Tuesday, February 7, 2012

Failure Can Equal Success!

Another full day, so full it was like a cow's lovely pink-tipped (I have no idea, I am making this shit up) over-full, un-milked-udder and yes, oh, yes, my mother's mental capacity has slipped but let me ask you this:
How many of YOU can count backwards from a hundred by sevens under pressure?
Well, hell, she did say she'd never seen a rhinoceros before or a picture of one either and I have right here in my house a carved wooden one she got in Africa after she'd seen rhinoceri with her real eyes so, whatever.

It's just so tragic, having to prove you've lost your mind.
And embarrassing. This woman taught school for a million years, PLUS has a Masters degree in education. I mean, really. And she knows she's lost it. But she also knows this means that maybe now the insurance company will pay for her care and boy-oh-boy, that's some weirdness there.

I personally insured that we shall have a spectacular opening night by screwing up as much of the last dress rehearsal as I possibly could tonight. Yes! Thank-you! I meant to do that! It's a tough job, but someone has to do it. I took the onus on myself. I got some of the lines right. Really, I did.

And so it's been a day of failure meaning positive things and let's be aware that this is a possibility. I even failed at getting Owen to take a nap but that probably means that he took one with his very tired papa when he got home from work so good for me! Owen is NOT happy with his Mer right now. I do not know why. He ignores me mostly and when I beg on bended knee for kisses or even a tiny squeezy hug, he pretends not to hear me and actually starts singing sometimes, and next I expect he'll put his fingers in his ears and say, "La-la-la-la, I can't HEAR you."

So yes, I am feeling very good about myself at the moment and my dear friend K. is coming tomorrow for a visit and I'm afraid I'm just going to have to make a big pot of soup to serve him because Owen will be here tomorrow and I won't have time for much of a culinary effort but we'll just call it "peasant fare" and it will be fine. He won't care. Hell, we've been friends for about forty years and I did change the sheets on the bed in the Panther Room so there you go. Mr. Moon will make us up some of his dandy martinis and it'll all be delightful and I'm looking forward to it. Owen can help me make "dough" and in this case, bread dough, and homemade bread will cover a lot of sins.

And now I'm going to go to bed and I am going to TRY and not spend half the night worrying about this stupid tiny thing and THAT tiny stupid thing and just sleep. Just sleep.
I think I might try counting backwards from one hundred by sevens. That's got to be a more peaceful way to get to sleep than trying to recite entire scenes from a play in my head, which is how I have been falling asleep and which obviously does not work either for sleep or memory.


That's the list of words they gave my mother today to see if she could say them back. In that order. See? I am NOT losing my mind.
I can still do it. And if you think that you can go with your mother to get her mental state tested and not try to do the test with her, then you are WRONG! You will do it and you will worry.

100, 93, 86, 79, 72....

Is that right?

Night, y'all.

Love...Ms. Moon


  1. You will be wonderful in that play! Breathe and enjoy. I wish I could be there one of these days to see you onstage! That would be a treat.

  2. It aggravates me that one must learn math as a young child only to really "use" it to prove that one is sound of mind or not. Ah, well.

    Relax. You know you're going to do fine. You know it.

  3. We're all rooting for you. Go ahead and be great.

  4. Heartbreaking yet hysterical. (Hysteria-inducing.) Is this just life?

    Fuck me. I did laugh; I thank you.

  5. That is a huge stack of failing feelings... What can I say? I think that Owen is playing you, like little kids do. And dogs. And jobs. They test out the waters on how far they can go, and since you love him so much, of course it worries you. Boundaries Ms Moon, love him but also let him know that you mean business... Or does that sound to harsh towards a grandchild? You could also wait it out to see if it is a phase, but if it isn't then both of you will be screwed if I may say it in french...
    It is sad that your mom has to go through her experiences, it's hard on both of you. I am sure that you will be splendid in the play though... Break a leg and bake your bread and have fun with your friend. Enjoy Mr Moon his martini's. Life will be swell again if you give it some time!

  6. Having royally eff-ed up many a final dress rehearsal myself, I can guarantee you that you have, in fact, ensured a fantastic opening night.

    And of course you know that Owen ignores you because he can, because he knows you'll love him anyway, because he's absolutely safe and happy with you.

    Break a leg in that play, sister.

  7. It's not that I'm glad for your mother's failing mental health. No, that's not it--but I am glad that she will get to stay in her new home. I'm going to work on counting backward by 7s...

  8. No way could I do the 7s thing. Ever. I hope everything works out well... fast. xx

  9. I only got to 93 and then it got hard.

  10. Jesus! It sounds as bad as a sobriety road test... I can't do the alphabet backward sober even. I'm AD/HD baby. WTF. Poor momma, but at least there is the silver lining of not having to worry about her care being taken care of. After all she's done, she deserves that much, and to not have to stress about it. You do too.

    Hope your day went well.

  11. Owen is asserting his will! Wonderful! He probably desperately wants hugs and kisses but also loves that he has the power to not give them. Just watch he doesn't manipulate you into offering other bonuses so you can have that hug. He'll have you around his little finger then! As if he doesn't now....

  12. I've tried, a few times, to memorize the numbers counting back from 100 by 7's but keep forgetting them. This is so I won't have to think so hard the next time they ask me to go counting backwards. Plus, I feel like some sort of genius when I remember the words; when I do that is. Ha.

    Anyway, it's good to hear the insurance will finally kick in for her. One day at a time.

  13. Count backwards from 100 by 7/s are they freaking kidding me? I think 90% of the world would fail. I know I would. But if it gets your mother what she needs, good good good.

    the play! how goes it?

  14. Who comes up with this shit to see if someone is having problems with memory? I mean really. When someone forgets where they bathroom in their own house is I think that should be evidence enough. Seems so cruel to put them through a test to see what they don't know.
    Owen loves you just as much as ever and is confident you love him back. Two year olds love messing with us. :-)

  15. Oh, the test. My mom had to do it, too. She didn't do wonderfully. But she can tell you the plot of the mystery novel she's reading--more or less.

    Opening night!!!!!! So exciting.
    Break a leg. I really wish I could come see it! Field trip to Florida anyone?

  16. I hope that your mother gets to stay in her new home. The whole elderly thing is difficult to deal with. And there are so many more of them now than ever before. Society is not ready to deal with the onslaught of the aging population.


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