Monday, July 1, 2019

Life In The Slow Lane

I should be in the best mood ever if suffering and accomplishing mundane tasks really are what make me happy which I am pretty sure they do. 
I took a walk. Not a very long one but I've learned my lesson about that in this heat and oh god, it is so hot. It's still hot- over 90 degrees and it's almost seven o'clock in the evening. But after the walk I met Lily and Gibson and Maggie at the river and it was so beautiful there today. Also, exciting because someone had spied a small gator out by the lily pads and then later on, a snake was seen over by the dock and there was a guy there who truly did not look like the usual Jefferson County, Wacissa visitor in his dress or his demeanor and when the snake was seen and reported he asked, "Is this normal?"
"Hmmm..." we said.
"Sort of."
We all know that there are always alligators in the rivers and lakes and sometimes even swimming pools around here but if we can't see them we can ignore them and generally, that works out just fine. As to the snakes- well, I'd never seen a snake there but I know without a doubt that there are plenty.

Oh Lord I'm hot. I haven't been cool all day except for the moments I dove into the river and then maybe for a little while after. The AC can't keep up with the heat and although it is vastly cooler in the house than it is outside, it's not exactly ideal.
Third world, boutique, bullshit problem.
And I know it.

I didn't stay at the river very long. I knew I had a lot of things to do here and so I came home and the first thing I did was to call Century Link. At first I thought maybe I'd gotten the rudest technician in the entire world. I gave her my explanation of the problem and then she asked me for my account number.
"I don't have it," I said.
"Why not?" she asked.
What the fucking fuck? Really? Why not? 
Because I'm a normal person who doesn't keep her phone bill records around, that's why.
Finally she grudgingly accepted that I was legitimate because I gave her the phone number, which I was speaking on, and Mr. Moon's name as the account holder.
She then deigned to do some of that voodoo shit where they can tell the speed of your own personal modem from wherever they are in the universe and after that she was a much more polite person because YES GODDAMMIT I WAS RIGHT AND IT IS SLOW, SLOW, SLOW!
So. I was not a lying impostor trying to get someone to pay attention to my mythical phone line with its mythical problem for whatever bizarre nefarious reason someone might do that.
She tried to do some more voodoo and fix the problem from where she was (how is this possible?) and she couldn't do that so someone's coming tomorrow to hopefully fix the problem in real life and in real time and in reality or at least what passes for reality by popular agreement. Possibly only popular agreement between me and me but that's getting a little too philosophical or quantum physics-ish for anyone.
We ended on a cordial note although she did not follow the script and did not apologize fifteen times for my inconvenience and she also did not ask me at the end of the call if there was anything else she could help me with today which always makes me want to say, "Sure! Come on over and clean my house because boy, it sure does need it!"
I bet a lot of people say shit like that and I bet it's not that funny to the phone techs. Still, it is tempting. They leave themselves wide open with that one.

And then, instead of going and taking a good long nap with the fan blowing directly on me which is what I felt like doing, I ironed a bunch of shirts and finished watching Tales in the City which led to me dropping tears on the shirts as I ironed and I'm not kidding. And then I started watching the Martin Scorsese  fake documentary film about Bob Dylan's Rolling Thunder Review because I'd watched all of the Tales in the City episodes but I hadn't finished ironing all the shirts.
I just don't even know what to think about this film.
I know that there is definitely real footage in it and I also know that some of the narrative is complete whimsical bullshit and that makes it a bit difficult to know what's real and what's not which, I suppose, is so Dylan.
I will say that he sure was beautiful back in his younger years. I'll watch the entire thing because that's part of my history and it's fascinating on the real level for me, at least.
Back to reality, aren't we?

And then, and THEN, I made the eggplant parmesan which took me about an hour and a half to get from the raw eggplant and tomato stage to the finished product in a casserole dish ready to go into the oven. It and a loaf of bread I also made are both in the oven already because I think my husband's going to leave me if I don't start serving his supper before 9 p.m.
Not really. He'd never leave me for that. I don't think.
I wonder what he would leave me for? I know I've tested his love consistently since November of 1983 and he's still here.
I am a pretty good cook though. That may explain some of it.
And I love him and he knows it.

So there you go- a mundane report about a mundane day from a mundane woman leading a mundane life.
I have a beautiful and completely NOT mundane picture that I took at the river today but despite my best efforts, I can't get it to upload here.
I sure hope that the guy who's coming tomorrow to fix this problem knows what he's doing.

I have to say that those guys usually do.

I remain optimistic despite all. Well. Sort of. Check in tomorrow to see if my optimism is unfounded or founded. Is that a word? Founded? I have no idea.

Love...Ms. Moon


  1. Your eggplant and bread sound wonderful and you made some headway in trying to correct your Internet problem. Plus, you enjoyed some time at the river. A good day. Of course, this is from someone whose idea of a good day is being able to read in bed. Good luck with the technician tomorrow.

  2. eggplant parm and baking bread in your heat? I applaud you, woman!!!! We end up eating tuna salad or chicken salad or salad period, in that kind of heat. I'm sure it was was your dip in the river/lake. I do believe that *founded* is a word ;-)
    Sleep well with fan blowing
    Susan M

  3. Oh honey, bless your heart. I have to sympathize with you. We are melting. We have the air conditioning on at 71 and it is still stifling hot in this darn house. I am beginning to think it might be a bit cooler outside with the breeze but that breeze isn't strong enough to blow those man eating alive MOSQUITOS away. One toe out of the door and they attack. So stay in and smother, go outside and take your chances of being eaten alive.
    Where is a good alligator when you need one? I almost choose one over the man eating alive MOSQUITOS.

    Your egg plant and bread does sound lovely but no way am I heating up our kitchen by turning on the oven. It is left overs for us. My son got us some Mediterranean food last night and it is so good cold the next day. I love fend for yourself nights at my house but I live with my kids and so I wouldn't recommend any of my dinner nights. It would break all of our hearts if Mr.Moon left you! But I am sure that he won't. :)

    I am off to bed. It is early for me but I am very tired. I'm still not feeling well. I was finally able to get my doctor to give me a referral to a Gastrologist today because of these stomach issues. It was sort of a deal breaker. Give me that damn referral or I am finding another doctor. I Got The Referral. Now I just have to wait 2 years to hear back from them to set me up an appointment!

    I hope that you will be cool for the rest of the night and sleep well. I bet your dip in the river was really refreshing. Sweet Dreams!

  4. God, I hear you on the heat. Isn't it awful? I can't muster up much will to do anything but nap in the afternoons under the ceiling fan. The a/c can barely keep up, as you say. The bill will be outrageous. And you know what I really hate about this heat? Everybody I know seems to have more fun in the summer than me. It's too hot to go anywhere or do anything. When I suggested a day trip or two before the summer's over to my husband, he said, not until it cools down. We don't have a river to swim in and the ocean is an hour and a half Myrtle Beach (the closest beach to us) sucks these days. Terrible crime, terrible crowds, too many forms of entertainment we care nothing for. Sigh. I miss the beach vacations of my childhood.

  5. I love eggplant parmesan but it is time intensive. I made some last year with the little japanese eggplants I had grown and that took forever. 4 hours at least. I kid you not. won't do that again. next time I'll grow the big ones.

  6. you may feel your life is mundane, but it sure doesn't read as mundane, it's actually pretty exciting and varied, from where i sit. i'm happy to be your voyeur.


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