Thursday, December 15, 2016

Some Of Us Are Just More Visible

Another quiet day but a good one. I took a longish walk and I feel good about those walks and I know that the lack of heat has so much to do with my enjoyment of them. They are not pure torture, I suppose is the best way to put it.
I hung clothes on the line and I did some ironing and we all know how perversely I enjoy that. The iron hissing over the cloth, the sense of accomplishment as one shirt after another gets hung neatly in the closet.
I picked greens for our salad and to take in to Hank tomorrow.
I did unpack my suitcase from its box and laid it open on the bed and have begun to fold clothes into it. It seems huge which is fine. I'll have room to bring treasures back with me. I remember one year my suitcase zipper busting when I was packing up to come home and the hotel gave me a length of grosgrain ribbon to tie around it to hold it closed.
I still have that ribbon.

So. It's been a simple day doing simple things.

Tomorrow I'm meeting my kids and grandkids in town, Saturday will be Jan's memorial service. I think of that and my very soul feels quiet. I have not come to terms with the fact that she is gone. I doubt I am the only one. Saturday is also the second anniversary of Kathleen's death.
I'm not sure that I've come to terms with the fact that she's gone either.
I'll never really know how to tell the difference between denial and acceptance and I suppose it doesn't really matter in the long run. My state of mind about the passing of a loved one is hardly of consequence in the grand scheme of things.

Well. Jessie and August are home. I got this picture from Jessie today.

They stopped at a park in Silver Springs and there were giant insects to ride. August is astride a giant ant. That made me smile. They had a good time in St. Pete with Vergil and he'll be home when his work is done.

Meanwhile, here we all are, living our lives, simple and complex, remembering those who are not with us any longer, celebrating their lives and our own as well. We are all entwined, whether we are living or dead, our souls interwoven into a cloth whose fibers are so bound together that there is no separating them, even after bodies have gone on.

May everyone sleep sweetly tonight, and remember how your life is interwoven into the lives of those you love and have loved and take great comfort in that, as you take comfort in the quilts and comforters which warm and envelope you as you rest to rise again, to live this life which you have been given.

Me too.

Love...Ms. Moon


  1. I'm glad you have walks and tasks to keep you busy. All the best and thanks for sharing this post with us.

  2. Today I learned that a man who has been like a second dad to me for 50+ years has cancer and was given three months to live. I'm so tired of losing people to this horrendous disease! I posted a rant on Facebook and had to edit it twice because even to myself I sounded like a raging lunatic. I need a day or thirty to just 'be' so I'm farther from the precipice of......something.

  3. You blow me away on a daily basis, but what you wrote tonight about, "We are all entwined..." Whew. That's some profound stuff. Thank you, Mary. And thanks, too, for the John Lennon video. My tears flow with yours, on so many levels.

  4. This is the part of aging I really don't like. Losing too many good people hurts and I don't know that we ever really get over it. We are all part of each other and, as you say, entwined in life and death.

  5. wish I had some woods to walk in within walking distance. nothing but scraggly wild spaces full of poison ivy around here and fields and pastures.


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