The Time Of Year When Winter And Spring Come Together In Lloyd

The Time Of Year When Winter And Spring Come Together In Lloyd

Wednesday, January 23, 2013

If Only The Egret Could Impart Her Wisdom To Me


One week ago. One week ago my mother died.
And time hasn't stopped for a second and things get more and more and more complicated and death is just the beginning of so many processes. Some emotional, some physical, some financial, some legal. There are more types but I can't really think right now.
My brain is just not right.

I told May tonight that if I could, when it was time for me and Mr. Moon to leave this earth, I would love to be able to say, "We shall be dying on Thursday at four o'clock. We have liquidated everything. Here is a check for each of you. Now. Can we borrow some money for food because we will need to eat before we die on Thursday. At four o'clock."

But it's not like that. Ever.

Well. So what? Life is never what you wish it to be, but instead what it turns out to really be, and yeah, you can quote me on that one. Hahahahahaha! I'm fucking profound, aren't I?

That picture? It has nothing to do with anything but if you click on it, perhaps you can see what I saw which was a floating dock on a local lake which had a bunch of turtles on it, all facing a little egret and it looked for all the world as if the egret were addressing the turtles on some important matter and it made me laugh. My brother Chuck said that the egret was telling the turtles that they had to "come out of their shells." A motivational speaker, as it were.
Could be.

And I went to try and buy another dress but they only had them in black and what would be the point? I have one of those.

We're going to eat soup soon and then, again we shall sleep.

8 comments:

Syd said...

It's a lot to process. I'm glad that you are doing well. It sounds as if your mother did have some things in order. That's better than nothing. Trying to think positively.

mr. downtown said...

I'm glad you came last night. I love to show off my gig to the family.

Hey, that's one way birth and death are very different - you don't even get a 9 month timeframe on death. It seems like if you could know like that, you wouldn't want to know for long. Maybe if you just found out about a week ahead.

Blue Gal said...

Death is such a funny thing. It completely alters your world and suddenly you see things in a new way and it's like, has it always been this way? Why don't people realize it? Some people are so uncomfortable talking about death. I think the very first blog post I ever wrote was about death.

Mel said...

Those turtles really do look intently listening.
It's a wonder a person can remember how to tie a shoe or eat so soon after the death of a parent, let alone win at trivia.
About your previous post? I think all little boys should know how to pee in the bushes. :)
xo

Sara said...

I'm glad you're writing, Mary. And I'm listening. And that egret is beautiful.

Denise Emanuel Clemen said...

God, I love that photo! Wouldn't it be kind of wonderful to be a turtle and be able to crawl into a shell? Just retract our heads and ignore whatever?

ellen abbott said...

Being an orphan was the strangest part of my mother dying for me. No more parents. I'm the parent.

Petit fleur said...

Please tell that Egret to visit me when you are done with her!

Life feels like one challenge after the next from all sides sometimes. Or as my friend Kevin says: "Sometimes it's all gristle."

We love you. You have your humor and music nad family and friends, and that's good.
xo