Saturday, January 26, 2013

Less Than Awesome Randomosity


I really can't believe this weather. That's my Buckeye there, leafing out as you can see. The folk wisdom around here is that you know there will be no more freezes when the pecans begin to leaf and I swear to you, their branches are getting bumpy.
Should I be setting out tomatoes? Hell. I don't know.

I don't know shit.

That should be the name of this blog. idon'tknowshit.net

Did I tell you that Owen told me yesterday, whilst I was putting him in his car seat and he had a good view of the inside of my nose that I had spiderwebs in there and that I should not go out like that?
He did.
I said, "Spiderwebs?"
He said, "No, not spiderwebs. Prickly things."
"Hair?"
"Maybe."

God. I need to groom better.

Later on, at my house, he got a piece of gum when I wasn't looking and I told him that he wasn't supposed to get gum unless he asked me.
"I asked myself," he said.
"And I suppose yourself said to get a piece."
"Uh-huh."

Such a sassy child.

So how do you like my new header? One of the few things I did today was walk around and take pictures. That's not a great picture but any picture with Elvis in it makes me happy. I also cleaned out the nests in the hen house and did laundry. That's pretty much it. Besides cry anytime I talked to anyone which was blessedly rare. I didn't cry when I had a running conversation with Billy via text. Actually, I believe that Billy and I are constantly and eternally having a running conversation via text. We think we're hysterical. We're probably not. But maybe we are. Billy is one of the funniest people I know. He and Owen.

I just talked to Jessie. She and Vergil and Lily and the boys ended up today in Whigham, Georgia for the annual Rattlesnake Roundup. She says they had a great time. Good Lord! I wonder if Owen handled rattlesnakes. I doubt it. Wouldn't that just be like life if Owen grew up to be a snake-handling Pentecostal minister? He's got the looks for one of those rock-star preachers. I hope he doesn't. But if he does, I hope he's not a Republican too. That would break his Mer-Mer's heart.

Speaking of the chickens, I just had to go let Miss Sharon out of the gate. All the chickens got into the backyard today and spent their entire day scratching under the birdfeeder and in the camellia bed and they all figured out how to get to the henhouse to roost except for Sharon. I guess she's not my brightest chicken. Elvis stood at the door and called to her, though, until I let her out and she went on home. Here's something I bet you didn't know- chickens LOVE rotten tofu. I had some I found in the refrigerator the other day and thought, what the hell? and threw it to them and they ate it like it was GOOD! And today I gave 'em grits and they did not like them. Grits are made of corn! Chickens love corn! You should see them attack an ear of corn. But I guess their corn-love does not extend to grits. Go figure.

Mr. Moon is splitting wood. He's going to grill pork chops and squash and sweet potatoes and asparagus for our supper tonight. I just don't think we're getting enough pork around here. Would you believe we are still eating that ham? And it's still delicious. When I said that ham was as big as a Volkswagen, I was not kidding. It's just now whittled down to the size where I can get it in the kitchen refrigerator as opposed to the garage refrigerator which usually has nothing in it but beer. I'll tell you something else- every time I open the refrigerator and smell that clovey-ham goodness I still think, Mmmmm. Ham. 

All right. That's enough of the Local News. Sometimes I feel so dark and sad but when I sit down to write, I discover that I'm tired of feeling like that and the lightheartedness comes out in me and when that happens, I am always surprised.

I'll tell you a secret- writing is magic.

What? You already knew that?

Aren't we lucky?

I think so.

Love...Ms. Moon









11 comments:

  1. "I asked myself" Classic. Not to be outdone by the spiderwebs. He's too much!

    Glad for your lightness.
    xo

    ReplyDelete
  2. Writing is magic -- and yours is certainly so. I love the new header -- it has just the right chicken perspective. And I love Owen's comment about your nose -- I love how ballsy/sassy some kids are and how entirely matter-of-fact in their judgement. Chinese doctors are like that, too. I appreciate it.

    ReplyDelete
  3. Ms. Fleur- He knocks me out. He makes me laugh. He smushes me with his love.

    Elizabeth- Yes! Isn't it perfect? Just complete honest observation. Thank you for everything. And you know what I mean.

    ReplyDelete
  4. Love the new header - I thoroughly enjoy your chickens.

    And Owen. He rocks!

    ReplyDelete
  5. Elvis is one handsome dude.

    I just learned that when hens skoosh down and spread their wings a bit when you approach, they expect you to MOUNT THEM. As in mate with them.

    And I just thought they were being friendly and wanting to be picked up.

    Gawd, I'm dumb as a chicken sometimes.

    Love and kisses,

    Beth

    PS I ask myself stuff all the time.

    ReplyDelete
  6. Writing IS magic. (Some people's writing is more magical than others'!) I love the "spider webs" story. Remember Art Linkletter's show, "Kids Say the Darndest Things"?

    ReplyDelete
  7. Ha. funnyasfu*%.com is more like it, if you ask me.

    ReplyDelete
  8. Ah, nose hair. But surely if you trim it, you're likely to get more colds?

    Humanity is a strange gift.

    ReplyDelete
  9. Jill- Sharing the chicken love. That's me.

    Beth Coyote- Yes. I knew that about the hens. But that's because I have a rooster and so I see them get mounted. And you're right- we ALL ask ourselves things all the time. Owen is developing autonomy!

    Steve- I do remember that show. Gawd.

    Ajax- Some days I am funny. Other days I am definitely simply strange. Or boring.

    Jo- I have no idea. The child does not need to look up my nose as far as I'm concerned.

    ReplyDelete
  10. Poor dumb Sharon. LOL!
    I love the new pic.
    I have days where all someone needs to do is smile at me and I'm in a puddle. Life's like that.

    ReplyDelete
  11. I'm glad that the chickens are doing okay and none have died lately. I like your chickens and am sad when they disappear.

    ReplyDelete

Tell me, sweeties. Tell me what you think.