Another full day, so full it was like a cow's lovely pink-tipped (I have no idea, I am making this shit up) over-full, un-milked-udder and yes, oh, yes, my mother's mental capacity has slipped but let me ask you this:
How many of YOU can count backwards from a hundred by sevens under pressure?
Well, hell, she did say she'd never seen a rhinoceros before or a picture of one either and I have right here in my house a carved wooden one she got in Africa after she'd seen rhinoceri with her real eyes so, whatever.
It's just so tragic, having to prove you've lost your mind.
And embarrassing. This woman taught school for a million years, PLUS has a Masters degree in education. I mean, really. And she knows she's lost it. But she also knows this means that maybe now the insurance company will pay for her care and boy-oh-boy, that's some weirdness there.
I personally insured that we shall have a spectacular opening night by screwing up as much of the last dress rehearsal as I possibly could tonight. Yes! Thank-you! I meant to do that! It's a tough job, but someone has to do it. I took the onus on myself. I got some of the lines right. Really, I did.
And so it's been a day of failure meaning positive things and let's be aware that this is a possibility. I even failed at getting Owen to take a nap but that probably means that he took one with his very tired papa when he got home from work so good for me! Owen is NOT happy with his Mer right now. I do not know why. He ignores me mostly and when I beg on bended knee for kisses or even a tiny squeezy hug, he pretends not to hear me and actually starts singing sometimes, and next I expect he'll put his fingers in his ears and say, "La-la-la-la, I can't HEAR you."
So yes, I am feeling very good about myself at the moment and my dear friend K. is coming tomorrow for a visit and I'm afraid I'm just going to have to make a big pot of soup to serve him because Owen will be here tomorrow and I won't have time for much of a culinary effort but we'll just call it "peasant fare" and it will be fine. He won't care. Hell, we've been friends for about forty years and I did change the sheets on the bed in the Panther Room so there you go. Mr. Moon will make us up some of his dandy martinis and it'll all be delightful and I'm looking forward to it. Owen can help me make "dough" and in this case, bread dough, and homemade bread will cover a lot of sins.
And now I'm going to go to bed and I am going to TRY and not spend half the night worrying about this stupid tiny thing and THAT tiny stupid thing and just sleep. Just sleep.
I think I might try counting backwards from one hundred by sevens. That's got to be a more peaceful way to get to sleep than trying to recite entire scenes from a play in my head, which is how I have been falling asleep and which obviously does not work either for sleep or memory.
That's the list of words they gave my mother today to see if she could say them back. In that order. See? I am NOT losing my mind.
I can still do it. And if you think that you can go with your mother to get her mental state tested and not try to do the test with her, then you are WRONG! You will do it and you will worry.
100, 93, 86, 79, 72....
Is that right?