Tuesday, December 4, 2018
Why I Need Eyeshadow
I just don't have it in me tonight.
My life seems pathetic and small, the same two songs repeating endlessly on Hell's iPod.
I felt okay this morning. I took a small but decent walk and got things done around here and then decided to go to town to shop for make-up.
Yeah. I know.
But it's sort of part of my ritual before I go to Cozumel. I like to put on make-up every night when we go out and when I say "make-up" I mostly mean eye make-up because I'm under no illusions or delusions that anything I put on my face is going to change much in the way I look. I just like decorating my eyes, I guess. I distinctly remember the first time we visited the island and I bought some lovely water-proof eyeshadow that came in pencil form, blues and teals, and I loved it. It was all part of the experience, somehow, even though there is not much glamorous about Cozumel and it was far less so then. A diver's destination with a few very loud and very hot and very fun bars and some wonderful restaurants but not a whole lot more. Well, of course there were the ruins and the lighthouse and yes, a disco. I think there were actually two discos but I only ever went to one.
Ay! It was wonderful!
So much dancing.
But back to today.
First I went and bought a new pair of walking shoes because the ones I've been using simply are not adequate. They are very comfortable but offer no real support or cushioning. I might as well be walking barefoot. So. Got those.
Then I went to one of those cosmetic places that's spread out in maybe a quarter of an airplane-hanger-sized store where you can not only buy products but also get make-overs AND/OR get your hair cut and I drifted around, looking for just one beautiful eyeshadow palette compact with blues and greens and golds and silvers and pale, pale blue.
Almost everything I found was "neutrals."
WTF? If you're going to put stuff on your eyelids, why use neutral shades? My eyelids already are neutral shades.
I wonder where Brenda gets her eyeshadow. She is my make-up hero. She is not afraid of color or of glitter and I love her for that.
Yesterday before I went to Costco I tried to start getting in the swing of things by doing a little eyeliner and shadow and August asked me where I got my blue eyes. I told him that I'd put on some make-up.
"Why?" he asked. Of course.
"Because I wanted to look pretty. Does it look pretty?"
"Yes," he said.
"Thank-you," I said.
It says a lot about me that a compliment which was practically coerced from a three-year old made me feel good.
But it did.
Anyway, I didn't buy a damn thing at the cosmetic place although I did spray a little Chanel Gabrielle on my wrist as I walked out for no apparent reason. I like it. I've been sniffing my arm all afternoon and it still smells nice.
I might actually buy some of that.
Goodness. What has happened to Ms. Moon?
Nothing. Nothing at all.
I just like being a little bit different in Mexico. And I am.
For two weeks I do not lift a finger.
I do not cook or clean or do laundry. I do not garden or do yard work or chicken-tend nor even fill up a cat-food bowl although I will admit that I do give treats to the hotel cat, Bagheera. I love giving Bagheera bits of fish we've brought home from restaurants or cheese that we buy at the grocery store. Because we do shop. I love to shop at the Mexican grocery stores and at the Mercado. We always buy yogurt drinks and mangoes and cheese and crackers and avocados and cookies.
And beer and rum and Coca Cola and limes.
Beyond this, I am not in charge of any household duties. I am not responsible for anyone or anything except for my own self. My husband is in charge of driving, of getting the ice for our sunset drinks, for dealing with all of the money situations. He pays the tabs, he exchanges dollars for pesos, he leaves the tips.
And in turn, I am his girlfriend, his wife, his love. I dress up for supper. I put on make-up and my silver jewelry, much of it which I have bought in our thirty-one years of visits. I can be silly and foolish and ridiculous. I can weep over sunsets and the perfect guacamole and the colors of the water and the sweetness of the people and how much I love my husband.
So. That's why I wanted some new eyeshadow.
I guess I managed to find something to write about, even if it was only make-up.
Time to figure out supper. And when I say "figure out" I mean what I'm going to cook. In sixteen days that will mean "where shall we dine tonight?"
I still can't believe it.
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Your life, pathetic and small? It sure doesn't look that way from here. It looks like a kind of paradise and you make it seem so rich by the way you look at things and describe them. -KateReplyDelete
Well, I guess it is a kind of paradise. For me, at least. I don't know how many people would agree with that but it works for me.Delete
Your life is neither pathetic or small, although I feel the same way at times. I imagine most people feel like that at times. I rarely wear makeup either but we have our Christmas party this Friday so I'll put some on my eyelids which droop now, and of course that's so attractive.ReplyDelete
Cozumel sounds lovely and a holiday from everything sounds lovely. We have a Bagheera as well. Small world.
Hope you have a good sleep. Take care woman.
My eyelids droop as well. And oh, let's not talk about other things which droop.Delete
Lord. Gravity will have its way with us, won't it?
Put some glitter on those eyelids and just go with it. Okay? And I'll do the same in Cozumel.
Give your Bagheera a little kiss from me.
I kind of do the same thing when we spend a few months in Florida (we'll be on the Gulf Coast in ten days!). I wear blue eyeshadow, get my hair cut short and spiky and put gel in it, and gorge on fresh boiled shrimp every chance I get. I know how you love Cozumel, and I'm sharing your anticipation.ReplyDelete
So it's not just me! I love that. And fresh boiled shrimp is eyeshadow-worthy! I'm glad you'll be back to the Gulf soon.Delete
Water is everything.
Cozumel sounds like paradise or close to it, all that relaxation, no chores, and chance to use your new palate of eye makeup. Sounds fun.ReplyDelete
It IS fun. If I believed in heaven, it would be Cozumel. And I love how my husband and I always just have the very best time, even as we spend every moment of the day and night together for two weeks. Sometimes I think that our visits there are one of the main reasons we have stayed in love for all of these years.Delete
I would never call your life small. It isn't pathetic either. You have a wonderful family and some wonderful times and adventures. The richness of your writing brings them to life for others.ReplyDelete
Oh, e! Thank you. I guess that when I am feeling pathetic and small, my life feels that way too. I know it's really not. But my Lord! How boring I must seem at times!Delete
because of you, I want tp go to Cozumel and maybe I will someday.ReplyDelete
love you, woman
I wish you could go there thirty years ago!Delete
Maybe you would love Isla Mujeres which I hear is more like Cozumel was back in the days before cruise ships started using it as a port. I know for sure you would love the people and the water and the amazing, holy sunsets.
But. Cozumel was sacred to the Maya for the worship of their main goddess, Ixchel. And I fell in love with her hard my first visit and still am in love with her. Goddess of the moon and childbirth and weaving. And more. She is our lady.
we were talking about Cozumel the other day trying to remember how long it's been since we went.ReplyDelete
"Too long" is the answer to that question.Delete
Cozumel sounds lovely, and such a nice tradition for you, of course you need that waterproof eyeshadow so you can have tears over grand sunsets and how wonderful your not small at all life is! Enjoy the beejaybers out of every moment!ReplyDelete
I will! I will! I promise!Delete
Pathetic and small? No, no, no. You have a beautiful life even if anxiety tells you otherwise sometimes. And you are very loved, too.ReplyDelete
Thank you, Jennifer. I do so appreciate those sweet words.Delete
I'm with you -- what's the point of eye shadow if it's going to be neutral? I imagine RuPaul would have a lot to say about THAT.ReplyDelete
I thought you weren't staying at the same place where Bagheera lives? Weren't they full, or did you get a room there after all? Maybe I missed something!
What I would not give for RuPaul make-over! Damn!Delete
Yes! We got a room at Blue Angel! You know how happy Bagheera will be to see us!
I looked upReplyDelete
cozumel, to see if it was within reach,it is not. I am so jealous of your upcoming trip, your eye shadow, your three year old and your chickens
-and of your ability to walk a distnce
1 well done you, on all counts
What do you mean it's not within reach? It's got an airport! You could do it, woman!Delete
I am lucky. I know that. With all of my heart.
you do not have a small life, my darling mary. you have a very big one, and people come here to be a part of it, because it is beautiful and real and wise and sometimes profane. i love this post, every single word except pathetic and small; i absolutely love your eyeshadow odyssey, and may you locate the perfect palette of blues before you travel, but even if you don't, even if you end up packing your glitter from years past, you will be beautiful because you are beautiful, and that compliment from august did not seem coerced to me, because i've discerned that august does not respond to coercion, he tells his truth as he sees it! and his mer is beautiful.ReplyDelete
Oh, my sweet sister! I love you so much. You understand me in such profound ways.Delete
I so look forward to your holidays in Cozumel....vicarious thrills for me. Eye shadow, silver bangles, comfortable and flowing dresses.....relaxation and beauty, calm, and love everywhere. So thrilled for you and Mr Moon.....I can't wait! LOL!ReplyDelete
I will share as much as possible! I promise!Delete
Cozumel sounds like a blissful holiday destination. Are you going to be there over the Christmas holiday period?ReplyDelete
Oh, yes, Mr. P.! We will indeed be there over the holidays. You, being rather newish here, have no idea how much I detest Christmas so Christmas and New Year's in Mexico is perfect and wonderful for me. Snorkeling on Christmas day? Yes, thank-you! But I do enjoy watching from a distance the celebration of it all in a foreign country.Delete
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