Wednesday, May 19, 2021

Troubles, Tacos And Treasures And So Forth


 I woke up this morning totally unfit for human company. I kissed my husband who almost always gets up before me, and he asked how I was doing. 
"Suck," I said. It was all I could get out without bursting into tears. 
And I have no idea why. Just terrible anxiety trying to swallow me like a snake in the hen house trying to swallow an egg, slowly, cruelly, and with slick determination. It was one of those mornings where I laid in bed for a long time wondering why on earth I should get up. What was the point? Then again, what was the point of laying in bed? 

Jessie texted to see if I wanted to go to Lake Hall or to the Wacissa. 
"I don't know," I texted back. "You decide what you want to do and just let me know."
She finally decided just to take the boys to the library and for a bike ride around the little pond/lake nearby but asked if I would like to meet them for lunch. 
Oh god. Sure, sure. Why not? 
I decided to get my shopping done while I was in town and I went to Costco first. I was quite happily surprised to see so many people still wearing masks although they are not required now if you have been vaccinated. Of course- the problem with that seems to me to be that the very people who never wanted to wear masks in the first place are the same people who are refusing to get immunized because they don't want Bill Gates living up their ass or in their bloodstream or something and I would not put it past many of these people to just go maskless with the hope that no one challenges them on proof of vaccination. 
Call me cynical. 
But, I'd say that over ninety percent of the shoppers in Costco were wearing masks and somehow, that was heartening. Leon County, where the Costco is, has quite a high rate of vaccinated people so I feel certain that many of those wearing masks were immunized but were choosing to still protect themselves and others with that extra added bit of safety. As was I. Although in a way, I wonder if there's really a need. If I trusted the CDC when they told me that I needed a mask, shouldn't I trust them now when they say I don't? 
It's...complicated, isn't it? 
The restaurant where I was to meet Jessie and the boys was right next to Costco and she had a few things to return there so after I finished my shopping she met me and I stayed with the boys in their car while she ran in. We read a book while we waited. 



Quite appropriate as August is now truly and fully signed up for kindergarten in the fall at the same school his mama and aunts and uncle all went to. It's just a few blocks from their house. 
He is so ready. 
I think Jessie is too.

We went to the Wharf for our lunch which is a good seafood joint. It's where I've gotten a few take-out lunches on my shopping days but today we WENT INSIDE. We wore masks until we were at our table after ordering at the counter. It didn't even feel weird. It felt familiar and fine. The boys like me right now for whatever reason and they wanted me to sit between them which I gladly did. They got fried fish and also tiny corn dogs. With french fries. They were in heaven. Jess and I got grouper tacos. They were pretty darn good. And how luxurious to sit at a table in a sparsely filled restaurant and feel safe and eat a meal that someone else had shopped for, prepared, and served to us. And then! To get up and walk out leaving our baskets and bowls on the table! Crazy! 

We said good-bye and I headed off to Publix where I got to see Lily who was just getting off work. 
"Gibson broke his wrist!" she said. 
"WHAT?!"
He'd fallen off a ladder on the playground and landed on his wrist and they iced it but it continued to hurt so they called Lily who was still working. Jason was off though, so he went and got the boy and took him to the Ortho-ER where they x-rayed it and found a very small fracture. Poor Gibson! He and Owen and Jason are going to some amusement park this weekend and how sad that the little guy is going to have to have a cast. There's a water-park thing at the hotel they're staying at and Jason has already ordered a water-proof cast cover. All will be well. It's his right wrist though and that's going to slow him down some. Hopefully he will heal quickly as children do. 

After Publix I decided to stop by the  Bad Girls Get Saved By Jesus thrift store where I found something that truly delighted me and I grabbed it up immediately. 



A vintage bread dough bowl with a hand painted magnolia on it. From Mexico. They were asking way more than one would think at the Bad Girls Get Saved By Jesus thrift store but I wanted it and I bought it. Whether I will keep it or gift it away, I do not know but it needed to come home with me. I also got three more plates like the ones I got last time I was there although I had to pay a dollar apiece because they weren't on half-price sale today but that was fine. AND I bought two nice throw pillows (which were on half-price sale) which have already been washed and are hanging on the clothes line. 
So between seeing two of my children and two of my grandchildren and finding a treasure, I am feeling much less anxious and morose. 

Darla is still sitting on her eggs which at this point have grown shiny from her continual fluffing and rolling them underneath her as she has kept them at the evenly warm temperatures necessary for them to mature and hatch. It won't be long now and I'm glad of that for her. I haven't seen her off the nest in days. 
Being a mother is hard whether the babies come from eggs or wombs. You can quote me on that. 

Off to make cornbread and heat up the leftover soup. 

Love...Ms. Moon


40 comments:

  1. The mask thing is complicated in its enforcement I guess, but I suspect more so in its psychology. If the science says you are safe (or as safe as you'll ever be) then I'd not worry - but I know others that will, largely because they have been scared witless by the so called public 'information' messaging here in the UK.
    The vast majority of us have - to quote one of your past presidents - 'nothing to fear but fear itself' Mark

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    1. True about the fear itself but then I hear things like Lilycedar's comment below. She is a nurse and has observed things that are troubling. I don't know. Maybe I have just gotten used to not showing my face in public!

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    2. Just wanted to reply because I haven't seen people scared witless in the UK. I'm a retail auditor so my working week takes me to multiple shops. I see people doing their bit to contain this virus. I don't see fear. The opposite in fact, people want to smile and acknowledge me in our collective effort.

      I like not showing my face in public. The eyes become everything. I've exchanged more cheeky winks in the past year then my whole previous 46 years.

      I don't want to keep mask wearing going indefinitely but it wasn't all bad and not remotely scary and something to be fearful of.

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    3. To add, sorry, we still have a mask mandate for indoors. Even if that changes I will keep wearing a mask in public until my 17 year old college student gets a vaccine. It's about stopping variants and infecting the 5 to 25% (depending which vaccine you had) of people the vaccine doesn't protect from serious illness.

      And very soon we won't regard it as any more risk than the influenza virus.

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  2. I can see why you would want that dough bowl ... it is quite lovely! And, glad that your day gladdened up!

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  3. Masks.....ugh. I think we just have to use our own brains to determine *safety*......and keep ourselves protected.....vaccinated or not.....regardless. That bowl is lovely, don't you dare give it away! Glad your day improved after it got going!
    Susan M

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    1. and I must add, respect and consideration of others also figures hugely into mask wearing. when I re-read my initial comment I felt it could be construed as *I'm only looking out to protect myself*.....which I am NOT LOL!
      Susan M

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    2. I know you're not, Susan. And you're right- some things we have to figure out for ourselves.

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  4. My feelings have been as fragile as yours. I'm thinking having held it together for over a year and now stumbling to open up all that "holding" is getting released. I feel like things are too much to bear lately. My personal decision on masking - and we each need to make that for ourselves - is that this is as good as it gets so I am unmasked. I'm vaxed so I'm going with it. Otherwise would you continue to wear a mask for the rest of your life? So many things to weigh.

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    1. I hear you. And part of me is ready to kick the mask to the curb too. To be honest, I think I am as concerned with appearing to be caring as I am to be safe. I think I'm safe without it. Oh, who knows? There's so much that's going on in all of our heads now. Everyone is probably just this side of crazy.

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    2. I think you are right - crazy time.

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  5. That wooden bowl is fabulous!
    I don't understand the mask thing, and decided it can't be that important, there being so much resistance to masks to begin with. So we who want will, and if I have opportunity I do ask the maskless whose grandmother they are out to get.

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    1. Great way to get your point across, Joanne! I love it!
      Isn't the bowl great?

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  6. best kind of therapy! Masks are part of my anatomy now, will continue to wear them I think- I haven[t had a cold or flue or much hay fever since wearing mask. No brainer.

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    1. flu, I have not had, flue, I have definitely not had- my eyesight , you understand...

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    2. I knew what you meant. Of course. And yeah- I heard Dr. Fauci say that we didn't even have a flu season this year. Which is a pretty positive statement about the effectiveness of masks.

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  7. I went to our nearest larger town yesterday.. St. Albans. It is only 5 miles away but I hadn't been to the shops there for over a year. It felt almost normal. The weekly outdoor market was in full swing...all the shops open. Just the mask wearing inside was different.

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    1. Did it feel wonderful? I hope so.

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    2. Yes it did feel good, though I didn't manage to buy a new rain jacket as I had hoped, but did find a few " bits" for my granddaughter's birthday next month!

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  8. I think a lot of us are seeing the end of our tether. I know I'm having oh what's the point moments too. It's been going on so long.

    I'm masking for the foreseeable future, because so many fewer hay fever symptoms make it worthwhile.

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    Replies
    1. And that's another great reason to wear a mask! Hay fever is horrible.

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  9. The bowl is beautiful and it looks like it has been well loved. Glad you got to spend time with your grandkids and eat out. It's been so long.

    I had a patient yesterday who had been vaccinated and she got covid. It was a mild case but you can still get it. We have another lady who is a carrier now. She had covid and is still shedding the virus, five months later. She's waiting for a stem cell transplant but she has to be free of the virus.

    Sending hugs.

    ReplyDelete
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    1. The bowl does look as if it's been used, doesn't it? It actually has carved in handles on the undersides of each end.
      Those two patients of yours- well, that's a bit disturbing. Obviously we just don't have all the facts yet.

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  10. I wish our closest Costco was as close as yours. but it's about a 40 minute drive through highway construction. and that's if you don't encounter a wreck or workers stopping traffic for however long it takes. meeting up with kids and grandkids is always a mood lifter. the twins called me last night to show off their new vintage clothing purchases. OMG, high waisted jeans with wide legs! I remember those.

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    1. I can get to our Costco driving on only two "back" roads. Easy peasy. Takes about twenty minutes.
      That's so funny about the twins and their new old jeans! Are they actually wearing them?

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    2. well, that's the plan though they need to be hemmed. actually, Jade was wearing some when they came over last Saturday, just had the pant legs rolled up.

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  11. That's a beautiful bowl! What a find!

    I may be naive on this mask thing, but I don't think there's much threat to us from unvaccinated people as long as WE'RE vaccinated. If there's any risk, it's to them, from each other! Having said that, I might still wear a mask in a shop, just so people don't think I'm a jerk.

    So sorry about Gibson's wrist! It's awesome that Jason moved so quickly to get him a waterproof covering.

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    1. Yes- I don't want anyone thinking I'm a jerk!
      I think that Lily actually ended up finding Gibson a cover for his cast in town. Whatever. The G-Man can go in the pools!

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  12. I think I have done this for ages now, staying in bed for a long time wondering why on earth I should get up. I find it very comforting actually that on most days I cannot come up with a suitable answer. At least I am in my bed which is one of the best places.
    I hope you feel better tomorrow and I hope Gibson is not in too much pain.

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    1. Yes. Bed is one of the best places if not THE best place. And why does it feel so incredibly cozy in the morning?
      I suppose as long as we keep getting up we're okay.
      Gibson doesn't seem to be in much pain. I think it was a tiny fracture.

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  13. I broke my right wrist in 8th grade and still have a picture that my Mom saved in my "Ellen elementary school" file because I drew it with my left hand. It must have amazed her because it came out pretty good! The funny part is that I still have it and one day my kids will wonder WTF when they are weeding through my possessions!
    Hope Gibson heals quickly! Glad your spirits rose today!

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    1. Hmmm...
      Maybe you should have continued drawing with your left hand! I can remember when I broke my left wrist when I was seventeen, I managed to still ride my bike to school and eat an apple on the way. I have no idea why I remember this but I do. I guess I was quite impressed with myself.

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  14. Poor Gibson! Hope he heals quickly. Glad your day got better. That magnolia bowl is a treasure! Can’t believe August is going to be in kindergarten! Time surely flies.
    Xoxo
    Barbara

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    1. Seriously- August AND Maggie will be in Kindergarten. No way, right?

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    2. I have a grandson starting Kindergarten too!

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  15. I love that bowl! Thumb wrestle for it? We’re in the U.P. where our small town is ‘famous’ for their wooden ware, Munising bowls. Your bowl is very similar.
    I’ve been on the verge of a headache all day. We finally made the trip to see our sons and grandchildren! I won’t let a headache get in my way! It’s so nice to be able to read a decent newspaper and visit a real bookstore, too!
    I’m glad your day turned out okay for you.
    Debbie

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  16. Gibson! Poor baby. Glad your day got progressively better though.

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Tell me, sweeties. Tell me what you think.