Tuesday, May 11, 2021

Warning: Profanity Ahead, Plus Bitching Galore


Well, there's the rest of the carrots. I pulled them all except for one that had what I think was a monarch caterpillar on it. They're in a bread bag in the refrigerator right now. I cleaned out that refrigerator today. I didn't do the kind of clean-out where you take everything out including the shelves to wash them all down and then put them all back in and reorganize everything. But I did take everything out, shelf by shelf, and wiped the shelves down and I threw out a lot of stuff. 
I was in the mood to throw out stuff. I've been in that mood all day. It's an angry, bitchy mood. Everything is frustrating me. Why do these moods suddenly come upon us? I sent the kids a picture of the rug in the Glen Den and wrote, "I can't take this thing for one more week."
And I meant it. It's the most hideous rug you've ever seen. It wasn't so bad when we bought it. It was stain-free at that time, of course, being brand new and I cannot imagine that I would buy a rug made of such horrid colors so obviously it's faded or something. It's now a sort of beige with highlights of brown and orangey brown. If I've said it once, I've said it a thousand times- LIFE IS TOO SHORT FOR BEIGE! And brown? Well, there are some rich browns that don't offend me but these are not those. I won't even comment on the orangish shades. 
Ugh. 
So- rug buying is back on the agenda because I AM going to throw that motherfucker away. I would not even insult anyone by asking if they wanted it. 

I was going to clean out the hen house which desperately needs it but the cart I use was filled with potato vines and I didn't have the energy to call Mr. Moon, who was in town, to ask what he wanted me to do with them. I would rather just be slightly pissed off at the inconvenience than actually do anything about it so it's still filled with potato vines and the hen house is still poop-filled. Rather unbelievably, I did not throw any of Darla's precious eggs away. Lucky for her, or maybe unlucky for her, depending on how you look at it. I did take her off the nest and set her down beside it and went through all of the eggs and removed the ones that I hadn't marked. Three since yesterday. Dang hens. As Mr. Moon said, those other hens are saying, "Since you're already on the nest, let's make it worth your while." 
That's exactly what they're thinking although probably not really because I'm not sure chickens think that way but that's what their instincts are telling them to do. 

I really don't know shit except when it comes to chickenshit and that I DO know when I see. 

It's rained on and off all day and that too has been frustrating because we need real rain. The kind that comes and stays, not the kind that flirts and leaves. A steadfast rain. A faithful rain. A loving rain of adequate proportions. 

I did do some sewing today but not on my dress. My husband showed a mask that I'd made to a friend of ours and she admired it and so of course he said that I'd make her one. So I did make her one but it's too big for a woman and that was frustrating too. I started over with a smaller template but I haven't finished it. The pattern is so easy that after I start one I think, "Oh man. This'll be done in fifteen minutes!" and then for whatever reason, an hour later I'm thinking, "Shit. I forgot to put the nose wire in." 

Now see? This day has not been any different than any other day. These are the sorts of frustrations that we all encounter daily. They are just life. But today I have taken every one of them personally and cursed myself, the universe, the colors brown and beige, and a few other things and beings that I am not going to name here. 

Here's something pretty. 


I have a few gladiolas blooming and this one had lost its will to stand up and had fallen over so it was all bent up and I figured I might as well pick it and bring it in to admire and enjoy. So I did. 
Of course I'm a little bit pissed that the darn thing laid down on the job. What the hell, gladioli? You had one job and you blew it! 
Okay. Not really. Its main job was to bloom and it did. 

I can't really think of anything else to bitch about. 
Oh wait! Another Adventure in Aging! 
I'm wearing a giant bandaid on my right arm because yesterday, while the boys were here, I was scurrying around, heating up spaghetti and I left the door to the microwave open and then ran into it with my arm and because my skin is ancient and I've spent my life in the Florida sun, it just peeled back and bled. 

And this is the part where I feel compelled to list all of the things that despite my frustration and general pissed-offeddness, I am so very, very grateful for. 
Yeah. You've heard that list before. 
And I still am incredibly grateful for all of them but fuck it. 

It's just one of those days. We all have them. I guess I'm just leaning into it and sitting with it. And by the way, those two phrases make me want to punch someone. 

Love...Ms. Moon



36 comments:

  1. oh my. I will not comment further other than saying I am too familiar with the *state* you were in today......... I hate those days.....and I think we all have them.....and thankfully they are usually fleeting. I feel your frustration for all things that bring that frustration! Pox on all those things!
    Susan M

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    1. It is so helpful to know that we do, indeed, all have them. Perhaps they are necessary somehow.

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  2. This must be brandnew fresh; it's 4:12 here on the West Coast.
    Sorry you had a bad day. I put it up partly to chemistry, and partly to externals (when it happens to me, that is). And I get you on the fragile skin; my husband and I look like kids who raided the Bandaid box.
    Jenny

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    1. I feel like a war-wounded soldier with this bandaid.
      Dammit!

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  3. I have days like that, mad at everything and anything. I usually have to ask the big guy what's up with me and he usually knows. Sigh.

    I have a filthy rug in my family room that used to be a light grey with blue. Between the dogs, the cat, the big guy and the little guy, the rug has been peed on, shit on, vomited on by both the dog and the little guy and walked over with very dirty slippers. I'd love to replace it but I know the next one would get equally dirty. The big guy wears his slippers out into the garage to smoke and then back in to the house. I like him more than I like the rug thank goodness:)

    Hopefully tomorrow is a better day and on the upside, you cleaned out your fridge:)

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  4. Well, I don't care if a new rug gets destroyed. I will not live with this old one anymore- and yes, all of the things that have happened to your rug have happened to mine in one form or another.
    And hell yes! Those four-year old crackers have been given to the chickens, even though they were still, somehow, crisp.

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  5. Ha! I too despise the "lean into it" and "sit with it" phrases and imagine smacking someone. It is up there with "calm down"! I often wonder about these days that hit like a bolt of lightening. Find a new rug and it will feel better!

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    1. I have found a new rug. It is not the perfect rug but it IS a different rug. I will not only lean into it, I will sit with it and best of all- sit ON it!

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  6. I yanked out our rugs downstairs- including the terrible spiky nails that say "this rug is forever". NOT TODAY!! Get rid of it, toss it to the wind, even if there is bare floor that looks iffy it will be better than that rug. Motherfucking rug!!

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  7. I hate the damn thin skin problem. I did think, though, that all your dislikes are accumulating Darla's nest of eggs, piling up nicely to be sat upon. Perhaps someone will lift you from the nest and take back the rug and the mask and the dress and maybe even the chickenshit.

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    1. Sadly, no one has lifted me up but life has managed to do that, a little bit today.
      I took my bandage off today and looked at the wound and slapped another one right back on. I do not want to look at that. Good lord.

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  8. Am I a bad person because your last paragraph made me laugh? I swear, it was a compassionate laugh. Hang in there. This too, shall pass.

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    1. I'd rather make people laugh than anything so no! You are not a bad person for laughing. You are a GOOD person. Thank you.

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  9. Oh dear - one of those No Good Very Bad Horrible Days. I'd sit with you as you get through it but I've mislaid my suit of armor to protect me from the flames. Actually, I guess I'd need a suit of asbestos.

    BTW, the carrot rainbow is beautiful...

    Chris from Boise

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    1. Haha! I would not let my burning heat with the power of the sun hurt you. I promise!

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  10. Lean in is one of those phrases used by sheltered people who have no clue. Including that woman who wrote that book. I'm with you.

    Also some days are like that.

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  11. A grateful list a few profanities are actually a good combo I think. get it off our chest but then return to the heart. At the depth of the covid crisis my father in law did nothing but moan about what more should be done - eventually I snapped and said 'Are you not ever just grateful for all that's already being done to keep you safe; for the sacrifices people are making (most of whom are not truly threatened by this virus) - for the people who've lost jobs, for the billions we've spent - all for people like you!' To be fair, he rang me the next day and said I was right and that he'd made a list of all the things he was grateful for - including my calling him out!

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    1. Oh, I am always and eternally completely cognizant of what we call our blessings. I have more than anyone I know. Some days, however, the frustrations just overwhelm, don't they? Even if we are aware of how good we have it.
      How fucking good we have it!

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  12. Just. Simply. Exasperating.

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    1. "Exasperating" is the perfect word. Thank you.

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  13. Some days are just made for staying in bed right?

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  14. Lord knows I have days like that too! I want to see a picture of that rug. :)

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  15. I wonder what the new rug will look like!

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  16. That rug sounds like a 70s nightmare. Do you remember those awful appliance colors? Avocado, harvest gold, and that shit brown known as copper tone? Really unfortunate colors. Hope tomorrow’s a better day. I think we deserve to have a bitchy day now and then. Much love.
    Xoxo
    Barbara

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    1. Oh good Lord, yes, I remember those horrid colors. And that orange rust? Ugh. What were people thinking?
      Today has been slightly less frustrating. Thank you.

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  17. In the car this morning there was item about things that have been shown to be good for our stress levels. Sitting by the ocean, sea in our case, smell of just cut grass and swearing. I think a bit of profanity is an expression of where our head's at.

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    1. I believe it! And profanity is so much easier to access than those other things, right?

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    2. Just as long as nobody asks me if I'm hormonal. I might be sometimes other times I'm just fed up with injustice

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  18. oh, yeah, those kinds of days. and I know what you mean by old skin. I'm looking like all those old women and men too I guess that have scabs all over them from bumping into stuff. and they take forever to heal. what the fuck is up with that? oh, yeah, I'm one of those old people with tissue paper skin. it sucks.

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Tell me, sweeties. Tell me what you think.