"What?" He's saying. I'm just playing with my stuff here. You mind?
Oh. My Owen. I walked into the kitchen and he began to grin at me.
"Your grandmama's here," said Lily. She was holding that boy. Or maybe she said, "The Crazy Chicken Grandma's here."
Whatever. Didn't matter to me.
In the little over an hour that I was there we played on the blanket, doing patty cake and touch-the-toes-to-the-nose and he talked to me. He's so serious when he talks. He forms his words carefully and lets them out in a string of sounds which sound very, very serious. He waits for me to reply.
"What?" I ask him. "What are you telling me?"
He looks off into the distance as if to say, Oh Lord. These Bigs are so retarded.
His first tooth is almost through. He chews on his hands and my hands and a clean diaper and anything he can get in that mouth of his. He doesn't seem too upset by the whole process, as if he were just going through it and knew it was going to happen and whatever.
I changed his diaper twice and blew on his belly. He loves being naked. Loves it. As all children do.
And we danced. I took Lily her copy of Lis's CD and she put it on and we danced, me and the O-Boy. The last song on the album is called Time and it's my very favorite.
"This is the sound life makes," sings Lis, "Like the first breath a baby takes. When it's born."
And I cried, holding that boy in my arms while Lis sang.
I called her on my way to Monticello and left a message on her answering machine. "I danced with Owen to your album and it was one of the highlights of my life and I cried."
She left an message on my answering machine.
"You made ME cry."
Yeah. We crone-ish women. We cry all the fucking time. You know why? Because we know how precious each precious moment is. We don't have time to waste on panty-waist emotions. Dancing with your grandchild to the album your heart-friend made? Reason to cry.
Which brings me to the play we're doing now. Our first real rehearsal went really well. Kathleen has got this director shit DOWN! She's thought about it. She knows where she wants us to be when we say our lines. She is ready. I am so impressed but not in the least surprised.
And it's going to be funny. But in a way, it's not that funny because part of the humor comes from men accidentally taking a drug which causes them to experience menopausal symptoms including crying for no apparent reason. But we women don't cry for no reason at all. The reasons may not be readily apparent, but they are real. Things TOUCH us. They make us cry. But what the hell? It'll be funny in the play and there is nothing in the world I love more than making people laugh. It also occurred to me as we were blocking the first act and Colin was lying on top of me that I haven't had another man lay on top of me since Mr. Moon and I got together in 1983!
But I do have to say that if I MUST have another man laying on top of me, even in service of The Theatre! I am glad it is Colin.
I remember back when I was going to that therapist last year and she said, "Oh my! You are a writer- the way you speak! You need an outlet for that!"
And I said, "Oh well. I do. I have this blog..."
And then she said, "And you are an actress! Your voice! You need an outlet for that!"
And I said, "Well, I do. I act in plays in Monticello."
And she said, "And you need to nurture!" and I said, "Well, I have chickens and I'm about to get a grandchild."
And that was the last time I needed to see HER.
Anyway. That's what my Sunday turned into. The trifecta of what-I-need.
Not to mention the little organic chicken in the oven (oh Lord- I can't believe I can still eat chicken) stuffed with a dressing I made of homemade bread, homemade cornbread, onions and celery, and a cozy house and a sweet husband.
Phew. Made it through another Sunday.
Did you?
I did. And I hate Sundays with a passion. Worst day of the week.
ReplyDeleteI did. I made it through another Sunday, cleaned the house, took down Christmas, yelled at the boys to cut it out about a million times but most of all read you and saw those adorable pictures of Owen. Thank you, Ms. Moon!
ReplyDeleteBest post ever, Mss M.
ReplyDeleteAnd Owen looks like an evil genius there, ready to take over the world with his giant portable computer-walker. 'The same thing we do every night, Pinky!'
Reading this is just sweet torture. I love it, and I'm so happy for you, but GOD I wish my mother had been able to play with her grandchildren. I'm glad I get to watch you do it.
PS. I fucking LOVE sundays right now. I convinced myself today was monday and thought I had a whole day less to get my work finished in. Whee!
ReplyDeleteAlmost (made it through). This helped. Was about to go do my "exercises" when I thought, I wonder if Ms Moon is back from her rehersal and decided to have a check first. Okay maybe that's weird. But who cares. So now I'm off to do them with a smile on my face, esp from the part with your therapist!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
ReplyDeleteOh, we've made it through another Sunday, but it is always a hard day. The kids are bored, I am not eager to go back to work, and its usually a day filled with laundry and other dreary tasks. Day of rest, my ass.
ReplyDeleteBut your story of a Sunday well spent is lovely and full of hope and promise.
I cleaned my room.
ReplyDeleteI would much rather be listening to Lis and playing with Owen though!
Glad your day picked up. If you change your mind about doing a Shamanic Sundays Exorcism and Reframing ritual... Say the word! I'm here with my smudge and crystals anytime for you baby.
I hauled all my empty boxes to the recycling bins and even though my hands literally froze in the process, I'm glad because it was the very last thing. I'm done. Settled.
ReplyDeleteWill you maybe teach me how to make stuffing?
love. SJ
My Sunday was...okay. Paul worked. I moped, a bit. But you already read about that.
ReplyDeleteI'm crying more, too. Today, I heard a group of children singing, and it gets me, every time.
I did. One breath, one chunk at a time.
ReplyDeleteOh, and that Owen! Oh, goodness! The pictures and your description makes me think of my Sam. We used to joke about how it was obvious he was born knowing everything we had yet to learn. So precious, your Owen! Thank you for sharing him.
Like there was any doubt that Kathleen wouldn't be a great director?? I'm glad you guys and gals are having fun with it. I'm really looking forward to seeing this one, but nowhere near as much as returning to the stage there.
ReplyDeleteThat first picture is priceless. What a face.
ReplyDeleteI did make it through the Sunday, but with a couple of naps and a lot of tv. And I cut my husband's hair.
Hello me luv. Yes! Made it through the Sunday in a most catatonic state. I was going to go into the girlie room with flippers and flame-throwers and really whip that place into shape but ended up on the sofa watching television, kind-of, and making ribbon flowers. A perfectly mindless and delightful task because of the new crystals I'm encrusting them with right now. Our call was a highlight of my day. These pictures are great! I love the captions. :) Mary, I can't WAIT to see your new play. Love you dear. Kisses and hugs! Lizzie xo xo
ReplyDeleteWe too made it through the day; it was hard, but by snuggling up on the couch for most of the day with various kids and dogs and cats, we made it. It has been a really long school vacation and we are all ready for the real world again!
ReplyDeleteOh, I loved the paragraph about your visit to the therapist and how you didn't need her! Loved it!
ReplyDeleteYesterday Sunday was the worst. Didn't want my few days off to be over. I have to leave for work in a few minutes and am still in my robe.
Well I barely made it through. I have never been able to figure out why Sundays are so depressing but I know they are and I dread it. Had to go back to work today after being off for over a week and it was hard. My grandchildren will be staying with me starting tomorrow until Saturday while their parents are out of town so that will keep me busy! The pictures of Owen are so adorable.
ReplyDeleteOwen is such a big boy! He seems So Strong.
ReplyDeleteWe were pretty much snowed in on sunday (or I like to pretend we were...it was just too blasted cold outside to go anywhere).
We watched movies and played with the baby all day.
it had it's ups and downs. I'm looking forward to the back to routine of today. Well almost routine. Daughter and friend head back to Michigan this afternoon, son has another week off.
ReplyDeleteBut three went out the door... all the laundry is done and put away. In our world, that's huge.
Great words and pictures. Great you!
I did make it through my Sunday. Barely, and with the help of a nap and booze. I am so over winter!
ReplyDeleteAunt Becky- I think we all agree on that.
ReplyDeleteElizabeth- Glad to help!
Jo- Girl. You need to get your new calender up.
But seriously, I know what you mean about your mama. She would have been a great and wonderful grandmother. I feel SO blessed to be in the same area as Owen, to get to know and be with him so often.
Bethany- Plus, that therapist's shoes were too expensive. They intimidated the shit out of me.
Rachel- Yeah. Day of rest. Right.
Ms. Fleur- Good for you on the room. It does help to get something accomplished, doesn't it?
SJ- Good for you on being settled! I'm sure that feels great. Stuffing? Oh my word. I make the world's most prosaic stuffing. But sure, I'll tell you how I do it if you want me to.
Nancy- Well, welcome to my world. Crying is what I seem to do best these days.
Ms. Trouble- We love our wise babies.
Jon- This one is really going to be ridiculously fun. Wish you were joining us!
Mwa- Mr. Moon always wants me to help him cut his hair which makes me cry. I suck at it so bad.
Lizzie- I can't wait to see your new crystal-encrusted flowers! Flame thrower and flippers- Ha! I love you so much. You needed to rest. My Lord!
Kori- Yep. There comes a time when real life is an attractive prospect.
Michele R- I hope you made it in on time. Dressed. Not in a robe.
Lois- You sure are going to be busy! I hope you have fun with those young'uns.
Erin- And that's not a bad day.
Deb- That sounds pretty huge to me.
The Dish- I hear you.
I hope I'm a heart-friend, too. Otherwise, I'm going to be jealous goddammit.
ReplyDelete"But we women don't cry for no reason at all. The reasons may not be readily apparent, but they are real. Things TOUCH us. They make us cry."
ReplyDeleteAmen. Amen. Amen.
Ms. Bastard- Do you even need to ask? NO YOU DO NOT! Glad you're back, girl. We've missed you so.
ReplyDeleteSteph- Yep.
Ms. Moon, I actually found myself tearing as I read about your dance with Owen! Damn flu is making me soft. Hold on to those precious memories.
ReplyDeleteMs. Moon, little Owen looks too adorable with his chubby cheeks and big round eyes. How lucky he is to have such a lovely and loving grandma.
ReplyDeleteWe crone-ish women. We cry all the fucking time. You know why? Because we know how precious each precious moment is. We don't have time to waste on panty-waist emotions.
ReplyDeleteAMEN to that, and bless your heart, thank you for sharing!
How funny is his talking? I'm pretty sure he's telling jokes.
ReplyDeleteFunny, great pics.
ReplyDeleteAlthough I doubt he used that particular word about the bigs.
He's too clever for that.
Wonderful post. I swear grandma's always know what a baby is trying to get across more than anyone else. In fact I used to be grateful when I said something wrong, that my grandmother misinterpreted to save my ass and relieved I could say " Yeah, that's what I meant."
ReplyDeletexoxox charlie
Mel- And I'm writing them down here which means (hopefully) they'll always be around.
ReplyDeleteFeel better, honey!
Angie- I keep threatening to eat him, one finger at a time.
Mary- We know the damn truth.
DTG- And he's pissed we don't get them.
Daddy X- Hmmmm. You could be right.
I'm probably mis-translating.
Charlie- That's so sweet. I hope I can do that for Owen.