Friday, July 3, 2020
In Which Ms. Moon Loses Her Temper
Well, today was a bit different. I learned something about myself that I'm not too proud of.
Or else I am. I don't know. I suppose it just is what it is.
Everything started out fairly normally. I did a few things around here. Packed up some green beans for both May and Jessie and a few jars of pickles for May. Jessie already has some. I went to the Co-op where May's working these days and met Jessie there. When I saw my girl I said, "Turn around." She did and I patted her butt.
"Mama's can do that," she said.
I agreed it was true.
We did a little shopping and giggled and caught up on a few things. Finally we located May and I made her turn around and patted her butt too. I seriously doubt that anyone has gotten covid yet from a pat on a clothed butt. Especially not from a mother.
I know this is silly and maybe even a little creepy too but I can't tell you how wonderful it was, just for a second, to touch those girls, even through their clothes. To make contact with their living, being shapes that came from my own body.
You want to hear something really silly?
I'm tearing up right now, just thinking about it. Lord, how I miss touch.
I found bread flour in bulk and got that and some soybeans and two bags of real, true stone-ground grits. The kind that take an hour to cook and are the only grits worthy to join with shrimp in shrimp-and-grits as far as I'm concerned. I bought some fancy hippie lotion and some Dr. Bronner's citrus-scented hemp soap. Something new for me. I've never even seen that version. It smells delightful. I use diluted Dr. Bronner's in all my foaming soap dispensers. Works great. Cheap too, when you dilute it as much as I do. Says right on the label: "DILUTE, DILUTE, DILUTE!"
And so I do.
We finished our shopping there and reluctantly said good-bye to May. Jessie went off one way, I went another. I had to go to Publix to pick up a prescription and I needed a few things I wasn't going to buy at the Co-op like aluminum foil and parchment paper. I noticed that my brand of coffee was on sale BOGO and while I was searching for bags of my favorite, which is the Italian roast and which must be the favorite of a lot of other people too because they always sell out of that first, I heard a woman behind me addressing a fairly elderly guy who's worked at that Publix forever. He stocks the shelves and Lily told me that he mostly works because his wife died and it gets him out of the house. I've always admired his ability to bend and kneel and get back up. But he's got to be way past seventy and this woman (white, probably in her early fifties, maybe a bit younger) was telling him that he needed to take that mask off every now and then so that he could BREATHE!
She herself must have been having trouble breathing because although she was wearing a mask, as per county order, she was wearing it below her chin.
"They can't force you to wear it," she told him. "You have to be able to breathe."
Not only was she not wearing her mask, she was right up in this man's space. No six-foot distancing for Ms. Breathe. I couldn't believe it. I turned around and said, "Lady! Lady! What are you telling him?"
"I'm just saying that it's his right to take his mask off and breathe. That people can't breathe properly when they're wearing a mask. That it's unhealthy. That they can't force him to wear it."
Now. Actually, Publix employees ARE required to wear masks. For their entire shifts. Does anyone like it? Not especially but the smart ones know why they're wearing it and the ones who aren't so smart still want their jobs.
I got ON this woman. I told her that it was ridiculous to believe you can't breathe wearing a mask and that you don't wear the mask to protect yourself, you wear it to protect others.
"You're wearing yours to protect YOU!" she said.
Stupid AND not psychic.
"How do you think surgeons do it?" I asked her.
"I don't know," she said. "They're a lot younger than us." Then she thought about that. "Well, not all of them."
"They manage just fine wearing masks," I said. "And why do you think they wear them?"
"Because they're forced to!" she sang out triumphantly.
"And why are they forced to?" I asked her and then answered my own damn question- "For their patients' safety."
She acknowledged that this was true but couldn't somehow link that fact to her own "facts" about needing to breathe and masks not really protecting anyone.
And here's where I learned something about myself. At this point I was on fire. This whole argument in the middle of Publix felt so fucking GOOD! My anger felt clean and hot and I wanted to slay her with my words. And I realized that I could easily get crazed enough in my (to me, anyway) righteous anger to actually smack her. And I stopped right there.
Except for yelling at her, "Get a clue! Get a clue!"
And I grabbed the two bags of Italian roast I could find, threw them in my cart and stalked off.
I really showed her, didn't I?
No. No I didn't. She's probably telling someone right now about the crazy old hippie in Publix trying to tell HER about masks. And about how stupid and what a sheep I am.
It reminded me of the time I went back to the dump depot and told off the old man who worked there for saying racist things to a young woman there who, unbeknownst to him, had an adopted African American father. My anger felt hot and clean then, too, even surrounded by the stink and flies of the rotting trash of Lloyd. I could have screamed at that old man. Again, I did not. But I sure got close.
And, like with the woman in Publix, I seriously doubt that the things I said to him that day changed his thinking or outlook one bit. I was doing it for my own sense of self-righteousness. To appease my own anger. The girl I was defending was nowhere around.
Here's another thing I keep thinking about- how that man in Publix whom the woman had been advising to take his mask off and breathe, just stood there, wordless as our words ricocheted around him. At the very least, I was rude to break into a conversation that did not involve me even though yes, I rationalized that it very much did involve me and everyone else in the store.
And I don't even know if that was the "right" way to think or not. Is there a right way? I don't know and I may never know but I sure didn't take a minute to think about it before I lit into the woman.
And honestly, I wish I'd given her hell for standing, maskless, so close to that man.
So that's my little story. Whoo-hoo! I had a small, old white woman tantrum in public, in Publix today. I'm glad Lily wasn't there.
Another day, another reason to hate Trump. I don't have one specifically in mind but I'm sure there are plenty. Another day to watch the covid numbers soar. Another day to think about all the people who are bound and determined to go out and celebrate their freedom in public places in completely unsafe ways. Another day to watch people completely ignore the experts, the doctors, the disease control specialists and to make up their minds about the situation from Fox news and QAnon websites.
When I looked for aluminum foil at Publix they had the short rolls, but not the long ones. I wonder if people bought them all up to make their tinfoil hats with. Because there sure are a lot of people who must be wearing them.
Wish they'd wear masks too.
Hey! Happy Friday, y'all!
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I left a comment and stupid blogger made me sign in again and it was lost. Sigh.ReplyDelete
But I wanted you to know that I wholeheartedly support you putting that idiot in her place! You go, woman!!!!!
Hey, I just posted an article for you to read- yes, we are in this for the long haul and yes, it is our duty to "inform" others of their stupidity! Thank you, hippie woman- sister! I am so glad to know you, so glad you stepped up! Right on, right on, right onReplyDelete
Maybe if we all let people know that their bullshit isn't going unnoticed...Delete
-if someone isn't wearing one i don't because i don't know their situation, however if someone says something stupid about the masks i let it rip but i'm confrontational by nature. and yes, that anger feels *GREAT*. take care and be well. we are hovering between going back to work and being put back on lockdown here in a world where schools are not required to social distance by our governor because she caved to the foil hat brigade.ReplyDelete
That was it- she was just going on and on with complete lies. I could not deal. What is wrong with our leaders?Delete
Good for you!! There are so many "Karen" out there. Have a good weekend :)ReplyDelete
when the anger is crisply and precisely delivered to a person well deserving of it, I say go for it. It will not even phase a clueless and ill-informed person, but at least they heard it from you! And I don't feel we can be silent in the face of flippancy and ignorance. If she even ponders it afterwards....then you have made a difference. Loved your butt pats on your dear girls....... made me smile!ReplyDelete
Enjoy your martini, it IS Friday, isn't it? Who knows?
Even in the midst of all of it I was wishing I had time to order my thoughts but, well, I didn't. I'm sure she thought about it later but completely dismissed everything I had to say.Delete
I DID enjoy my martinis. Thank you.
I am so goddamn proud of you Mary Moon. Why do these stupid people confuse not wearing a mask with their fucking right to bear arms ? You know that’s it. Stupid people will die first. In the name of their american president. I say burn it to the ground!ReplyDelete
They need AK47's to defend themselves and others against mythical threats but refuse to wear a mask to defend themselves and others against a sure and certain possibly fatal virus. I don't get it.Delete
Hell yes! I'm glad you confronted her.ReplyDelete
You inspired me.Delete
Sometimes we just have to do what our heart tells us to. And who knows, maybe a seed or a conversation will be had about the crazy ole hippie lady in Publix... and maybe it will lead to something being learned after all.ReplyDelete
Who knows, Ms. Fleur? And how are you?Delete
That woman deserved more than being yelled at, she could have used a throat punch as well. I'm so sick and fucking tired of stupid and entitled.ReplyDelete
Maybe she'll get COVID.
Just for the record, I think you were restrained.
Sending hugs and love.
One of my reasons for at least some restraint was that Lily works there and I did not want her to be blamed for something her crazy mother did. Or even associated. I actually did think of that.Delete
What everyone else said. Keep it up!ReplyDelete
Well, you know me.ReplyDelete
I do. And love you to pieces.Delete
My son and daughter in law both gave me a hug yesterday...outdoors! Is that OK ? I don't know but it sure felt good! Made me laugh..you patting their " bottoms" as we would say here. XReplyDelete
It is OKAY to hug outdoors. That's what I say. As long as you don't breathe in each other's faces.Delete
You're not shooting anybody, and it's a time of massive tension, fear, grief, frustration... I don't know if it was the right way to do it, but I'm not sure it was the wrong way either!ReplyDelete
That sums it up exactly as to how I feel Jo. I don't know if it was right or wrong but it was what I did.Delete
Nice work! At least you've given that lady something to think about.ReplyDelete
I'm not sure these people think.Delete
You go, girl!! Even if it didn't change her mind, her stupidity did not go unchallenged.ReplyDelete
Very glad you got a little tush pat with some of your DDs.
I did certainly challenge her.Delete
I was so happy to pat my babies. I'm going to start doing that regularly.
How I love your righteous anger. Isn't it crazy that all the people walking around screaming, "My body, my rules" are the same ones who are rabidly deny women dominion over their own bodies when it comes to reproductive choice? Give 'em hell, I say. Your anger wasn't wasted. Maybe that woman heard something in what you said. And if she didn't the malleable universe did.ReplyDelete
Absolutely! And maybe she did hear something. I mean- she understood my point about the surgeons. Oh, who knows? It's interesting to me to find that I have this anger streak inside me. I guess I know it's there but it doesn't come out like that very often.Delete
you did the right thing. these people feel entitled to force themselves on other people who are doing nothing but minding their own business. if it's not about the masks it's telling them to go back where they came from. we all need to speak up and intervene whenever we see this happening. no, we're not going to change them but we can let them know that what they are doing is unacceptable. if they get called out enough maybe they'll stop forcing themselves and their opinions on others and just start minding their own business.ReplyDelete
I agree with that, Ellen. If we all challenge these people and make it less acceptable to say and do such stupid things it would be good. Potentially dangerous and hurtful things too. Just such crap. Such ridiculous crap.Delete
It's amazing how hard people work to come up with reasons NOT to wear a mask. Like, why not err on the side of caution? If there's even the slimmest chance that it helps, why aren't they opting to wear them? I don't get it.ReplyDelete
I'm glad your angry outburst was at least on the side of right, and in defense of someone else. (EVERYONE else, in fact.)
I went shopping today and I was one of about three people in the whole store with a mask!
Right? Hell, don't wear pants. They're not comfortable either and if they're too tight it's hard to breathe in them. What is with people? It's just a mask.Delete
I use the liquid bronners soap the same way and only showe with the citrus soap when I can get it... my son uses it too or it would last me forever! I totally get the temper flair. I just have to keep my mouth shut because when I let the mad out I cry, turn red, and lose my voice. I held my mom's hand a couple weeks ago and felt guilty, even though I washed first. That's the only touch we've done in months now.... Can this all be over now plz? I'll be good...ReplyDelete
"I'll be good..."Delete
I hear you. We've been sent to our room and we won't get out until our stupid siblings start obeying the rules.
It is really okay to cry and turn red and lose your voice. People need to know that some of us feel very strongly about these issues. There's a time and a place for politeness and there's a time and a place to forget being polite.
And I'm really glad you held your mom's hand. That breaks my heart.
Oh well done!ReplyDelete
OH dear, this rang a bell with me. I'm so angry and threatened and scared and disapproving by the way things are going here politically, that I sometimes feel just the same as you describe...ReplyDelete