Thursday, February 7, 2013

THAT Was Fucking Brutal

I think we're going to live. There was quite a bit of doubt about that yesterday. You have never seen two such pathetic people. Mr. Moon is more stoic than I so he wasn't whimpering and moaning but I was. Going to the bathroom to pee and having to PULL MY PANTIES DOWN hurt the skin on my legs so bad I couldn't contain the agony.
I'm not even kidding you.
Even though my husband wasn't quite as demonstrative about the pain as I was, he sure wasn't moving much. And when he did, it was sloooow. And shuffling. Picking his feet up required more energy than he had. Of course, he does have size-sixteen feet so there is that. At one point I asked him to PLEASE SIT DOWN AND STOP WALKING. IT WAS MAKING TOO MUCH NOISE!
That noise thing was killing me.
We hurt too much to sleep. We hurt too much to watch TV. We hurt too much to do anything but look at each other with wide eyes like, "Are we DYING?"
And then there were the sweats and the chills. Still having those.
Ibuprofen helped fine. For about an hour. And then the pain would come bursting back like a hot knife released from a scabbard. Or something. And I'd be moaning and whimpering again.

I kept trying to read but that was impossible. I tried to start two different new library books but gave up after a page or two. Do you hear me? I couldn't read! It was like trying to read while in labor. Or with a kidney stone. No book on earth could have held my attention.

Anyway, at midnight I finally got up out of my bed of pain and sweat and went into the kitchen and found a years'-old Percocet in the freezer and took it. Smartest thing I ever did in my fucking life. Then I went into the library and pulled down my old tattered paperback copy of The Evening Star by Larry McMurtry. I don't know how many times I've read that book but lying in my bed feeling that Percocet take hold and being able to enter the world of Aurora Greenway was one of the sweetest moments of my life. After about half an hour, I was finally able to sleep. Some. For a few blessed hours.

And it's gray and drizzly today and I actually have a load of wash running. Feels like a monumental hurdle crossed, getting that laundry going and being able to sit up and spend some time writing this. And drinking some coffee. And a smoothie with yogurt and fruit. I've actually brushed my hair which hurt too bad yesterday to even contemplate. If someone had tried to pluck one of my eyebrows I would have simply died. Died. I still wouldn't want anyone to pluck anything from my body but I can imagine that that might happen one day in the future which is a vast improvement.

We're still walking around burping and sighing and groaning but we are walking around.

I keep thinking about how, when I was talking to Jessie yesterday on the phone and she was about to go into work, I said, "If you start feeling like you're about to get this, GET HOME!" She and Vergil were exposed to it too and since the incubation period is so long, they are not out of danger yet.
She said, "Sounds like if I get it I should just stay in the hospital."
I thought about that for a moment. I thought about someone making up a bed with clean sheets and administering drugs and maybe bringing a little dish of jello.
"Yes," I said. "You're right."

Don't get this, y'all. And if you do (GOD forbid!) I pray you have a Percocet stashed away somewhere.  And the sense to take it.

Or heroin. Something opiate-based. Or just go to the damn hospital.

I'm going to go lay down now.

Love...Ms. Moon


13 comments:

  1. Shit, I miss a day or two of posts, too busy in the city, and your whole world went to shit. This is why I live like a hermit.

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  2. Holy crap! I hope you and Mr. Moon continue to improve as the day progresses. And that Jessie and Vergil don't get it.

    I'm glad you found something that gave you at least a little bit of relief.

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  3. I know this wasn't supposed to be funny and I hope I don't get punished for laughing, but god forgive me I did.
    Get better!

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  4. Well I certainly hope I don't get it. Me and opiates don't mix.

    So glad you seem to be on the upswing.

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  5. Ellen Abbott- I'm a hermit too. But I do have to see my kids and grandkids and they see other people and there you go...

    Lulumarie- One of the best drug experiences of MY LIFE!

    Jo- It truly was.

    Brother Wrecking Ball- No. I am glad you laughed. I was trying to trod that thin line between utter truth and humor.

    Stephanie- Then you better not get it. That's all I can say.

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  6. Forgive me, but I am laughing, too. Maybe it will seem funny to y'all, when you look at it from a considerable distance.

    That's why god invented drugs, for just such moments as you were having. Glad that percoset brought you some relief.

    Sending lots of Get Better JuJu to you and the Moon Man. x0x0 N2

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  7. Ick! I thought my sore throat/upper respiratory illness was bad. You sound completely miserable!! Im so sorry.

    Hope you get well soon. Lots of fluids.
    xo

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  8. I don't see the humor but that's me. It sounds just awful. I got my first flu shot on Monday. I've read the flu this year is as you describe and I can't stand anyone barfing, including myself. I hope you and Mr Moon continue to feel better but it does not seem as if Dog Island should be in your thoughts for this weekend...

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  9. I WISH I had a Percocet in the freezer.

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  10. That sounds awful. I hope you're both feeling at least a little better by today . . . O I've jutsa noticed you've written another post since this one. I'll go and check if you're on the mend. Sending love and opiate based hugs x

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  11. I don't like being sick. It does sound terrible. I would just go to bed and stay there.

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  12. You're the only person I know who can blog when they're dying! Feel better!

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