Tuesday, December 4, 2018
Why I Need Eyeshadow
I just don't have it in me tonight.
My life seems pathetic and small, the same two songs repeating endlessly on Hell's iPod.
I felt okay this morning. I took a small but decent walk and got things done around here and then decided to go to town to shop for make-up.
Yeah. I know.
But it's sort of part of my ritual before I go to Cozumel. I like to put on make-up every night when we go out and when I say "make-up" I mostly mean eye make-up because I'm under no illusions or delusions that anything I put on my face is going to change much in the way I look. I just like decorating my eyes, I guess. I distinctly remember the first time we visited the island and I bought some lovely water-proof eyeshadow that came in pencil form, blues and teals, and I loved it. It was all part of the experience, somehow, even though there is not much glamorous about Cozumel and it was far less so then. A diver's destination with a few very loud and very hot and very fun bars and some wonderful restaurants but not a whole lot more. Well, of course there were the ruins and the lighthouse and yes, a disco. I think there were actually two discos but I only ever went to one.
Ay! It was wonderful!
So much dancing.
But back to today.
First I went and bought a new pair of walking shoes because the ones I've been using simply are not adequate. They are very comfortable but offer no real support or cushioning. I might as well be walking barefoot. So. Got those.
Then I went to one of those cosmetic places that's spread out in maybe a quarter of an airplane-hanger-sized store where you can not only buy products but also get make-overs AND/OR get your hair cut and I drifted around, looking for just one beautiful eyeshadow palette compact with blues and greens and golds and silvers and pale, pale blue.
Almost everything I found was "neutrals."
WTF? If you're going to put stuff on your eyelids, why use neutral shades? My eyelids already are neutral shades.
I wonder where Brenda gets her eyeshadow. She is my make-up hero. She is not afraid of color or of glitter and I love her for that.
Yesterday before I went to Costco I tried to start getting in the swing of things by doing a little eyeliner and shadow and August asked me where I got my blue eyes. I told him that I'd put on some make-up.
"Why?" he asked. Of course.
"Because I wanted to look pretty. Does it look pretty?"
"Yes," he said.
"Thank-you," I said.
It says a lot about me that a compliment which was practically coerced from a three-year old made me feel good.
But it did.
Anyway, I didn't buy a damn thing at the cosmetic place although I did spray a little Chanel Gabrielle on my wrist as I walked out for no apparent reason. I like it. I've been sniffing my arm all afternoon and it still smells nice.
I might actually buy some of that.
Goodness. What has happened to Ms. Moon?
Nothing. Nothing at all.
I just like being a little bit different in Mexico. And I am.
For two weeks I do not lift a finger.
I do not cook or clean or do laundry. I do not garden or do yard work or chicken-tend nor even fill up a cat-food bowl although I will admit that I do give treats to the hotel cat, Bagheera. I love giving Bagheera bits of fish we've brought home from restaurants or cheese that we buy at the grocery store. Because we do shop. I love to shop at the Mexican grocery stores and at the Mercado. We always buy yogurt drinks and mangoes and cheese and crackers and avocados and cookies.
And beer and rum and Coca Cola and limes.
Beyond this, I am not in charge of any household duties. I am not responsible for anyone or anything except for my own self. My husband is in charge of driving, of getting the ice for our sunset drinks, for dealing with all of the money situations. He pays the tabs, he exchanges dollars for pesos, he leaves the tips.
And in turn, I am his girlfriend, his wife, his love. I dress up for supper. I put on make-up and my silver jewelry, much of it which I have bought in our thirty-one years of visits. I can be silly and foolish and ridiculous. I can weep over sunsets and the perfect guacamole and the colors of the water and the sweetness of the people and how much I love my husband.
So. That's why I wanted some new eyeshadow.
I guess I managed to find something to write about, even if it was only make-up.
Time to figure out supper. And when I say "figure out" I mean what I'm going to cook. In sixteen days that will mean "where shall we dine tonight?"
I still can't believe it.