Friday, October 3, 2014

Too Many Buts About It

This is one of the signs I see on my walk. It amuses me, being a pedestrian and all. And rebel that I am, I do not slow for the curve.

I also stopped by the old hidden graveyard.

I love that spot. It looks different every season but is always remarkably peaceful. Not a bad place for bones to spend an eternity. 

Mr. Moon called me this morning and said,"Hey. Let's go to Mobile."
And me, just awake and feeling all existentially angsty and shit said, "But, but, but..."
"I'm ready to just check out of here," he said. "Let's just go."
"But, but, but," I said. "Who will take care of the chickens?"
And he said, of course, that our neighbor would and I said I wasn't ready and he said that all I had to do was pack a bag and then I said some other stupid shit about not really feeling like I could go and so he said that all right, he had plenty to do right here. 
I had made the suggestion last night that we might go but hadn't really thought he'd heard me. Our old friend Ziggy is playing there this weekend and we made a little weekend of it a few years ago, found a beautiful old place to stay, had a wonderful time. But. But. But. 

Of course, after I'd had my walk, I'd thought more about it. And I called him back but I still wasn't really truly gung-ho and we've decided that we'll just wait until our anniversary at the end of the month to go somewhere and this weekend we'll just take the time to be with each other which seems to be so hard to do. 

But. But. But.

On my death bed I'm going to be pissed off at myself for not going. I know it. 

I say "no" too often when "yes" would be, without a doubt, the very best thing. 

Well. I'm going to run to town to take some jewelry to be fixed, to go pick up steaks and the makings for martinis. I'll clean off the table on the front porch and cut pine cone lilies to put in a vase. It'll be a sweet weekend. 
But oh, how I want to remember to say "yes" more often to my husband, to the universe. 

Here's Ziggy doing a cover of Bell Bottom Blues and I especially fancy the way he does one of the most beautiful love songs ever written. 

I don't want to fade away. Really, I don't. Life is so short and my bones will be part of the earth for so long.

Happy Friday, y'all.

Love...Ms. Moon


  1. why is no so much easier to say than yes. I noticed that when my kids were little, that we say no so often when we could just as easily say yes. I started trying to say yes all the time. yes you can do this, yes you can do that, yes we can go there. especially since their father never ever said yes even when there was no reason to say no.

  2. I sometimes think we are the same person. It's so hard to push out into the world. A secret? I actually looked for excuses not to travel north last weekend. And I was going to see my adored daughter! I went in the end and of course I'm so happy I did. I'd say to you it's not too late to say yes to Mobile. But if you say no, that's fine too. The key is to not take yourself to a negative place by feeling guilty about it. Go or don't go. Both are perfectly fine options. And Mr Moon understands. Remember he's known and loved you just as you are for a long time. Hugs sweet woman.

  3. Oh, Ms Mary... you could never fade away, and you never would. You have touched so many people's hearts, friends, family and those of us who unfortunately only know you through your words. You are such an amazing lady. You won't believe me. But it is true. Your lovely, lovely man understands you. I know how hard it is to be afraid to walk through that door, especially when it's the thing, deep down you most want to do. Hold him a little closer tonight, and pour your martinis... don't beat yourself up about it. As you say, you can take a trip later, and you'll get to see your friend Ziggy perform another time. I've never heard of that song before... just listened to it, and what a beautiful voice he has. You'll see him when you're ready. Love you, love you, love you xox

  4. Mrs. Moon, Why do you always ignore my comments to you? It hurts my feelings that you can always answer others. I am anonymous only because I m not real handy on this computer. I read you everyday and enjoy your humor.Debra

  5. Ellen Abbott- I know exactly what you mean! Even now with my grandsons, I KNOW I'm going to give in, mostly. Why do we have to go through this crazy dance?

    Angella- When you wrote about going on that trip, my first thought was, "How does she have the gumption to do that?" I would have backed out of my birthday trip to Asheville if I had been given a tenth of a chance. But Lis was not having that. And I am SO glad I went.

    Sandy- Oh. Thank you. You are so sweet. I appreciate that so much. That song is on the very amazing, one-of-the-best-albums-ever, Layla, by Derrick and the Dominoes. Eric Clapton. Ziggy writes his own music, too. And it's very good. I've been going to see him play since I was in my twenties and he was probably not much more than a teenager. He was a hotshit rock god guitar player in those days. Now he's a hotshit solo guitarist and song writer.

    Debra- I would NEVER not answer a comment unless it's just one of those days when I don't get to it. I swear- this is the first one of yours that I've seen. What other posts have you commented on? I am very sorry and please believe I would never ignore you on purpose.

  6. I finally got to the beach for a few days and it was wonderful. I am just catching up on your blog posts.

    I don't think I have ever seen a picture of Gibson frowning.

    I am happy Kathleen is feeling better.

    Bayfest! I have never been, they started that after I moved. It might be fun, but it might be really crowded, I don't know. Gail

  7. I say yes to those kinds of things and no to those that require me to do a lot of work for other people. But playing and getting out on the road--Hell Yes.

  8. aint for city gals- Well, I would too if I had more sense. Or less crazy.

    Gail- I'm so glad you got to go to the beach! Welcome back!

    Syd- I know. I'm just silly and weird. Especially when I first wake up.

  9. Sandy- For some reason I got e-mail notifying me of your comments but they're not showing up here. WTF? Anyway, don't tell Ziggy he's hotshit. He already has a head the size of Montana. Nah. Not really. He's a sweetie. And a grandpa now. Which makes me smile.

  10. It's funny how the reflexive response to a suggestion like that is "no." I think I would have the same response, at least until I thought it through. It's hard to let go of our responsibilities, our "chickens" (whether they are actual chickens or not).


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