Wednesday, July 17, 2019

Relief In Several Regards

I have had almost no anxiety today. Occasionally a little flash goes through me, almost like a cat's tongue, coming out of nowhere, a bit of a rough little swipe but then gone.
I am so grateful.
Here's another thing I am grateful for- I had a massage.
For about the past thirty-something years I've had hip and lower back pain and for some years I tried to figure out the source and an antidote. I went to a regular doctor (actually, several) and got chiropractic care and did prescribed stretches and did yoga for years and nothing ever came close to dealing with it. I've learned to live with it. It gets worse after exercise to the point where I often wonder why I do it but one cannot simply stop moving.
Jessie went to a massage therapist a few months ago and came away with high praise. The woman who had done it was quite skilled and gave her some good relief for various problems. She encouraged me to go see her myself and I swore I would and then never did but I did "friend" the woman's FB business page and on Sunday, I think, I just impulsively dared myself to instant message her and made an appointment.
And today was the day.
I had a feeling we were going to be a good fit when after meeting her and talking for ten minutes, we had both teared up. In case you haven't figured this out- I do like to make profound connections with people. I suppose this is how I establish trust. Who knows? Anyway, I gave myself over to her completely and for ninety minutes she worked on my back and my hips and found the places that are so very tight and which, over the years, have become a real problem.
I actually feel better tonight. And I am going to go back to her.
I keep saying, jokingly, that "self-care is all the rage," and it is but what that really means is a somewhat dubious thing. Does it mean buying oneself a new lipstick? Taking aromatherapy bubble baths? Getting pedicures? Signing up for Zumba?
I am not sure but I think that going to see this woman regularly and letting her very skilled hands work on my old body to relieve pain qualifies.
It was interesting. Despite the fact that she found and manipulated my most painful points, it was at the same time relaxing. She checked with me frequently to ask if the level of her pressure was enough, just right,  or too much. And I felt that she really wanted to know and I told her and sometimes it verged on the uncomfortable but it was okay. It felt right.
So. We shall see. I am not looking for a complete healing of a body that has developed its own musculoskeletal problems over the course of a lifetime but perhaps there can be an easing of pain and that has to be a good thing.

And that was what I did today. And went to Publix. Because every time I go to town I need to go to Publix. I know I've said this before but I swear to god- I am slap out of ideas for cooking. I've been doing this for forty-five years or more- coming up with ideas for supper- and although of course I haven't really come to a brick wall with it, it sure feels like I'm close. Which is ridiculous. I've got a freezer full of venison and fish from the wild. I have vegetables in the garden. I have eggs galore. I have cookbooks by the score.
I think I need to peruse a few of them.
The fact of the matter is- I do love to cook and I take pride in it. And even more important- I love to eat and I want what I eat to be good.
Anyway, tonight we are having stewed tomatoes, eggplant, and green beans from the garden. Also, snow crab legs which were on sale at Publix. And leftover delicious focaccia.
Gosh. Has there ever been a more First World discussion than this?
I think not.
And I feel as if I should bow my head in shame.

Instead I think I'll go start sauteing onions and garlic. And pick some oregano.

Two hens laid their eggs in the basket with a flap on it on the back porch today. Funny girls.
Oh! And it rained and the temperature dropped from ninety-five to a far more tolerable eighty-six.

But Donald Trump is still the biggest ass in the known universe. And his followers are legion.
Thank god for anti-depressants.

Love...Ms. Moon


  1. goddamn anxiety
    me too all day yesterday I had baby zucchini and cherry tomatoes and spring onions with scrambled eggs tonight the same only with pasta and corn off the cob
    and the news the news
    no wonder this anxiety is so toothy
    darling Mary I hope you find relief soon like NOW

    we have had 63 degrees all summer and the zucchini and cherry toms are all my garden has given me

    Happy Early BD
    Love you

    1. I meant anxiety all day today sheesh I cannot even cobble a sentence togetheršŸ˜˜

    2. Goddamn, goddamn, godDAMN anxiety. It takes away everything that makes life worth living. And it scrambles our brains and it aches and pains our bodies. It's a motherfucker.
      I love you so. Happy early birthday to you, my Leo sister. My cherry tomato kinfolk.

  2. I am sorry that pain is your companion- you are cheerful and thoughtful in spite of steady pain, better person than I that is a given! Mr. Man has constant pain in his butt area- life in general and tRUMP have contributed but mostly it is neuropathy . Nothing can be done about that! Maybe massage might be a thing for him, good suggestion.

  3. I have pain that grows with each passing year due to a combination of things, massage is my biggest relief. I hope this continues to help you.

  4. I'm so glad you had a massage and will feel comfortable continuing with this. regimen. Although nothing can *cure* an aging body...... it can bring good relief of pain and tension. I have been having massages once a month, chiropractor every 6 weeks....and that seems to keep me on an even keel for the most part.....a tolerable level. I chided myself for a long time about *splurging* on these things......but decided.....wth? I AM worth it.......and so are you!
    Know what you mean about cooking.....I've hit a brick wall also...... much like you. I am waiting for the spark to re-ignite . ;-)
    Susan M

  5. I doubt I've cooked anything yet that you already make, ten times better. I am so gooood at sauteing my onions and garlic and sautey stuff in my little cast iron frying pan. I love them doing their thing there on the back burner and just wanting a little stir from me occasionally.
    I tried massage for my back seizing up, years ago. I wore a corset, wore a brace. Couldn't move. I settled for drugs. They keep me on my feet, almost. I don't know any solution, but sure wish you the best with your new therapist.

  6. I like massage as well for pain. I usually come out feeling like a wet shopping for me afterward. Something else I tried was Bowen therapy and it worked really well. Unfortunately my therapist passed away suddenly and there is no one else in my city practicing it.

    Glad you had better day with your anxiety. Also your cooking skills far exceed mine. I'm a simple cook - tonight was grilled chicken marinated in balsamic vinaigrette with a rice pilaf and green peas. Nothing special!

  7. That was a great thing to do, nice idea. I feel massage is one of the things we should ask have regularly, in an ideal world.

  8. Oh my god, I am so glad for you. I'm glad you will keep going. May you be well and your aches and pains eased. May your anxiety be lessened, too.

  9. To find blessed relief for any pain, physical or mental, is beyond wonderful at times. Glad you found someone who can help with your back/hips. And I'm with you on the frustration of coming up with something for dinner after decades of making meal after meal. Unlike you, I do not love to cook. Good enough at it--just not thrilled by it.

  10. massages are just heavenly. humans thrive on touch and what better then having every part of your body hugged. my mother had a masseuse come in once a week. my sister goes once a week. I've had a few. I should do it more regularly.

  11. Our bodies know how to heal. So do our hearts. I love you.

  12. There's always corned beef salad! What are you waiting for?!

    I'm so glad the massage worked out. Self-care is indeed the rage, and for good reason -- we're ALL stressed out!

  13. Well as a massage therapist myself...I am happy you tried it out and found someone you like and trust to see if it's a help to your painful places. Yay...massage is awesome!


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