Peel and shuck and shuck and jive and sweat and walk and sweat and dive and no, I did not go to the river today or take a walk, either, but stayed right here in Lloyd and pretended to be a housewife.
I still shame-shudder a bit when I have to fill out a form and there it is: OCCUPATION_________
Eh, whatever. I am. Still, thank you, all you sisters who liberated me to go into the boardroom, to the office, to the stage, to the whatever it is I could have/should have done. I wasted your efforts, didn't I? Staying home and tending children and gardens and sweeping floors and making meals and whatever it is I've done all my life.
That's how I feel some days. Today.
I did indeed scrub and I mopped and I swept and I washed and I folded and I ironed and I picked and I shucked those peas and now they are on the stove and I don't know. I really don't know much. I read people's posts on Facebook and they are so sure about what kind of a Democratic candidate should run in order to win against the beast and it occurs to me that no one knows because we didn't know how low the citizens of this country would go and now more of them are emboldened to reveal their most inner vile selves and how are you going to run anyone against that and expect to win? You could run Jesus Christ himself, Abraham Lincoln, Thomas Jefferson, Harriet Tubman, Winston Churchill- it wouldn't matter.
I truly don't believe it would matter.
Intelligence and goodness and morality and truthfulness don't matter.
And it's pouring rain and speaking of low, I just I am.
I know in my heart that raising four children and loving them and loving their children and living this life of mine has been worthwhile. I know that.
It's just that- well, you know- we all have those days.
And I love the rain. The sky has let loose with all the force of a million firehoses, my huge lady spider is holding on to her web with all her might.
May tomorrow be fresh and new and may Mueller have something to say (and be allowed to say it) that can put an end to this hideous farce.
But I don't have much hope.
We shall see.
And at least my kitchen floor is clean. And that is nice. It's not a cure for cancer but it's nice.