Friday, January 11, 2013

Fortune Smiled Today

Listen- whatever you're going through, just hang on because I swear, it's going to get better. Okay, maybe not EVERY time but mostly and eventually we all wind up dead so what the fuck, right? 

A friend of mine was telling me about this idea she'd read about where a New Year's thing to do would be to get a jar and every time something really fine happens, to write it on a slip of paper and put it in the jar so that at the end of the year you'd have proof and reminder of all the good things that had happened in that year.
Fine. I see the point of this.
However, I think it would be more telling for me to also have a jar where I could put slips of paper delineating the crappy shit which happened as well because I honestly believe that at the end of the year the good jar would be fuller than the bad but GODDAMMIT, BAD THINGS DO HAPPEN and it's nice to be reminded that yes, they do, but then something good comes along and we survive.
See all those slips in the bad-things-that-happened jar? Well, you survived them! So there, you little Chicken Little, you.

Okay, yes, I am talking to myself here. Still, I think I have a point.

Today was a good things day. For sure and for real.
First off, I saw Baby today in the yard. Now I haven't reported this but I hadn't seen Baby in a week and you know how sad I was about that. I was pretty sure she was living next door with her suitor, Fancy The Rooster, but I wasn't positive. So when I saw her in the yard today I was very, very happy. It's crazy how just the sight of that little black bird made my heart soar but it did.

Then Hank and Lily and Owen and Gibson and Jason and I went to see Mother and if the hospital was hell (and it was) then the place where Mother is now in the rehab part of her assisted living is heaven. She is being taken care of. Truly. Getting PT. Really. She has a room with a window that looks to the outside. She can eat in the dining room which looks like a little cafe. There's a little pond down the hallway with fishes and a turtle. There's a big, beautiful white cage with cockatiels that whistle and sing. There is natural light, there are people everywhere who seem to care.
She may actually get better there.
I was shocked once again at what goes on in hospitals during my mother's stay. I know they have an almost insurmountable task, taking care of all the different patients with all the different needs but for god's sake- could they just make a few changes like not talking in the hallways in daytime voices at three in the morning? About stuff that has nothing to do with patient care? Or even with stuff that DOES? Could they dim the hallway lights at night? I mean, they're not doing surgery out there. Could they make sure that the patient they're serving a meal to is capable of sitting up in the bed and taking the lid off that tepid cup of coffee and opening the package of Coffee Mate by herself? I swear to you, I don't think anyone once offered to help my mother brush her teeth or wash her face in the three days she was in the hospital. These are basic human needs and believe me, they are not being fulfilled in our local hospital. It's a fucking miracle anyone gets out of that place alive.
But. She is not there any more. She is safe and comfortable and being tended to. She is surrounded by natural light and cheerful artwork and there are birds and turtles and fish.
So after we visited for just a little while I felt as if a million-pound weight had been lifted from my chest. Yes, she's still confused and she is still in pain but under the circumstances, she is in the best place possible.
This Assisted Living, as I have mentioned before, even has a playground for grandkids who come to visit and Owen wanted to play there today and so he did. We all took a nice little break and they have these great swings that a wheelchair will fit on and here's Lily and Gibson, opposite me on one with Jason and Owen in the background.

Sorry that Gibson's so cranky. 


Then we went to lunch at a Chinese buffet place because Owen is currently enthralled with noodles. It was a good lunch and I even had some what I can only assume is traditional Chinese banana pudding which rocked because it was chock-full of bananas and vanilla wafers and when we got our fortunes, this was mine.

Although it does not specify that the life to which this romance is coming in a very unusual way is actually mine, I have great hopes. I texted that picture to Mr. Moon and he wrote back that he hopes it involves him. I wrote him back that I hoped the same thing.

One never knows. We may be old but we are still trainable.
Or something.

So that was delightful, all of it, and when we left the restaurant, Owen suggested that we now move on to Piggy's which is a barbecue joint. God I love that child!
"But Owen, we just ate. We're all really full," I said.
"Oh yeah," he said. But still, I understand. We were having such fun eating that it was completely natural to want to just continue doing it at another place. He'd had his noodles, now maybe a little mac and cheese? Nothing wrong with that idea.

But no, we did not go to Piggy's. I went to the library and turned in my books and only had a sixty-cent fine and let me tell you something that I've said before- if there is any higher indication of civilization than the public library, I don't know what it would be. And after I'd gotten my books to read with both eyes and ears, I saw an old friend and stopped to talk to him and happened to look down and this is what I saw:

The Martin Scorsese documentary that I've been dying to see.
And all the way from the library to the grocery store where I am so blessed that I can buy what we need and even what we want without having to add up every penny as I go, and then all the way home, I was thinking of the song Sweethaven from the movie Popeye which I think is one of the most underrated movies of all times.
If you have never seen the movie or heard the song, you can go HERE.  
Sorry. It's unembeddable. Or however you spell that. But. Yes. I feel as if God or god must love me and that's hysterical, given my religious beliefs or non-beliefs if you will. But still, you know, just purely blessed with some real good stuff today and I'm paying attention. I'm taking note.
If I had one of those jars, I'd throw a few slips in it. The good-stuff-that-happened jar. Which I don't so I won't but I have this space, this place right here and that's even better.

There's other stuff too, just- you know- the tiny daily miracles that occur which are actually the huge miracles of life such as love and friendship and a grandchild's kisses. A home to live in, a family to love and be loved by.
I am overwhelmed by all of it sometimes.
Right now, for instance.

So- whatever is happening in your life that maybe is causing you great grief and worry, I repeat myself- hang on. It's probably going to get better.
Most likely.
Breathe and eat and sleep and take a walk and kiss a baby if you can get your hands on one.

See you tomorrow.

Love...Ms. Moon


  1. I love that jar idea from your friend. Gibson is too sweet.

  2. We did that jar idea for my mom once, from the grandkids. Stuff they remembered from all their visits. Made them cry. I'm with you though, I'd have a lot to put in my crap jar too.

    I am so glad your mom is somewhere light and caring. The way you described the hospital? Exactly what my experience felt like this summer. It was horrible. Nursing has become hyper compartmentalized and is almost non functional for basic care. I had a parade of people, but no one to notice the bed was too high or that I needed help sitting up to eat. I did not feel cared for at all. Hoping your mom turns the corner now.

    Thanks for all the good news and I agree about the library too. Civilization's grandest achievement, along with education. To me the library is education.
    Hugs to you this weekend.

  3. I think my jars are my blog. Both lean and fat goes in. I adore Popeye. Music by the much beloved and ethereal Harry Niilson.

  4. Wow. That's one incredible day of serendipity. I think the jar idea is sort of like my whole thing about "it could've been worse," and "it could've been a whole lot fucking better." Maybe that could be the names of the two jars?

    Also, I forgot to tell you that last night I went to a library event and heard Jeff Bridges and Bernie Glassman talk about their new book "The Dude and the Zen Master." I do love the library -- maybe as much as you --

    I'm just tickled that you had such a good day, and I wish you'd include some happier photos of Gibson to balance out those miserable ones.

  5. Hey you.

    You have no idea how MUCH I needed to hear that. Today has been a pretty good one for me too, albeit long. I haven't had a day where I actually felt like I wasn't dying from this crazy reflux in quite a while. Today I almost felt normal for more than a few hours. It was heaven.

    Love that photo of Lily and Grumpy ole Gibson!

    Oh yea, and once you choose a cookie, the fortune IS most definitely yours! I'm sure ya'll will have more fun with that one.

  6. What a Buddha smile that Gibson has!
    Bliss. I'm glad things are so much better all round.

  7. Thanks so much for your blog! We are going through a similar thing with my 94-year-old father and your comments about the hospital were so much like our feelings! Reading your thoughts has been a big comfort to me. By the way, we switched from TMH to CRM and found it an improvement, but not perfect.


  8. Okay, that smile on Gibson's face did me in just now. How can you take such sweet hilarity from such a small being. You are full of love and goodness. S. Jo

  9. And thank goodness. Things usually do end up getting better - helps us all to be able to stand when they suck :)

    Gibson looks so much like Jason.

  10. I'm on my iPhone so can't comment like I really want to. Just know that I loved this post and the pictures and all of your thoughts.

  11. I myself have decided to adopt the memory jar, probably more for my kids than myself. I will only put good things in it though. Lord knows, I don't have a problem remembering the bad things that happened throughout the year. It's the good things I need reminding of to keep my pessimism in perspective.

  12. Nicole- You can make a jar. Or two. Whatever. Gibson was put on earth to smile and make people happy. So far.

    Mel- Yeah. Nursing really has changed since I was in school for it. I think I'd just hate it to death now if I had to do it. More than before, even.
    Nice idea for your mother and the grandkids.
    Yes. Libraries are better than churches in my opinion.

    Madame King- Exactly- the lean and the fat. Mine too although what comes out in mine isn't always very tasty, unlike yours. You are right about dear Harry. Ethereal and beautiful and I miss him. I'm glad you like Popeye too. How can people not love that movie? I don't get it.

    Elizabeth- Say what? You forgot to tell me you saw Jeff Bridges? Do not let that happen again, okay?
    I love the name of your possible jars. We share much in the way of sensibilities. And humor.
    Sorry about the Gibson pictures. I'll try to do better.

    Ms. Fleur- I'm so glad that you had a better day.
    As to the romance thing- "romance" is a word that can cover a whole lot of ground, isn't it? Hell, it could even mean I'm getting a new grandchild this year, although I have heard no rumors in that regard. I certainly feel romantic about my grandsons. In a completely beautiful and innocent way. You know.

    A- Me too, honey. I swear.

    Georgie- Hello! Well, anything would have to be an improvement over TMH. At least the sixth floor.

    S Jo- I believe that Gibson's obvious innate delight reflects much humor. Which means he's really smart.

    Jill- I think Gibson does look like his daddy. And his daddy is a good-looking man.

    gradydoctor- Thanks, sweet doctor-woman. Always.

    Kelly- I think that if I had proof of how meaningless most of my fears and anxieties were, it might help. Then again, it might not.

  13. Being able to look back and say, "I was bent out of shape about THAT?" enables me to chill the hell out.

    So, maybe that Shitty Shit Jar would work out.

  14. Kate- Perfect name for it- The Shitty Shit Jar. Yeah.


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