That was fine.
I realize that I'm obsessed and it does no good. Dax Shepherd said something on one of his podcasts about how his wife wakes up every morning and starts pressing the lever of news for that hit of monkey coke because she's addicted to the horror of everyday's newest events in Washington.
I recognized myself in that.
Why do I feel as if every fucking thing that Trump does is something that I need to pay attention to? To bear witness to? To rage about, scream about, be horrified about?
None of this does any good at all and it's not good for my health and I know it.
I CAN'T DO ANYTHING ABOUT ANY OF IT!
Well, I can call my reps, I can send money to groups that ARE trying to do something about it. And of course- I can vote.
But there's something in me that wants to examine each and every new atrocity and pick at it until it bleeds or runs with pus. Perhaps so that I can share this all with my fellow sufferers, so that we can compare the nasty wounds that are being created by each day's events.
I don't know.
I do know, however, that I sure don't feel like celebrating any damn fourth of July. Not that I ever really do but this year more (less?) than ever.
I've noticed that my across-the-street neighbor who generally flies the flag for every patriotic holiday is not flying it today. He may be patriotic but he's also intelligent, educated, and as left-leaning as anyone can be.
We're getting the tiniest of rains. Just enough to make the air smell of ozone, to make the gentlest sound of water slapping the ground as it rolls off the roof overhang. There was an earthquake in California. There is a heat wave in Alaska. India is becoming too hot for human habitation.
It was 104 degrees today when I got in my car after being in the restaurant. It cooled down to 98 when I got rolling but still.
One hundred and four degrees.
I've got to stop poking at these wounds. I've got to just live my life in the very best way that I can, treating everyone with respect and doing what I can to cut down on carbon in the atmosphere.
I've got to stop letting Donald Trump dictate my mental health, my wellbeing.
I remember the morning after he got elected and I sobbed and sobbed, as so many of us did.
We knew. We knew, we knew, we knew.
We didn't know.
We had no idea how bad it would get.
Well. Here we are.
This picture sums it up and makes me as fearful for my country as anything I've ever seen except for perhaps the pictures of children in cages wearing aluminum foil blankets.
Ellen Abbott posted it on Facebook today.
There you go.
We finished watching the film Rolling Thunder Revue last night and you know what killed me about it? The fact that we had a moment. We, the people, specifically but not exclusively, the young people had a moment wherein we thought that we could actually change the world.
Hell. We even had Bob Dylan and Joan Baez.
And that is one of the reasons I am so fucking depressed today and is also one of the reasons I need to let some of this shit go. People are going to do what people do and the way it's going, the planet's going to go up in flames anyway.
I'm making another tomato pie. Mayonnaise and all.
Oh, Trump, you're killing me.
Be safe, y'all. Hang tough. Things ARE going to change. They always do. Hopefully, we'll have time to save ourselves, to repair, to fix, to energize, to feel joy once again.
Let's not let that man put us in early graves. Let us live long enough to see justice.
Believe in freedom.
You know. All the good.
We have to try, at least.
Yes, keep the faith, Mary. It may all work out, hahahaha. But I really hope so. I was so hopeful in the sixties that all our protests and pro-love would make a difference. I believed that the world was ready for peace. I didn't account for the seductive allure of power. The majority of human beings have a need for power. I am so afraid for the future of my 6 year-old granddaughter. I have to believe that saner heads will ultimately prevail. If I were of the sort, I would PRAY that saner heads will prevail. But right now at this moment, I am sad. I am depressed and I am pessimistic. You know, kind of like, fuck it all.ReplyDelete
Dianne, you've pretty much summed up how I feel, up to and including the fact that I'd pray if I believed in it at all.Delete
Which I don't. So.
I think we're going to be okay although honestly, I don't see how our planet can continue to take what we're doing to it. And when that fails, well, that's it people! We ain't moving to Mars.
Keep things in your mind's eye, like the hippie girl who put a flower in the guardsman's rifle at Kent State. Like John Lennon, Give Peace a Chance. Like Bob Dylan and Joan Baez. Yes, probably the worst day since I don't remember when. Start over tomorrow.ReplyDelete
Good images, Joanne. Thank you. We have to keep trying, don't we? We have to keep believing in the love.Delete
I love you, Mrs. Moon. I don't have any comforting words but I love you.ReplyDelete
Thank you, elf, and hello.Delete
I agree with all of the above...I feel like you do but we need to keep going.ReplyDelete
It's so true. We cannot just lay down and die.Delete
I now think of the news as "What fucking stupid thing did tRump do or say today?" It will pass.ReplyDelete
Here's something that will make you smile.
Yep. That's what the news is all about these days. I keep waiting for there to be a story about how the man has been arrested or forced out of office or, or, or...Delete
Patience, I suppose.
That did make me smile. I can totally relate to that poor woman.
I only read news selectively to see if *someone* has outdone his previous stupidity. I continue to be in a state of disbelief since the morning after the election. All we can do is keep loving, questioning, and hoping ....... and being true to ourselves.ReplyDelete
Sorry about your incredible heat......I would surely die
He DOES outdo his previous stupidities, day after day. Lord GOD but when he is going to stick his foot so far down his throat that it comes out his ass?Delete
It's all too much. But it does sustain me somewhat knowing others are as horrified and depressed about the state of this country as I am.ReplyDelete
So many of us, Jill. SO MANY!Delete
Mary I understand where you are coming from. My family, all of my children, yes all 5 of them and most of my friends think that Trump the DUMP is amazing and they are all in his corner.ReplyDelete
I STAND OUT LIKE A SORE THUMB...
I really do. I have no one to talk to about my concerns or fears. My kids make me feel like I am stupid because "Mom can't you see the Good he is doing for our country?" No I can't. I see children in cages not having access to food and water and soap and sleeping on concrete floors. What good is in that?
I see Men and women serve their country and when they get back here to the USA they are arrested and deported!
I see all of the bad. I don't see anything good.
I am really glad that here at least I can say what I feel and not feel like... oh you better not say that or she will block you from her blog....
I don't want to think that I am obsessed with him or that he takes up a single minute of my day but the truth is he does. I don't like it but it is the sad truth.
But after todays spectacle I am going to try not to dwell on the news. Is there anything else he can do to ruin my days? Of course.
I don't watch Fox news at all. I think that Hannity and Tucker Carlson Suck big time and I wish I could just slap Kellyanne Conway just once... I swear I don't know how her husband lives with her.
But I'm very tired of letting him dominate my life and my social media. I will just try my best to stay away from the headlines and try not think about him.
I am sorry if this post makes you sad but I wanted to let you know that I understand what your feeling and I will try and bite my tongue and take your lead...
We have had about as much fireworks as we can stand. My little dog has been shaking like a leaf since about 7:00 tonight. It is after midnight now and still fireworks are still going off.
I have been to bed 3 times and have been woken up every time. All I can do is hold Foxy tight and try and her as secure and feel as safe as I can. She is a little chichi Chua. I think I misspelled that. But she is terrified of all of the loud noises. That is one of the reasons my son and I stayed in tonight because we didn't want her to be alone. We had thought of going to a dinner and a movie but we stayed in.
I was at the hospital with my dad on July 4th 1991. He died the next morning a little after 10:00 am so ever since then I have never cared for the 4th of July.
I am going to try and get some sleep. Take care Ms.Moon… Hand in there girl. You got this... we are all in this together. Hugs, Beth
I don't know what in hell I'd do if my family had any Trump lovers in it. I do have one in-law who thinks he's fabulous but I rarely see her. But I'm not sure you should give up entirely on trying to help your kids see the light.Delete
I don't know.
I'm sorry that the 4th has such bad connotations for you. That's tough.
We'll all hang in. What else can we do?
Excuse my errors. My eyelids are getting really heavy... xx BethReplyDelete
I think you should block those godawful Trump fb pages. Nothing you say will change their minds, just harden their resolve. I guess those people have always been out there. We just see them more now.ReplyDelete
True on all counts although I've come to believe that some of those sites are fake and bot-run. Honest to god, I do.Delete
I "feel" the news like you do. I am addicted to it but as you suggest - what good is such an addiction? At least I have forced myself to stop following Trump's Twitter feed. It was like watching the outflow from a sewer pipe. Bad for your health.ReplyDelete
I'd probably kill myself if I followed his Twitter feed. I have had the sense to stay off of Twitter entirely. What in hell good would it do me?Delete
I think what scares us the most is that, at the very least, we thought the rule of law and the ideals of the Constitution would put the brakes on this travesty of an administration. We hoped that the other branches of government would use their authority to keep things in check. But the slimy Republican Senate Majority Leader had already shown (i.e. blocking the Garland nomination to Supreme Court)that he was a full on sleaze and the only thing he has led is the rest of the Senate Republican sycophants to bend over and kiss the orange @ss. The Supreme Court is now weighted with too many who care not a damn about justice--only conservative 'wins'. So we find ourselves wondering if anything will stop the madness and we despair. You are not alone.ReplyDelete
That's it exactly- no one seems to be able to stop him and if they do, temporarily, a work-around is generally found that allows him to do what he wants to do. It's infuriating and I had no idea how incredibly cruel and self-serving so many politicians are.Delete
It’s interesting how different people deal with Trump. My tendency is to skim the headlines but go no deeper — so I’m not ignorant but I’m also not wallowing in it. I am literally holding my breath and closing my eyes as much as possible. Dave, on the other hand, is like you. He’s constantly on Facebook reading about the latest Trump atrocity. I think the outrage gives him energy and helps him cope. Whatever gets us through, I suppose!ReplyDelete
Well, that's probably a sensible approach, Steve. Be aware but don't pick the sores. Some of us just can't seem to help it though.Delete
Do not let the Republicans confiscate the symbol of the American flag...the flag belongs to We the People, the UNITED STATES of America! I'm very anti-trump but I will hang my flag out every damn day despite him. I suppose some people will think I'm Republican because of that, but I don't care. Our country has severe problems and divisions but we must continue working toward solutions. This is our home, and we must love and care about it enough it to support it through bad times and good, and work toward a better future for our children. Everyone, please consider hanging out your flags despite Trump!ReplyDelete
Well, I've never been a flag waver to begin with. I don't think I was born with the patriotism gene. I was born in America and I had nothing to do with that. It just happened. Nor have I done anything to improve the country, I'm pretty sure. So, no, I won't be waving a flag. Don't even have one. The one time I was tempted to wave one was when Obama got elected president. At that moment, and for eight years, I was indeed proud of my country.Delete
For me, it's not about being proud of my country or being patriotic (I'm neither). I just don't like how people who do choose to wave a flag are now considered to support a certain toxic republican ideology. This country is the home of us all...the simple act of hanging a flag should not label you as a white christian racist gun-toting neanderthal. Not that the country doesn't have bigger problems to deal with...I just think there's room on a national holiday to acknowledge the small problem of our flag getting commandeered by an especially toxic batch of republicans.Delete
In fact, the red and blue stripes on the flag are supposed to symbolize the two parties of our government working together for the betterment of the people. That might be a complete joke right now, but IMHO it is still something to strive for.
Ugh, I mean the red and blue COLORS on the flag, not stripes. Time to hit the hay. Have a good night, Ms. Mary Moon! :)Delete
I can understand your distress but we need to bear witness. We must be aware of all this shit that's happening (and it's not just this "president") - the hate mongering, the numbing of empathy, the making of "enemies", the blame games and the attacks on the press - and if we find it too stressful or painful to watch or hear or read we need to support each other so that we can face it. If we look away we will become part of it.ReplyDelete
Oh, I agree, Sabine! I am not going to look away. I will bear witness if nothing else. You're right. To ignore is to be complicit.Delete
oh god Mary, where is the middle line, the one we can trod without tipping over to either extreme of constant outrage or total ignorance. I flip back and forth. once again I need to pull back. we decided after Trump was elected not to fly our flag, not until he is gone. hard to be proud of the country it stands for these days.ReplyDelete
Well, that's the question, isn't it? Where is the line between letting ourselves descend into raging madness and simply being aware? Like you, I often lose sight of that line. It's so easy to do.Delete
I am glad i am not alone in mainlining the crazy in Washington. It blows my mind completely that we see what is happening and are powerless to change it. Surely we should be able to do something more than vote, especially since we have no idea whether the vote is compromised anyway. We are watching it happen helplessly! How is that possible. But watching it happen, bearing witness, looking for the moment when we can act to change things, that is doing something. That may be the best we can do in this moment, but we are making sure we stay ready. That's what i tell myself anyway.ReplyDelete
And yes, that disembodied head on the chain link fence is symbolic and terrifying.ReplyDelete