Thursday, February 16, 2012

Hey! I Didn't Get Enough Sleep! Okay?

I woke up at 4:53 a.m. and thought maybe I'd had a stroke because for some reason, those clock numbers meant nothing to me. Hard to explain. But then I made myself mentally draw a round clock face and put in the hands at 4:53 and I could do it and by then I'd figured it all out again and then I smiled in the darkness, not because I was happy but because if you've had a stroke, you can't smile on both sides of your face but it seemed as if my face was responding appropriately on all sides to the smile command.

Getting old is weird.

I could not get back to sleep. I laid there with a pain in my shoulder that seems to represent every molecule of negativity in my life and it just bugs the shit out of me. I lay there and I thought about things. For some reason, when I wake up and can't sleep, I decide that yes, I am going to start blogging about sex. Why not? I ask myself. I study the pluses and minuses of this equation. People need to talk about sex. Also- it might be fun. We could laugh at ourselves. We could say, "Is this normal?" "Am I normal?" "What the fuck is normal?" We could say, "Do you do this?" "Do you feel like this?" "What do you do about this?"
I decide I will do it.
Then I think about the people who read this blog who might be...what? Shocked? Offended? Threatened? Pissed off? (My husband, for example.) I think my kids could roll with it. Would my brother tell my mother about it? He tends to read my blog and then tell my mother on the phone what's going on in my life. Saves me some time, I guess. And hell, my mother talks about sex quite frequently. Mostly about how she does not want another man in her life ever again.
As Lulabelle says in the play I'm in, "Fiddledee-damn-well-dee to men!"
Which cracks me up every time.
She says, "Men, who needs them?"
And my character says, "Well, actually I do."

And I guess I do too. Or at least one. That one I'm married to. You know- Mr. Moon.

Well, back to the ins and outs of writing about sex.


See- I can't really do it. And why not? I am a tart-tongued woman who, in real life, can actually manage to talk about it sometimes. Although I think I am shyer than I seem when it comes to the topic.

Why are we so close-mouthed about our sex lives? We all have one in one form or another. Mostly. I think. Even those of us who live alone. As a character in a book I am listening to said, (or something like this, anyway) "Man, woman, beast, he's gettin' it somewhere. Does he keep goats?"

I tend to believe that too. Oh sure, there are people who probably don't have MUCH of a sex life in any form, just as there are people who are content to eat the same boring thing every day of their lives and for whom food is nothing but necessary fuel, but it's right up there in old Maslow's hierarchy of needs right after breathing, food, and water and BEFORE sleep although I disagree with him on that one. But maybe that's just me. I'd rather sleep than just about anything and that includes eating most of the time. And I'd make a joke here and say, well, Maslow was a man, after all, but are there really that many differences in the sexual needs of men versus women?
Yes. There are.
You can quote me on that.
I think that testosterone really is a powerful drug and that's all there is to it.

So is it all hormones? No, of course not.

Ah-lah. Speaking of sleep, I think I might go back to bed. Mr. Moon has left Lloyd to go down south to work on his sister's house for the weekend and Owen is coming at nine-thirty and I really did only get about five hours of sleep which is NOT enough for me and I guess I don't have the balls (or ovaries either) to really discuss sex which is too bad.

You, however, can if you want and some of you do and I admire that more than I can say. Feel free to just say whatever you want in the comments (as always) if you want to MAKE a comment and dammit- what's with the new comment verifications? FUCK THAT! I might try and go barebacked as to comment verification again but I just hate the spam. I know, Syd, I could do the approval thing. Again- life is too short for such folderol. Maybe. I don't know.

Here's what I do know: I love to eat, I love to sleep, I am certainly grateful to breathe, and sex can be fun. And complex. And complicated. And the best, best, best, and the weirdest, too.

And flowers are the sex organs of plants and shoes might have something to do with all of it although I am not exactly sure what.

Yours in truth and shyness...Ms. Moon


  1. Well, I did a post about sex and one about naughty nakedness and now I get hits from all over the world by people looking for porn and pictures of naked girls.

    and this new word verification by blogger sucks.

  2. 4.53 doesn't mean much to me either. I would gaze at it in confusion too.

    Please blog about sex. Sex seems like it's denied to middle aged people and is only the province of pert and ripped 22 year olds. Sex and menopause is a big one too, people need to know how to navigate that.

    The way I see it, you have a Duty to talk about sex. Shyness bedamned.

  3. Ms. Moon, you crack me up! Yes, getting old is weird.

    Being now single, middle aged (fast approaching old age) and possessing an actual libido, is a challenge. Dating AGAIN. Blech.

    Sex has always been high on my needs scale...I think it is the glue that holds relationships together. Nothing quite like it to create intimacy between to beings. It doesn't have to be often, but just often enough. Everyone has their own threshold -- and finding someone with one similar to yours is a real trick.

  4. Usually I turn the channel when the topic of sex comes up. It embarrasses me for the people doing the talking, kind of like how I would get embarrassed for Jerry Springer's guests if I watched his show. I like the idea of sex being rather sacred and between two people and am okay with whatever the heck they want to do with each other. I just don't want to hear about it. Obviously, this is just me and I'm always free to turn the channel or walk away.

    So, bottom line, is you should talk about whatever the heck you want and if someone doesn't like it, they don't have to read it.

    With regard to the new word verifications, a robot could read them better than I do.

  5. Don't worry, even if your brother tells your mother that you wrote about sex, she won't remember the conversation!

    (Lucy at home, permanently password and loginless)

  6. OH my god, I thought I had a stroke last night too! I even did the smile thing! For me, I have had 2 TIAs but they happened when I was pregnant and I'm not pregnant right now. So I may have reason to think about it more often than the average person, but how weird is it that we both did that in the middle of last night? I freaked myself out enough to take an aspirin, even after I passed the smile test. Tired.

    I can't blog about sex either. I don't think any of my readers would care, but every time I type something out, I realize maybe I don't really want that out there in internet land. It's just too permanent. But I like to read about it!

  7. Well, I really like sex. It is a high priority in our lives. I don't think that I need to blog about it. Hell, I think that almost everyone except you would freak out. But the authentic me is male and that's okay.

    And yeah, I do that comment moderation thing. Then I don't have to guess at words that I can hardly read. It makes it easier for those who comment too.

  8. I have never heard of the smile test--will have to remember that. Yes, menopause--the land of tiredness and sensitive tummy, and for me, teenagers. When it comes to sex our motto is "If you don't use it, you lose it."
    And the word verification thing--sheesh--I need two strong cups of coffee before I can do it.
    It says chinkens.

  9. I'm not allowed to talk about sex at work. And I'm not allowed to talk about work during sex. Or something like that; I can't remember.

  10. I'm just posting to check out the new word verification. Oh, and if I don't want to read posts that you write about sex, I will just not read them. I've written for sex blogs before, although under an assumed name.

  11. WRITE ABOUT SEX! I've done it for seven years on my blog and I don't care. I think it's dandy good and I've never been afraid to admit to my sluttiness and the only reason I closed my blog is because of my job. Have you ever read my book Radish King that whole danged thing is about sex. I am a bad girl and I don't care.


  12. Oh, funny. Did my oddly disastrous two part blog about sex inspire you to mouth off? Don't worry if you are too shy to do it.

    Funny sex blogs were the least read of anything I have written and only got one or two comments. I thought they were funny, bizarre and profound but apparently my readers did not.

    Just do it and enjoy it.

  13. I have no problems writing about sex in poems, but I don't know if I could blog about it, maybe because I am seriously out of practice in writing about sex.

    I was once a really slutty person, but a monogamous one, when I was married to Harvey. I miss sex with him, but I don't know that I miss sex enough to experience it with anyone else. Even myself.

    LA. Tee. DA. Guess I can write about it a little bit.

    WV: Think. Purchasers.

    What generates these things?

  14. Ellen- Let us embrace our porn-seekers! That's what I say.

    Jo- I don't know about the duty part but shit- it's part of life. A big part.

    Taradharma- See- there you go- every situation is different and I think should be addressed. Maybe? And yes, there is nothing like sex to glue the relationship together, to seal and reseal the deal, as it were.

    Rubye Jack- Were I to talk about sex, it would not be in terms of doing this or doing that in bed (or out) but more in attitudes and such. Sex IS embarrassing to some people and that's okay. And ideally, it would be awesome if it were always a sacred act between two people but I have found that life is messier than that. And sloppier, sometimes. And, well, it can all be interesting if viewed without so much judgement. I don't know.
    Your robot comment cracked me up.

    Stephanie- Leave it to you, baby!

    Lucy- Hey! I miss you! I'm so glad to hear your voice. I hope all is well with you.

    Lora- That IS weird. Jesus!
    You know what? I love the way your mind works. I have a crush on you.

    Syd- Why would people freak out? That is my question. Or one of them, at least. Are we not all sexual beings in some way?

    Michele R- Menopause and aging definitely bring change to the subject and the act. No kidding!

    Magnum- Good rules, whatever they are.

    DTG- You are so sensible, my dear boy. I love you so.

    Madame King- I think that poetry about sex is more acceptable than true-life (haha!) prose. It's like we can pretend that poetry isn't the most profoundly intimate and truthful form of art in the entire universe. I SO admire your ability to discuss sex. You do it so fucking well.

    Lo- Yes! Of course you were an influence but I have been thinking about this for a long, long, time.

    Pamela- And see- that is so sad. That with your lover's death, that window slammed shut. But I can see how it would happen. I understand. I think being slutty and monogamous is probably one of the best ways to be.

  15. i wnat your sex----posts!

    no know i write about sex for my living...which is weird since i dont blog much about sex for real...but i do enjoy a good sex long as its intellectuall or funny...i m not good with too porny and too dirty blogs though

    but really..we need more (i hope my choice of word isnt rude) mature people to write about sex...:-)

  16. Danielle- You are so sweet. And hell, yes, I am MATURE! Like an old cheese? Damn. Yes. I am.

  17. HahahahahaaaWHAHAAAAHOOO!

    Sorry. The old cheese thing got to me.

  18. Madame King- Well. Hell. It's true.

  19. Okay, I will do a post on sex. I think that some of my readers freak because they have some weird expectations about me. Dunno--I did use the work fuck on my blog a few months ago and got a comment about that. And then I posted a photo of myself with my bare chest and got a really fucked up comment from someone who totally freaked out--like I'm supposed to be some kind of sanitized dude. Weird shit.

  20. Syd- Hey- are you a man or are you a...sanitized dude?
    Write what you want. It's your blog. Anyone's opinion about you is just that- their opinion.
    People have issues. So what? You have a real life.

  21. carefull with comparing you to old know i m half french...i love cheese..especially mature cheese^^


Tell me, sweeties. Tell me what you think.