I'm home, I'm home, I'm home in my sweet little home and I escaped the hospital although my mother is still imprisoned there. She was certain last night that she imprisoned against her will and we were all in on it from me to my brother to the nurses and techs.
"Who's paying you?" she kept asking. "Who's paying you to do this to me?"
It was pretty awful.
She was scared and it was scary.
She finally calmed down some and Chuck went home and I slept some on one of those fold-out chairs and she slept, finally, pretty well. I think that somewhere in her she knew I wasn't going to let harm come to her and she finally relaxed.
This is all so complicated on so many levels. And I know this is a fairly normal thing when an elderly person is injured and her routine and surroundings are changed so drastically and she's in pain that she doesn't quite understand and then there are the drugs. It's hard.
But. At around seven thirty I made my escape into the sweet air of the gray morning to come home and let the dogs out and shower and eat and regroup. Mr. Moon was out of town last night for business and so the dogs were here alone which...oh, who cares? But how much poop and pee does one woman want to clean up, plus, I just had to get out of there.
Hopefully they'll be transferring her back to her Assisted Living today. We shall see. The level of personal care has to be better there. I really am rather shocked at how unprepared the staff at the hospital is to deal with an elderly patient with dementia. Surely this can't be the first time this has happened.
So that's what's going on in my world. Blessedly, I am almost well from my cold. I could literally feel it slipping out of my body on Sunday night and I have felt better since. I am grateful as hell because if I were sick I could not manage this situation at all. I don't feel that I'm doing a very good job of it as it is, but if I were feeling the way I did last week, it would be impossible.
I miss my boys so much I can hardly stand it. I did get to run by and see them very briefly yesterday afternoon and I did everything but eat them up. I just NEEDED them.
I better shower and eat and get back over there. I keep thinking of Mr. Moon's words. "This is just life. We will deal with it."
I hear the hawks calling and I wish I could spend the day right here but I can't. Soon enough I will be back. Soon enough. To do laundry and sweep and tidy and wash dishes and so all of the little things I do in my sweet little life. I'll get my boys again and play with them and I'll cook dinner and sit down and eat it with my husband and sleep in our bed with him.
I am looking forward to all of that so very, very much.
Thank you for being here. I read your comments from my phone and they comfort me more than you can know.