Saturday, February 27, 2010

Paper Bag Saturday


Some people do Friday Fragments and I guess there's even some sort of guidelines or something for that and I enjoy reading those fragments but you know me- I can't be walking down the road someone else has already shined a light on. Nah. I have to get out my tiny blue flashlight and head through the woods, tripping on fallen logs and getting caught up in the thorn vines.
So I don't do Friday Fragments but every now and then I do a post which is just a bunch of little found items and I throw them in a paper bag and fold over the top and give it to you and that's the deal here today.
Even the picture really doesn't have anything to do with anything except it's about everything if you look at it the right way. I had no daddy growing up and dammit, if there's one thing I've done right it was to find a man to be the daddy of my children. Jessie spent the night last night after serving tables at the Opera House and there she is with her daddy. They both complained about how they would look- Jessie in what she slept in, Mr. Moon in his work clothes.
But they let me take their picture. They know how cute they look.

So. Can we just briefly discuss the fact that a killer whale killed a trainer at Sea World? I feel terrible for the person who was killed and the family of that person and also all the people who had to witness such an event but dammit! What in the name of God do we humans think we are doing when we take a creature like a killer whale and try to make a trained toy out of it in a tank in an amusement park? I have been to Sea World once and maybe twice, back in the old, old days when the kids were little and it made me vastly unhappy to be there. I was struck with the feeling that we had captured aliens who were as sentient and as intelligent as us and removed them from their planet for our amusement. They can prattle on all they want about education but the bottom line is- whales and dolphins do not belong in tanks and although they are really good at learning tricks, we have no right using them for that purpose and when we do, tragedy often results. Sometimes the tragedy is the death of an animal and sometimes the tragedy is the death of a human animal but it just ain't right.
Not in my book.
We should be in their world which is the deep blue ocean, humbly asking the creatures there for their permission for us to observe them and learn from THEM. Maybe they could teach us a trick or two. Throw us a fish if we do it right. Clap their fins and laugh giant bubbles of laughter at our poor attempts to function in their world by their rules.
So that's what I think about THAT. I'm sure you wanted to know.

On to animals in this house. Pearl, my fourteen-year old boxer dog is losing her shit. Not in the sense that she is incontinent but in the sense that she's demented. All of the dogs demand to be let in and let out hundreds of times a day. I am not exaggerating, either. But suddenly, Pearl's entire day is spent standing on one side of the door and then the other, scratching to be let in or let out. She walks through the door which I have opened, wanders around on whichever side of it she's on, looks completely baffled, and then goes back to the door and scratches on it in order to be let back to the side of it she was just on. This goes on all day. Sometimes when I open the door, she just stands there, not even looking at me. I think she's forgotten where she is. I love this old dog but I have to be honest with you- if she dropped dead right this second it would save her a lot of inevitable pain and save me at least a tiny portion of sanity which I may still have. Since I started this paragraph, we have gone through the routine twice. TWICE! One paragraph!
Correction: Three times. And Buster has wanted in once. That's five times I've gotten up in the last three minutes.

I complain to Mr. Moon and he says, "What do you want me to do? Take her out and hit her over the head?" I contemplate the idea and then say, "You wouldn't do it if I asked you to."
And he agrees.
Dammit.

So speaking of Mr. Moon, the car biz has been tough the last few weeks. Real tough. He's been gently depressed. The other night though, he perked up and said, "Well. Really. I have the best life on earth. I have you as a beautiful wife and I'm not wanted by the F.B.I."
Seriously. That was a direct quote. I wrote it down.

Pearl wants in again. Zeke just came out.

Our last performance is tonight and get this- we have reservations for ONE HUNDRED dinners and a waiting list for more. This is an Opera House record. We had a great time last night and cranked our performances up another notch, but the audience...well...let's just say that for the average-aged woman in that crowd, menopause is but a distant memory. Kathleen swore they were laughing but the laughter barely made it up to our ears. Oh, I could hear Jessie giggling. Thank God. And we got some laughs but basically- yikes! We refused to blame ourselves and rightly so, I think. We gave it our all and we cracked ourselves up and we are looking forward to tonight. And dreading it because it IS our last night. Sigh. And sigh again. It's just so much FUN! Last night, after the performance, we were all downstairs eating leftover manicotti and squash and cake and drinking our post-performance beverages and there I was at a table with my daughter and my husband and my next-door neighbor and all the actors and Kathleen, and we were all silly and happy and Colin kept saying, "How did I get so lucky? HOW?!" We all felt that way. And we are going to be depressed as hell for the next few weeks. I can tell you that.

Pearl just came back out. Oh. Now she wants back in. Zeke went in too.

Well, it's a gray day. The finches and cardinals are fluttering and eating and chirping and oh my! There's a redheaded woodpecker at the feeder too! That's rare. And Mr. Moon is working on the garden fence and Jessie is studying her maternal nursing with Buster on her lap. She was fawned over and admired last night so sweetly. They love Jessie at the Opera House. She was told she looked like Uma Therman, only prettier. I know she hates that. She hates the egg sandwich I made her this morning too. And she really hates washing the bowls the dogs have licked clean. She told me.
I haven't given the chickens their scratch or told them how pretty they are today yet. I need to do that. We only got two eggs yesterday but in the two days before that we got fourteen so I suppose they needed a rest. My lovely hens. My handsome rooster.

And I suppose that's that. Pearl just came back out. Are you keeping count?

Oh- one more thing- Lily and Owen are going to be baptized in the Lutheran church Jason's mother and grandmother belong to tomorrow. (Pearl just went back in.) I am having a bit of a hard time with this because I consider baptism something that should be done by parents either in the bathtub or in the rain or the ocean or a river or a puddle in the yard. Whatever. Water represents life and so it is right and good that a baby should be exposed to it. I give Owen sips of water from my glass when he is here. I have bathed him AND taken him out into the rain. Bringing God or god into the whole situation baffles me. Why? It's not like Lily and Jason are going to be going to church. And Lily is doing this in order to keep peace in the family and I commend her for that and I'll be there because she's my daughter and Owen is my grandson and if they want me there, then I'm there. (Buster just came out. Then he went back in.)
It'll be fine. It's not like Lily has become a Republican. That I truly could not handle. A bit of sprinkled water isn't going to hurt anyone at all and besides- I'll get to see Owen and that is worth a trip to church on a Sunday morning. And then we'll all go out to lunch and as I recall from my childhood church-going days, the post church lunch is what it's all about anyway.

I better get to those chickens now.

Thanks for visiting.

Please recycle the paper bag when you're through with it.

And Pearl wants out again.

25 comments:

  1. Yeah, I think your dog has doggie Alzheimers and can't remember whether it needs to go out or has just been out.

    Yeah, a little holy water won't hurt.

    What was the other thing I meant to say? Crap! I may have doggie Alzheimers too...Oh, the whale thing. I probably saw that very trainer who died the last time I was in Seaworld in 2002. I'll never go there again. So sad. The trainer's death and what they're doing to such intelligent animals in the name of science and entertainment.

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  2. Just wait, Lily. It burns... it burns!!! :D

    Hmm, Ms Moon. Dog door?

    I haven't done anything about my stones around the neck yet either.

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  3. what a lovely, darling photo!

    right on about seaworld ~ in the 30 years i've lived in florida i've shed enough tears for the dolphins and whales to probably fill up one of those stupid pools. free willy!

    how in the world do you keep your trains of thought and write so brilliantly whilst playing on a teeter-totter ~ and speaking of brilliant, how about today's garrison???

    enjoy the heck out of tonight ~ what sweet memories you will have to cherish!

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  4. my darling ms. moon,
    your paper bag sure looks natural from this hotel room. so glad i sauntered over for my morning cup of joe with you!!!because what this hotel is lacking in down home charm i have just had a cup full right here!!

    so much to say...but a key board without the mouse has me tongue
    tied.

    savor your day...then savor YOUR night!!

    xoxoxox,
    rebecca

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  5. Ms. Moon, I love, love, love the paper bag post. First, the photo is the picture of happiness. Perfect. Second, the quote from Mr. Moon must just fill your heart up. Third, you are so lucky to have the play and your friends and if you all get depressed when this is over, thankfully you'll have each other to lean on, and hopefully you'll fuss to us so we can cheer you up and onward.
    Finally, about the dog, I had to laugh out loud, as my 2 year old makes me crazy like this all day, only he wants me to come outside and play with him. Thankfully the squirrels are back so he has a reason to live. He'll never catch a thing, though, he's not the brightest puppy in the pile. My sister owns an ancient, arthritic mastiff that can ruin a door frame with one scratch, and she wants in and out all day too, and I fear for the both of them! My husband was at wits end with my previous senile sickly cat, and I asked him to take care of her in any humane fashion, afraid he would and grateful he couldn't.
    Have fun opening and closing the door all day!

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  6. I love the contents of this paper bag and will keep mine rather than recycle it.

    Sea World: my exact thoughts and I felt guilty thinking them but now I don't.

    Your dog: what Mr.Moon said cracked me up

    Your play: Have a wonderful last night and I'll say it again that I wish I was going to be there.

    More Mr. Moon: I'm feeling blue and stressed this morning about financial stuff. What I'm going to do for the rest of the day is think that I'm very lucky because I have a beautiful family AND I'm not wanted by the FBI.

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  7. Here's what I love about baptisms.

    I love when a group of people get together and swear that they will do all that they can to guide this child along, to teach him or her about love and patience and challenges and hope.

    I love that pledge to extend family beyond the borders of blood.

    I love the promise found in water and family of choice.

    Whether this is done in a church or not is really up to the people, but the event is holy regardless.

    It's the promise, not the location for me, anyway.

    In fact, I wish I could get my girlfriends together and make that kind of promise without them thinking I was a lunatic.

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  8. I love this post Ms. Moon. In fact I love all your posts. I wouldn't worry about the baptism thing. It's mostly in keeping with a family tradition. I have been baptized too, and I'm certainly no Republican. But I do agree that it would make more sense to be baptized in a river or the ocean, or even in some rainwater gathered in a little wooden tub. Which would look so adorable in photos.

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  9. I love what you said about the whales and dolphins. I've always hated zoos and the circus. As a child I could never enjoy the zoo because I just wanted to bawl for those poor animals. I know there is some good to it (not much), but I still can't stand it -- I feel like they are all imploring me to free them.

    I wish you could post a video of the play -- I'd watch it for sure.

    "It's not like Lily has become a Republican" cracked me up.

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  10. I said the exact same thing about the whale. Direct quote from me to my friend this morning -- "You know how this should be prevented from happening again? Put the whale back in the fucking ocean where it belongs."

    So yeah...same page.

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  11. I absolutely can't stand it when someone tells me I look like Uma Therman. It makes me sick to get that kind of attention. Yuck. And that egg-sandwich you made for me was so good, I hated it. But I've changed my mind about washing the dog licked bowls- it's quite enjoyable to try to scrub away the slim.

    I just need to take this moment to reinstate what Colin had said to me last night, which I thought was so very true. He said my greatest assets were my parents. I couldn't agree more.

    See you at Church tomorrow!

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  12. Hum, honeyluna. I don't think it's right to suggest you don't have great assets of your own. They're good resources, maybe.

    Oo, great, wv: rouge

    painted ladies for church tomorrow!

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  13. I would stand at the door for Pearl any and everyday.
    What a beautiful paper bag.

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  14. Our Rosie - same thing. I love it that she has decided Daughter is her caretaker and is the one she bugs to let her out.

    Killer Whales used to follow our 45' boat (in northern coastal Canada) - they must have figured we were a floating snack bowl.

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  15. I love that picture of Honeyluna and Mr. Moon. Love, love, love.

    Poor Pearl. Doggie or Daddy, that kind of old aged mind loss makes me feel like I'm suffocating.

    I really like Nancy C's spin on baptism. Makes it easier for me to swallow

    Have a wonderful, wonderful time tonight

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  16. Re: That Killer Whale thing..... did you hear the one about the chimpanzee that had to go to rehab?

    http://wtf-n-stuff.blogspot.com/2010/02/they-tried-to-make-him-go-to-rehab.html

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  17. I love you mommy. Thank you so much for agreeing to come today, it will be a comforting to know my family is there. See you in a couple hours.

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  18. We might have a mass baptism later in the year. Jack wants to do his first communion with his friends. I have trouble with this, but the funny thing is he doesn't, while he tells me he doesn't believe it all anyway, he just wants to be with his friends when they go to the classes at school. And I get that. My mother wants to do it in her garden, and preferably in the pond. I told her fine for the garden if that's what she wants, but she's not dipping my babies in the pond. They can take a tub and put it on a table. I'm very conflicted about all this, but I suppose that's what you get if you send your kid to Catholic school.

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  19. Lucy- Yep. She has dementia of some sort. Amen on the whale thing.

    Jo- Well, Owen didn't cry. I'll write about it later. Believe me. I will. And I do have a dog door off the porch but I can't cut a dog door in a one hundred and fifty year old door. I just can't.

    Lulumarie- I love you! Come see me!

    Rebecca- I savored BOTH!

    Mel- Pearl can tear through wood with her toenails, too. I finally just put another damn jacket on and left the door open!

    Elizabeth- I reminded Mr. Moon of that quote today. He agreed it meant his life is good. Poor thing. He's under the weather in several ways but he shoulders on, as do you.

    Nancy C- I agree with you except- for me, NOT IN A CHURCH! Now call your girlfriends and have a group Baptism. I recommend a hot tub and tequila for the sacred beverage.

    Angie M- I know! The damn preacher was in the way for pictures when Owen got blessed this morning. Or saved. Or whatever it was he got.

    Jill- There IS a video. But it's like two hours long. Hmmmm...
    And yes to the zoos and the captive dolphins and whales. I mean, NO to them. I agree with what you said. But somehow, the whales and dolpins seem way, way too intelligent for us to be doing this to them. And the great apes, too. NO! It's not right.

    Pretty Things- I do too.

    SJ- Seriously. Free all the fucking Willies. And Flippers.

    HoneyLuna- Can I say that you were my favorite part of church this morning?

    Blogland Crush- And that is what I told Colin!

    Sam- Okay. We can make out a deal. You stand and hold the door open for Pearl all day and I'll give you all the eggs you can eat. Okay?

    Froggy- Yes! If the aquatic mammals want to see us, let them come and do it when we're in the universe. They ARE curious about us, as we are about them, but they don't capture us and make us perform. I don't think.

    Michelle- I adore you.

    Omgrrl- Saw it on your blog!

    Lily- You and Owen were beautiful. And you are both so blessed, with or without church. He to have you and you to have hime and we are all blessed to have you both!

    Mwa- I would agree, dear.

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  20. Your Mr's quotes are like my Mr's. And....sometimes, I feel like Pearl. I find myself whirling in some alcove, slack-jawed and wondering how and why I'm there.

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  21. Yay! I sure did enjoy making you smile; it's really one of my favorite jobs to do.

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  22. The shit about Pearl made me laugh. Poor you, BUT I DIG PEARL!

    The photo of Jessie and Mr. Moon is one of the sweetest things I have ever seen. Both dolls.

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  23. The hugging photo was dear as could be...and that is what having a loving family does...gives hugs...

    And that Killer Whale story...well you couldn't have put it better..they DON'T belong in a tank...and I haven't been to a Sea World Show in at least 20 years simply because it hurt too much to see them being kept that way...all of them! I feel for the trainer's family...

    Old doggies....just need to go with their needs or it is on the floor...give a biscuit give a loving pat or hug...

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  24. Ms. Trouble- Damn. Me too.

    HoneyLuna- And you do it so well.

    Ms. Bastard- Whenever I write about Pearl, I am writing for you.

    Ellen- I get up, I sit down. I get up, I sit down. I do her bidding.

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Tell me, sweeties. Tell me what you think.