Saturday, February 9, 2013

Even Mamas Need To Mind Their Own Business

Today was a day for working on the secret wedding things and Lily came over with the boys and we worked some together and we passed Gibson around and Boppy played with Owen and we got a few things done. I am still moving rather slowly and so is Mr. Moon. He ate a tuna sandwich from the Subway today for lunch and his stomach did not approve. I ate two of last night's sweet potato oat bran muffins for my lunch and my stomach feels fine.

It has been the most beautiful day, but a little chilly. Owen wanted to watch some Little Mermaid and he got up on the guest room bed and wanted all the covers and he and his grandfather watched a little while but then he wanted to do a puzzle and so The Little Mermaid was abandoned and they also found four beautiful eggs and played outside.

I can't believe how much his looks are changing. He is growing from baby to boy so fast. Almost too fast. I look at his face and I see a beauty there that I can hardly believe. It's a different sort of beauty, and yes, his longer hair is part of it and he doesn't want his hair cut and so his mama and his daddy are letting him be about it. I am proud of them for that. Especially Jason. As with everything about that man, I am incredibly impressed by the way he fathers his sons. He is a good, gentle man. And he is a good husband, as well. A mother could not wish more for her daughter, not in a million years.

I look back on the times when my children dated people whom I could not warm to and there was part of me that thought, Oh, Lord. No. And there were times I wanted to step in front of them with a whistle and put it to my lips and blow sharp, shrill notes of warning.
This is not your true love! Let this person go!
And I did not because I remembered my younger days. I remembered some of the boys I dated. I cringed a little and then I realized that I had learned something from each of them, even if the lesson was simply, "No, not this type of person."
And I am not one bit sorry for not getting involved in that way.
I am glad I have trusted my kids to find their way down each path they have set their feet to.

Well, that's all I have to say tonight. Just that if you are the mother of kids who are making choices that you, from the perspective of your age and years would not necessarily make, it is not necessarily your job to lecture, to hector, to warn. It is your job to love your child and trust that he or she will figure it out, just as you did. To let things take their own course. To trust that maybe your child will end up with a knowledge that far surpasses anything you may have been able to impart with words.

That's all.

Trust. Love. Encourage. Support.

And to be patient and accept with wonder as to how things turn out.

That and maybe avoid the Subway tuna sandwich.

Yours truly...Ms. Moon


12 comments:

  1. I ate a chicken sandwich from subway for dinner too :) And a cookie. I feel ok. Glad you're all better!

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  2. Sometimes I wish you had said hell no! But then who knows if I would have found my way to Jason and the life we have now. I love you so much, and thank you for all the help today and everyday.

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  3. SJ- I am almost always wary of commercial tuna sandwiches. I have worked in food service.

    Lily- Well, maybe I should have. But I didn't. And would it have done one bit of good? No. I don't think so. And here we are. I wouldn't change a thing. I love you so much. And thank you for being exactly who you are. And for being the mama of my beautiful, wonderful grandsons. But mostly for being you because you are...well...my amazing Lily.

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  4. You know, I think we need a new acronym:

    DWMMWD

    Do What Ms. Moon Would Do

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  5. Glad you're feeling better. You're wiser than ever.

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  6. I love your approach to parenting. I wish I had such parents growing up. And Owen's hair is beautiful. S. Jo

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  7. Good advice, at least regarding relationships. I can't vouch one way or the other for the tuna.

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  8. I am wary of all Subway sandwiches and avoid them. They all taste unpleasant to me, especially the cold cuts.

    Glad you're feeling better!

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  10. Very wise words, as always.
    So glad that you're both feeling better x

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  11. oh yeah, I remember my parents forbidding me to see one boy or another. Just made me more determined and really it never stopped me from seeing them. We would just have some other guy come to the house to pick me up for my date. I never forbade either of my kids to see or hang out with any particular person. There was really only one friend of my son's whom I seriously did not like. He was a few years older and wanted to be a guru with followers and my son and his friend were impressed with him. My only advice to my son was to 'watch his back' around that guy who eventually shot his girlfriend and killed her.

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  12. Your advise about minding your own business is so true. For me it is really timely. My 18 year old, away at her first year of college, is an awesome kid. But, I still worry and probably harp too much. It is a balance. I am trying to let her learn all she needs to learn about life while interjecting just enough to keep her alive. I overdo it sometimes:)

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