Tuesday, January 8, 2013

Just Life

I'm home, I'm home, I'm home in my sweet little home and I escaped the hospital although my mother is still imprisoned there. She was certain last night that she imprisoned against her will and we were all in on it from me to my brother to the nurses and techs.
"Who's paying you?" she kept asking. "Who's paying you to do this to me?"
It was pretty awful.
She was scared and it was scary.
She finally calmed down some and Chuck went home and I slept some on one of those fold-out chairs and she slept, finally, pretty well. I think that somewhere in her she knew I wasn't going to let harm come to her and she finally relaxed.

This is all so complicated on so many levels. And I know this is a fairly normal thing when an elderly person is injured and her routine and surroundings are changed so drastically and she's in pain that she doesn't quite understand and then there are the drugs. It's hard.

But. At around seven thirty I made my escape into the sweet air of the gray morning to come home and let the dogs out and shower and eat and regroup. Mr. Moon was out of town last night for business and so the dogs were here alone which...oh, who cares? But how much poop and pee does one woman want to clean up, plus, I just had to get out of there.

Hopefully they'll be transferring her back to her Assisted Living today. We shall see. The level of personal care has to be better there. I really am rather shocked at how unprepared the staff at the hospital is to deal with an elderly patient with dementia. Surely this can't be the first time this has happened.

So that's what's going on in my world. Blessedly, I am almost well from my cold. I could literally feel it slipping out of my body on Sunday night and I have felt better since. I am grateful as hell because if I were sick I could not manage this situation at all. I don't feel that I'm doing a very good job of it as it is, but if I were feeling the way I did last week, it would be impossible.

I miss my boys so much I can hardly stand it. I did get to run by and see them very briefly yesterday afternoon and I did everything but eat them up. I just NEEDED them.

I better shower and eat and get back over there. I keep thinking of Mr. Moon's words. "This is just life. We will deal with it."

I hear the hawks calling and I wish I could spend the day right here but I can't. Soon enough I will be back. Soon enough. To do laundry and sweep and tidy and wash dishes and so all of the little things I do in my sweet little life. I'll get my boys again and play with them and I'll cook dinner and sit down and eat it with my husband and sleep in our bed with him.

I am looking forward to all of that so very, very much.

Thank you for being here. I read your comments from my phone and they comfort me more than you can know.

Love...Ms. Moon


  1. I have class all day and then trivia, but tomorrow I only have class from 1 to 3 or so and so call me and tell me what I can do. And do you know, I am still coughing!

  2. Don't forget to breathe. I mean that.

  3. Just catching up...

    It's so hard when our parents get old and confused and injured. It pretty much just sucks.

    But hopefully the boys and the house and the Mr Moon will balance all the suckiness out


  4. I can feel the anxiety and strain. Sadly, it won't get much better. Dementia is a terrible thing. I hope by the time I get older than dirt, death by euthanasia will be legal. The old movie title They Shoot Horses, Don't They comes to mind. Very sad for so many who don't have support from the medical community because there are so few geriatric docs.

  5. I am sending love and peace all the way from Vancouver Island. That is about 5000 Km (3,100 M) by car but I am sending it as the crow flies so it will get there faster. xo

  6. Your hawks will be waiting for you. I doubt they are going anywhere. You're doing an amazing job. That's for true. Take care of yourself. I'm glad the cold is slipping away. It must have known that more important things were happening.

  7. Hey darlin. Whew. So very glad you are home and feeling better. I have been thinking of you so much. I think I am back as well, but not dealing with all that you are by quite a stretch.

    Several huge hugs and all my love,


    xo xo xo

  8. I am sending cyber hugs your way. May your mom feel better soon and so glad to hear your cold is almost gone.

  9. I think Mr. Moon's "This is just life. We will deal with it" should be a mantra of sorts for all of us.

    I'm glad that you made it through the night without pulling a Shirley Maclaine -- that your mother slept well.

    You done good, Ms. Mary Moon.

  10. I'm with Elizabeth. I think you're doing great. I think that you underestimate yourself a lot, as many of us do. But you kick a whole lot of ass if you ask me.

    Good luck with it all. I hope you don't have to be there all day again.
    Sending love,
    xo m

  11. oh gosh, sorry this is happening. So glad your cold left. Hang in there MM. Big hugs.

  12. Oh Mary, i know where you are so well, the worry, the dismay, the guilty escape, the inner wail, the outer composure, all of it, all of it. I am thinking of you. I hope all will begin to settle down when you mom gets back to the assisted living facility that is now home. love, love, love.

  13. Have a doctor give her something strong enough to knock her out for a few hours....she is scared too death. When she wakes up she will be a bit calmer...but you have to tell them what to do...give her about 10mg of valium intraveniously...she will sleep. I found in cases like like these the nurses don't want to mess with them...they want the families to talke care of them...you need to tell them while she is in the hospital that is THEIR job...what they are getting paid for.


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