Saturday, May 15, 2021

Trying To Do Right By My Grandbabies



I think that our Gibson had a very good time with us. At least he sure did smile a lot. And I know we had a good time with him, too. I cracked up when he arrived holding a plastic Publix bag, not even half full and declared that he had everything he needed in it. Everything he needed was a few extra clothes and some toys that I can't remember the name of but they were colorful and rather evil-looking. He and I chatted in the kitchen for awhile and I got the fishbowl full of the cocktail mermaids and animals I'd bought for him online because he used to love to play with them so. 
"Do you remember these?" I asked him. I used to spread a towel on the kitchen floor and put a bowl of water on it for a swimming pool and he would play with those little critters happily.


He remembered and for fun, he sorted them all into colors. 


While he was doing that, we talked about different things and I am rather amazed at how smart he is. His vocabulary is vast, his thoughts are deep, he has a very fine ability to grasp concepts. 
He's just a fine boy, that one. 

I made a good dinner of spaghetti and meatballs, a salad with tiny mandarin oranges and sunflower seeds, and sourdough bread right out of the oven. We ate while watching "Shaun the Sheep" and even the salad disappeared entirely from his bowl. 
"You put oranges in the salad!" he said. "Why?"
"Because they are delicious," I told him. He agreed. 

He took his shower and then I made him and his grandfather purple cows. Sherbet, ginger ale, and grape juice. They proclaimed them delicious. 
"This is my first time having a purple cow without my siblings!" he said. 
I think he sort of liked that. 
Then he got cuddled up in the bed in the guest room with lots of covers and pillows and I read him the three books he'd picked out. "Corduroy, Lost and Found," "Professor Wormbog in Search for the Zipperum-a-zoo," and...."The Little Red Hen Makes a Pizza." 
And guess what? I enjoyed reading them ALL! 
As soon as I was finished with the last book he said, "Now I'm going to sleep," and he rolled over and that was that. I swear- he was asleep in less than a minute.

Last night we had discussed what he wanted for breakfast. This was what he wanted:
Pancakes.
Eggs.
Grits.
Toast.
Bacon.

I do not mind spoiling the grandchildren but that menu was a bit much, I think. So I "only" made eggs and pancakes and bacon. He didn't complain. 


We ate on the porch and watched the birds. It was nice. 
He and Boppy played some Wii and then he and I played Battle. 


He does not cheat. 
I cannot say that about all of my grandchildren but Gibson is an honest boy. 

Another thing he and I did was to sit on the porch swing and talk. It's been another perfect day, cool and cloudless, the sky as blue as a blue jay's tail feathers. 
"What should we talk about?" he asked me. I thought a minute. 
"Would you like to hear a story about me when I was a child?"
He said he would and I told him about living in Roseland and Chester, and you can read about Chester HERE if you want. I told him about the day my friends and I rode our bicycles to the end of the road and found the rusty iron gates in the stucco wall that we opened up and walked through to find what seemed to us to be something as amazing as the ancient ruins of Egypt. And you can read about that, too, if you go HERE. 
A lot of you already know these stories well. Perhaps all too well, but I told them to Gibson today for the first time and I showed him pictures of the lion swimming pool we children found that day and he kept saying, "I want to go there!" 
I'm not sure why but there is a great compulsion within me to tell my grandchildren these stories. I suppose it has something to do with wanting them to have the most precious pieces of me even when I am gone. Perhaps it is the sure knowing that although I would love to live many more good years, I know at this age that nothing is guaranteed and some of my memories are so very beautiful to me, as clear and real as cut diamonds, I grieve at the thought of them being lost forever. 
I am sure we all do this. Or will. 
Whatever compels me to tell these stories, it is a genuine need. And dear Gibson just happened to be on the receiving end of that need today. 
Bless him. 
It wasn't so long after that that he started missing his mama and his brother and sister and so he packed his bag and I got the leftover spaghetti and meatballs out of the refrigerator for him to take home. 
"I made them for you," I said. 
I think he liked that too. 

I drove him home and Owen hugged him and Maggie said she was glad to see him and his mother was too. 
"It's your turn next, Owen!" I said. 
"I know," he said. "I'm excited."
I wasn't convinced but then again, he is practicing his teenaged coolness. 

The relationships that grandparents have with their grandchildren is so completely different from the ones we have with our children that it's hard to believe, much less explain. But I know it's important. My memories of Roseland are so entwined with memories of my grandparents who lived there, who took us in when we needed help, who did their duty by us when my mother needed them so desperately. Who provided a place and a situation in which I could experience magic and wonder in the jungly Florida woods, on docks over the river, in the Atlantic ocean, at the end of the white sand road through the rusty iron gates. 
My grandparents were not physically affectionate. That was not how they were raised. But I knew they would do whatever it took to keep me and my brother safe whether from hurricanes or rattlesnakes, hunger or homelessness. 
And I would wish that I could offer at least a small amount of all of this for my own grandchildren, each of them so different and each of them so loved. 
And I suppose that in the end, that's the thing that matters most. 
Well, that or pancakes. 

Love...Ms. Moon







27 comments:

  1. You are magic to your grandchildren.

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    1. I think that all grandparents, in a way, are magic to our grandchildren. Whey they are younger, especially, they know we are "old" but their imaginations can place us back with the dinosaurs or in the time of dragons or pirates or...
      Don't you think?

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  2. I have often thought that the difference between grandparents and parents is this one thing: Parenting is hard. The day to day coping and schedules and disciplining and setting consequences (and sticking to them), being responsible for everything...I remember feeling as if this was going to be forever when my kids were young. I loved them fiercely, but... And now I am a grandma. I don't even know how this came to be, but here I am, a 64 year old grandma. And I don't take on minute of time with my granchildren for granted, because I know this is not forever. My own children grew up in the blink of an eye, and I know that my grandchildren will as well. Their parents haven't realized that yet.

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    1. Yes! To all of that! We grandparents are not responsible for the BIG things- their education or discipline, their health, the roof over their heads. We can love them in a more freely manner, can't we? And it's just more fun. I find myself thinking, "Oh, what does it matter?" if the kids want something that I probably shouldn't give them, whether a cookie or an old ring of mine that they want. Because we know how quickly they grow, the battles do not seem as important.

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  3. Ahhh such a lovely time, thank you, I just relaxed into this post and felt comforted, Your house is SO Mary lovely, the porch is a dream. Isn't Gibson the handsomest child these days! WOW , what a super star.

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    1. Thank you, Linda Sue. And I told Gibson that he definitely has the best hair in the family. He laughed.

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  4. what a perfect day with Gibson! Stories shared are something that will live on for generations.....he may not know that now, but he will remember. I sigh with joy for all of you
    Susan M

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  5. Bless him is right. Sweet boy. I am sure Owen really is excited for his turn. My best years of closeness with my grandma were middle school/junior high. 35 years later I still treasure those visits.

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    1. I think Owen is looking forward to coming over and being the "only". He did get that time fishing with his Boppy recently. I do look forward to the relationships that I have with these kids as they get older if I am lucky enough to still be here. I hope they still want to come visit!

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  6. So happy for you all that these sleepovers can happen again. Gibson and Owen are reaching an age where their relationship with you is changing. For my own kids these were the years when their bond with their grandmother (my mom) really deepened. It's beautiful to watch.

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    1. You are exactly right- my relationship with both of them is changing but it's like the ones we have with our kids. They constantly change and evolve. Some stages are easier. I am wondering how these middle-school years will be with them. I hope our bonds deepen too.

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  7. Thank you Ms Moon. Reading while having my first coffee of the day and what beautiful, positive words to read to start the day.

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  8. Your stories will live on in the minds of your grandchildren - AND through this blog. That's the great joy of blogging to my mind!

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    1. I do wonder if the blog will still be around when I am gone so that the kids can read it and see what we did together and how much I loved them. I hope so. I really hope so.

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  9. Gibson sounds like a guy with his own mind! Glad you all enjoyed the sleepover!

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  10. Your grandchildren are so lucky to have you as their grandma. I never knew my grandparents but I wish I had. Grandparents are a soft place to fall. I read your two links. You are a wonderful writer Mary.

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    1. And your little Jack is fortunate beyond words to have you and your Big Guy in his life. You represent all that is good and sturdy and safe to him, I am sure.

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  11. Beautiful writing. Beautiful too that Gibson could have special time with his grandparents. I hope he will always remember this weekend. Maybe he will.

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    1. Maybe. Maybe he will. Or maybe he won't but he'll have vague memories, I think, of his visits with us.

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  12. I loved having all the grandkids at one time but I really like having them one at a time for a week every summer. Gibson, being the middle child, can be easily overlooked. I can relate, being the middle child myself. grandparenting is so different from parenting. all we have to do is love and indulge them!

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    1. You're right- that's what we do. We love and indulge them. And, in a lot of ways, we teach them but mostly with deeds and with stories and actions and our love.

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  13. I wonder if you COULD take Gibson (and the others) to Roseland? That would be a trip they would always remember. It's great you got to spend some time with him alone, telling stories and just spending time. I remember doing that with my own grandparents and yes, I still remember some of their stories from when they were growing up.

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    1. I would love to do that, Steve. And maybe one day I will. I have been trying to remember stories from my grandparents but I think they were few and far between. Is that possible? My grandmother was profoundly deaf so it was hard for her to communicate so I'm sure that was a factor. As for Granddaddy, I don't think he really thought of kids as being someone to talk to. Like- what would we have had to offer him in the way of conversation? But he read to us and played checkers with us and that was sweet.

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  14. The whole grandparent relationship is a mystery to me. All mine gone before I was born. Likewise all my son's gone before he could know them. And I will have no grandchildren. So I read these stories like a window into another world, and thank you for writing them. It helps with the pain of never having the chance to experience it.

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Tell me, sweeties. Tell me what you think.