never recover from that, do we? Love you, woman.

    Syd- You've always been a gentleman and a good, good soul. I know it. I feel like you did just give me a Valentine. Thank you.

  14. More oatmeal.
    Thanks for the azaleas.
    I love you too.


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