I totally ripped this off from Sarcastic Bastard, whom I adore. Plus, I left the comment on one of her posts. What would I do without Ms. Bastard?
Honestly, I think my great and neurotic fear of all things medical comes from those damn penicillin shots we got in the butt EVERY TIME WE WENT TO THE DOCTOR AS A CHILD! Got the flu? Pull down your pants. Got a cold? Pull down your pants. Got a broken arm? Pull down your pants.
And has anyone ever connected the words penis and penicillian? Huh? HUH?!
Sorry. Glad you're feeling better, love. Don't mind me. I'm just a little crazy today.
I never thought about that before, but now it is all starting to make sense. Once when I was in the third grade, I had pneumonia and every day for 3 weeks my stepmother dragged me down to old Dr. McKay's office for a shot. I hated that man. He even had segregated waiting rooms in his office. No wonder I suffer from health anxiety!
ReplyDeleteNow it's the opposite, they won't let you have antibiotics until you're pretty much dead and don't want to live anymore.
ReplyDeleteLois, there's so much in your comment that makes me shake my head!
ReplyDeleteMs. Moon, I just used POT LIQUOR. This is a term I heard from you - so I froze some, and just used it, and feel somehow morally righteous and southern for it. Now if I just had some cornbread, and wasn't eating it in a Moroccan dish, and had eaten grits for breakfast, maybe my Yankeeness wouldn't be so glaring. But thanks for your help in passing. :)
Lois- And then there were the FLU SHOTS! Jesus. They gave shots for everything. Three weeks of daily shots as a child? Poor, poor baby-girl Lois. I mean that, too.
ReplyDeleteRachel- Yeah. And those damn shots are the reason.
Nola- Ha! I'm proud of you. And southern cooking is all about many cultures- so all is well.
Good one! No, somehow I didn't associate penis and penicillin but did notice that therapist spells the rapist.
ReplyDeleteMs. Moon! You've never had a man tell you he'll make you feel better with a shot of penis-cillin!?!? Or are the men YOU know much less lame?
ReplyDeleteYou know that stuff is thick, man! And it hurts like hell when they start pushing it in. Penicillin, I mean.
Joy- I have noticed that one too.
ReplyDeleteMs. Trouble- No, amazingly I have not heard that one. Thank goodness! But you cracked me up! Because yes, that stuff IS thick!
if only my doctor DID have segregated waiting rooms- the middle of winter, a fear of fresh air, a tiny room and a 1980s airconditioner set to lukewarm, moisty heat...it's all so WRONG....
ReplyDeletejust as an aside, he (local doctor) is a bullfighting fan and has a stack of graphic bullfighting magazines in the waiting room. severed ear, blood on sand, while you're waiting for some nasty probe...
Screamish- All I can say to that is...oh my.
ReplyDeleteMs. Moon,
ReplyDeleteYou may steal my shit anytime. Anytime.
You are my idol.
Love, SB.
I called our doctor 'the shot doctor'. I quickly learned not to feign illness because my mother dragged me to the doc and I got stuck in the butt!
ReplyDelete