Monday, February 11, 2019

You'll Find No Household Tips Here


This morning as I was doing something utterly useless online, Dearie came onto the porch for her morning ritual of trying to figure out where to lay her egg and how to get into that space and sometimes sitting for awhile and then leaving and then coming back and so forth and while she was just walking about she jumped up on the table to stare at me.
I haven't fed her on the porch in months and I completely got the feeling she was just coming to check me out and say hello. Which was fine with me. She's such a sweet and bold bird. She's been laying her eggs in the paper bag with the shallots in it and that's what she did today, too.


I love that chicken. 

So I actually drove down to White House Road for my walk today and it went well. I didn't walk so far but my pace was quite good. Unless my Map My Walk App is wonky which is always a possibility. But I was glad to have done that and then I spent about forty-eight hundred hours trying to clean the hard water spots off of my glass shower door. 
Not really but honestly, that's been like one of my hobbies lately- trying to clean that door.
I've googled the problem and nothing all the experts recommend has worked for me. Today I sunk to the level of attempting to do it using toothpaste and then vinegar and no, that didn't work either. 
Fuck it. 
I ain't Martha Stewart who no doubt has an entire household staff to deal with that sort of shit and if her shower doors become uncleanable she can just buy some new ones, have them delivered and installed. 
Problem solved. 
For Martha. 
I really don't have any problems with Martha Stewart. She handled her jail time with a great deal of grace if you ask me, she seems to love her chickens, and besides that (and most importantly) she is friends with Snoop Dogg and if I envy her for anything it's that and that alone. 

What the hell am I talking about?
I have no idea.

So tonight I'm going to cook another NYT's recipe, this one for orecchiette with cherry tomatoes and arugula although I have no orecchiette and will just use some sort of pasta that I have in the cabinet. I sure do have arugula though. Finally my greens are at least plentiful enough for regular salads and we have been enjoying that so much. Last night I made a salad of mixed greens and blueberries and apples and strawberries and toasted pecans and blue cheese with a sort of sesame, tamari, ginger dressing. 
Was it good?
Does Martha Stewart sleep on ten billion thread count sheets made by blind nuns in a cave in Provence every night?
Amen, mama. 

I do have to say that the arugula is already bolting and dammit, I am NOT ready for summer. I came back from my walk sweating today. The violets are blooming, the Ashe magnolia has put on its little green velvet gloves, ferns are busting up light green through the dirt, the Japanese magnolias are blooming, and yes, as we speak the frogs are deafening. They want love and they want it now. 
Y'all! I don't want to put the duck away yet. I don't want to have to turn on the AC. I'm not tired yet of my Goodwill cashmere. 

Well, what I want has nothing to do with what is and that's just a fact, sad as it may be. 

Okay, for your viewing pleasure I give you this. 


I'd apologize for posting it before if I have but I won't because it's funny enough to watch twice.
I sure wish I could have Mr. Dogg over for a meal. I may not be Martha Stewart but I feel certain that he and I could be friends.
In my dreams.

Love...Ms. Moon

38 comments:

  1. If you use the dry Bar Keeper’s Friend, with just a little water added to make a paste, and use a whole lot of elbow grease, and don’t mind standing in the shower itself to rinse the stuff down and taking forever to do it, you can get the water spots off of shower glass. To me it’s not worth the time and effort, but i have a client who likes her shower doors sparkling (she could be Martha’s long lost sister).

    To me it’s easier to get frosted shower glass and not worry about the spots, or leave the spots and let them build up until they are almost like a privacy curtain.

    If you do take the time to get your shower glass doors totally clean again, do yourself a favor and go buy a good squeegee and squeegee them off well after every shower. It’s much easier to keep them clean than to get them clean (and Martha’s sister won’t do that, i wish she would).

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. No way. That's too much work. I did see Bar Tender's Friend offered as a suggestion and I'm glad to hear it works and maybe someday when I'm bored out of my mind I'll try it.
      Maybe.

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  2. I'm still laughing after Snoop Dog...

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  3. can you use LCR? we use that a lot!

    xxalainaxx

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  4. That video is crazy! Thank you for posting it. I'm so impressed by your walking -- you are an inspiration, as always.

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    Replies
    1. Lately my walking is in no way an inspiration for anyone but I intend to pick up the pace.
      Haha.
      There are more Snoop Dogg narrated nature films. They're all hysterical.

      Delete
  5. I had to look arugula up......it seems it is what we call rocket here in UK. I love it.....sort of peppery!

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  6. Great header picture of you and Mr Moon and a chicken. So lifelike. I had no idea that you are friends with Vladislav Erko. Keep on walking before the sweltering heat returns. As you know it is good for you.

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    Replies
    1. Good advice, Mr. P.
      And oh yes, we've known Vladislav since he was in short pants. We're very proud he chose to paint us. And our hen. And mouse.

      Delete
  7. Snoop would love you! Just imagining made me laugh.

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    Replies
    1. Well, I'm not as cool as Martha Stewart and certainly not as rich and he already has her so I don't know. But I'd like to think he would. I'd love to cook him a meal.

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  8. I hate to do it but when nothing else works I resort to oven cleaner (spray can). It's a bugger of a cleaner (totally not 'green') and you don't want to breath it in or get it on your skin (wear gloves) but oh boy, does it clean (and without any scrubbing)!

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    Replies
    1. Oh god no. I can't stand the way that stuff smells. Isn't it like pure lye or something? But thanks for the tip. I suppose if I ever get truly desperate I'll buy some oven cleaner.

      Delete
  9. In a spray bottle, mix half white vinegar and dawn, shake up well then spray on & let it set for an hour.... & rinse off.

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    Replies
    1. Dawn? What's that? You mean you have to do the cleaning job at dawn?

      Delete
    2. Unknown: Tried it. Didn't work for me. Dammit. I SO wanted it to.

      Mr. P: Yes. It's a witch thing. It's part of shower door cleaning spell.

      Delete
  10. Snoop Dog's lizard set my heart racing. Probably good for me, since I can't give up the goose yet, or turn down the thermostat, or eat garden salad.

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  11. You baby boomers are literally the most evil generation to ever exist. You are all psychopaths. You destroyed your own children's future, destroyed the economy, and then you sit back and laugh smugly about it. I hope you boomers enjoy the retirement homes! LOL!!! I guess what I'm really trying to say is, can you baby boomers hurry up and fucking drop dead already?

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    Replies
    1. Anonymous trolls should hurry up and fucking drop dead already.

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    2. right? cowardly little asswipe.

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    3. Bleh, delete delete delete.

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    4. Be patient, Anonymous. At some point every one of us evil baby boomers will indeed have dropped dead. It's just inevitable.

      Delete
  12. Don't quote me on it but this is what I did in my Martha Stewart disguise:

    I asked a strong man to dismantle the glass panels of the shower and then I put the panels flat into a paddling pool that was kind of the right size and then I soaked the bastards for about an eternity in vinegar essence. Not vinegar but vinegar essence. And after about a couple of days eternity I rinsed the stuff off with a hose and all the water stains were gone. I swear.

    I then instructed every family member in the use of a squeegee and had two installed inside the shower - I also threatened serious consequences should I find drops on the panels after someone had taken a shower.
    It works. But some of my people are now afraid of me.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. This is an epic saga of shower door cleaning. Very impressive!

      Delete
    2. SERIOUSLY!
      What is vinegar essence? I have tried using "cleaning" vinegar which I suppose is just a stronger version of the regular stuff. Not for salads. It seems to have no effect but then again, I have never REMOVED MY SHOWER DOORS AND SOAKED THEM FOR AN ETERNITY! I can see why some of your people are afraid of you. I sort of am now too.

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    3. OK I admit that this was done when the bathroom was renovated and the shower panels come off easily. I was much younger then too.

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    4. That makes me feel a lot better.

      Delete
  13. when the teacup is empty, the birds will come and peer in and give me the stink eye...hey! it's empty! spring here too. everything is coming out or blooming.way too early. I'm cutting back roses today.

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    Replies
    1. I need to cut my roses back too. I did two of them a few months ago and weeded their bed and mulched it with hay from the chicken nests and it looks so good now. Thick new green growth. I have to step up my yard game. I am falling WAY behind.

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  14. LCR is really CLR- we use it to get the rust stains out of stuff and to bomb out the coffee maker...

    xxalainaxx

    https://clrbrands.com/Products/CLR-Household/CLR-Bath-Kitchen-Cleaner

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  15. You may not have household tips but your generous commenters sure do!

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  16. What a sweet photo of Dearie. I love her too.

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  17. So nice to find someone else who loves Snoop. I have always enjoyed him and people ask me why? I don't know, I just do !! Loved the nature video and yes, I think I could be great friends with him too.

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Tell me, sweeties. Tell me what you think.