Wednesday, July 13, 2011

Aspects Of Aging

It has occurred to me lately that I have become stale. And boring. Stale and boring.
Not only in life but here, too.
And I hate that. I could, of course, just start NOT BLOGGING! which would be the sensible thing to do but I am as addicted to this little square of cyberspace as I can be. It is where all of my thoughts tumble, although they do not all get into the final drafts. Yes. There are things I think about which I don't write about. Hard to believe, I know.

Maggie May wrote yesterday so cleanly and clearly and fiercely about how she shall not let her tongue be bound by the knowledge that what she writes might offend or shock others. Mostly her family. I admire her so for that. She has teen-aged sons and yet, she writes about passion in the sexual sense and every other thing you can imagine and I so wish I had her courage. To write about sex and passion and my body in more intimate ways than I do now would be freeing. Would be a step for all of us as we age, I think.

I think of how when I was a young hippie, nudity was something that just...was. It was part of life. We delighted in nudity. I am not saying that we all walked around stark naked all the time, I am just saying that sometimes it just happened and it was fine and we were all young and beautiful and bodies were something that we didn't exactly take for granted but we didn't freak out at the sight of either. There were hairy bodies and chubby bodies and skinny bodies and tanned bodies and pale bodies and large bosoms and small bosoms and and every size of every thing which humans have and as I recall, none of was disturbing. It was just part of the grand glory of human differences in form and shape.
I suppose we were just all in love with our bodies and sex was an easy thing then too. Oh sure, people got together and were monogamous but if they weren't in a relationship, if the notion took a couple, well...there was nothing stopping it. Love was still free. The pill had been invented, AIDS and Herpes had not been heard of. Crabs seemed to be the main downside to it and hell, who hasn't gone to the drugstore and bought Kwell?
It was all more or less a celebration of life. That sounds so trite.
Well, you drink a bunch of mushroom tea with a roomful of people you love and try NOT to celebrate life.
Does that sound ridiculous?
And no, it wasn't all Back To The Garden, either. There were hearts broken and feelers hurt (as my friend Sue used to say) and there was confusion. We were trying to make our own way with no example of how to do that.
But still. It was a noble experiment and there was a lot of joy, a lot of laughter, a lot of dancing, a lot of love.
And then...a lot of babies.
Oh my.

Well, and here I am, all these years later, as married and monogamous as a human can be. And with this old body that I would not skinny dip with unless I was sure that there was no moon above and no one around who might judge me.
That makes me sad.
Well, not the monogamous part. I am a person particularly suited to that practice. I am. Which, I suppose, makes me boring.

Ah lah. I don't even know what I'm saying here.
I'm so tired. Three days with Owen and my house is a disaster waiting for the Red Cross to show up with paper cups of water and perhaps a blood transfusion.
Not really. But sort of.
I am a grandmother! And when I was young, I did not want to hear about grandmothers' sex lives. I am quite sure that my grandmother did not have a sex life. She and my grandfather slept on twin beds in separate rooms in the farthest parts of their little house. She snored, according to legend. I can remember so well, seeing my grandmother settle for her nap, her little Shelton Stroller dress (I think she had three of them and she wore one every day) with the skirt pulled down as far as it would go, her little feet crossed as she laid on her back, her face so vulnerable without the glasses she wore with their huge, thick lenses, their big, black, ugly hearing aids in the ear pieces. She would lay on top of the covers with the fan rotating nearby and she would sleep under the picture her oldest son had painted when he was a child.
I have that picture in my bedroom now and I love it.
I can't imagine my grandfather asking for a nooner. The very idea makes me roar with laughter.
But who knows?

Oh. Who knows? Not me. The only physical affection I ever saw pass between them was...
Wait. I never saw any.
Sometimes he would say, "Oh Mother, you're so cute."
But even as a child, it felt condescending to me, the way he said it. She certainly didn't giggle or reach her face up for a kiss.

And so here I am, again without an example of how things are done. My mother's marriages either ended in disaster or death and yes, she does claim to have a vibrator but I have no desire to hear any more about that.

Oh well. Something to ponder as I go pick up Owen's toys, finish the laundry, look for eggs, start supper, wait for that man to come home. The man I love and whom I would very much like to go away on yet another honeymoon with soon.

Well, here. I'll tell you this: When you get older and the kids move away, you'd think that you could swing like monkeys from the chandeliers at any time of the day or night and yes, you'd be right. But - the amount of energy one has for wild monkey sex diminishes. The amount of energy diminishes PERIOD, yet the duties and chores and responsibilities do not. So it is still good to get away and not have a thing planned except to be with each other. To enjoy. To remember what brought you together in the first place.

Which brings me back to the point I am right now which is the point of exhaustion. Which is stale and boring.
And it's time to make supper.

But I do know that when it's time for bed tonight, I will be glad to have that man beside me. The very fact that this morning when we got up, he reached over and kissed me was enough to carry me through this day.

I guess the main thing is always love, isn't it? Whatever that love is for, and especially if it's for the one you are partnered with, then that's it.

But I'd still like another honeymoon.

And that's all I'm saying today.

Love...Ms. Moon


  1. Oh, Ms. Moon you are one of the least stale people around! And no wonder you are so tired? Looking after dogs and cats and a certain energy filled two year old. Be tired. You are allowed.

    Your mother has a vib... never mind **shakes head to clear it**

    I love sex. I swear to god, I have almost levitated when have sex with my fiance. But I am so tired. And I am depressed. I feel like I am crawling through each day on my hands and knees and I am sure not about to give a blow job when I am down there. I love my parter so much. So much. I don't know how I could love him anymore that I already do but sex is just not happening right now. I also find it SO emotional in the last few months. The last time I cried afterwards. I have so much going on inside of me, inside my mind and my heart.
    Anyway, you are not stale. And I don't think there is anything attached with a grandchild being born to say you aren't allowed to have sex anymore.

    A vibrator?????

  2. I'd be happy with just getting to the point of having a honeymoon :)

  3. you are the least stale and boring person i know ms. moon, and you come here with honesty and guts and kindness and all of it right out there, and i love it and i love you for it. we get tired. that's okay. we process here. we are different people on different days here. and all of it is okay. be whoever you feel like being when you sit down here. we will be here because we love being here with you. Stale and boring? Never. Not even if you tried, mary moon. it's just summer is all. i'm coming to learn that blogs can feel this way in summer, but only to you. not to us who come here every single day because we can't spend a day without you. no matter which you we find. we love them all. we love you.

  4. I censor myself heavily on my blog. I hate it, but I have so much fear! Fear of what, I don't even know. Confrontation? Possibly.
    But your blog boring? Never.

  5. Dearest Mary, I had to stop by to say you are NEVER, EVER stale OR boring. You are wonderful. Your writing lights up my day no matter what the subject. I know I'm very behind on reading but I shall get there.

    I love you very much. I would also love you to have a honeymoon, you deserve it my friend xxx

  6. You are not boring. Never-ever-ever. :) You're awesome. :)

  7. Yes, you're so boring I stop by every day! :)
    You know I'm kidding you.

    I find myself at a loss about what to write these days. My life seems stale to stale I censor myself from writing about it.

  8. This was all just so beautiful to me. Not the part where you say you are stale and boring, but the bits about sex and love and hippies. I love you, my sweet hippie Mama.

  9. The world is blogarific. I was thinking about many of the same things today but didn't get to reading your blog until late on the west coast! I went to a Korean spa and walked around naked for hours, seeing all sorts of bodies naked too and letting Korean women in black underwear and bras scrub and massage me. I guess I'll write about it over at the blog, but maybe not.

    You're so not stale, by the way.

  10. ...and hell, who hasn't gone to the drugstore and bought kwell...

    ...mushroom tea...

    ...wild monkey sex...

    stale and boring does not make me laugh so hard


  11. Are you kidding me? You? Stale and boring? NEVER!!!
    And you never know about the grandparents. Their generation weren't exactly forthcoming with talks about sex, or even public displays of affection.

  12. Boring women are hot.

  13. Birdie- When we women LOVE, truly love, sex is so much more than just a physical act. And it takes more energy, physical AND spiritual AND emotional than we have sometimes. Weird- the more we love, sometimes the harder it is. Which men sometimes have a hard time understanding because women are from earth and men are from Penis. That's my observation, anyway.

    SJ- I hear ya, baby.

    Angella- Thank you for the reassurance. Now- can you come and make me feel better about my LIFE???
    Love you so.

    Lora- Just knowing that there are deep rivers within you makes me happy. YOU make me happy.

    Christina- Please do not feel that you have to go back and read every word. So much of what I say is same-same. You're precious.

    Nicol- And so are you, you midwestern girl.

    Mel's Way- Just give us pictures. I love those pictures of your life.

    May- And I adore and love you.

    Elizabeth- Wait! What? YES! BLOG ABOUT THAT! Please???

    Michelle- Okay. Here's the truth- I never got crabs from sex but I have surely gotten head lice from my children.
    I love you.

    Angie M- You're right. But still- I would be shocked, shocked, shocked!

    Jeannie- I'm so glad.

    Mungam- Well then, darling, I am your dream girl. Dream grandmother. Whatever.

  14. Knock on wood, I've never bought Kwell, which is amazing considering I've applied it to so many patients!

    I really dig sex. And I would be interested in anything you have to say about it because today I am 36 but I will turn around soon and find myself to be 56. And my mama won't tell me anything.

    I don't mind sharing things if I think they may help someone else. But my husband is not always agreeable to having our hot lovin' sessions detailed on the internet. Every once in awhile, he does such a bang-up job, I can't help myself though :o)

  15. Well. I don't know. I think your relationship with Mr M is inspiring and enduring, not stale and boring in any way - I for one would be HAPPY to hear about grandmother's sex lives, but, well, you know me :)

    I'm 35, now, and - well, I'm sure you're getting more than me, as I am getting precisely none, and may never again, as I feel so much closer to 50 than 17 right now.

    So if you've got it, celebrate it, I say.

  16. Ms. Trouble- Men are so funny that way. What's up with that?

    Jo- Get this shit figured out before your forties because in my experience, that's when the real fun can begin.

  17. The amount of energy one has for wild monkey sex diminishes.

    Truer words never typed. Laugh. When a bitch has the time and privacy, a bitch no longer has the inclination. Sigh.

  18. I am one of those who finds monogomy WAY more exciting than I would have thought when I was young and drinking and single and all that. Which sounds boring, maybe, but-it just ISN'T. But-hell. Right now I am higely pregnant and I WANT to but it just isn't FUN right now, know how it is.

    Am I the only person who has never heard of Kwell?

  19. I couldn't sleep last night and was miserable. I tried to get cool in the living room, laid with my phone on the couch and read this post and calmed down and smiled.
    Thank you for writing everyday.
    Thank you for spilling out your glorious heart.

  20. Ms. Bastard-Beloved- Mother Nature is a bitch. Damn her.

    Kori- Oh, you know, I've had some mighty fine times while pregnant. I'm not kidding you.
    Kwell is a medicated shampoo for killing head and body lice. Aka, crabs.

    Bethany- It helps me so much to know that my words sometimes bring you some peace. Thank you for telling me that.

  21. I have never had a problem with the idea of older people having sex, because my parents have always made it so plain that they were at it. And still are. Which made it so normal to me. So while I'm not saying you should write about anything that makes you feel uncomfortable, I don't think it would make people uncomfortable. Not the right people anyway. I definitely hope sex won't go away for me when I age. And I'm also hoping for a reappreciation of body hair - the hippy way - because I get freaked out by all the hairless genitalia. So there.

  22. The hippy life and innocence was sweet. When one is truly young all things are possible. I remember stripping naked and washing in a horse trough, proud of my natural state. Not many opportunities to do that now, except on the secret island.

  23. Hate getting old, although I do still have all the original parts.

  24. Mwa- Me too with the hairless genitalia. I mean, okay, whatever, but really? Only children are hairless which sort of freaks me out.

    Syd- It is good to have a secret island.

    Nick- Me too but they sure don't look the same.

  25. here after a long long time. feels like forever.

    and I have to add , that it isn't courage so much, as just a difference. sometimes it takes courage to not say or share. I admire Maggie for being true to herself, it's her life, and I admire people who are completely private, because that feels true to them. I think it certainly limits the things I can write about, but I don't see that as a negative.

  26. Deb- Dearheart, I agree. But if the heart wants to share more, then it is an act of courage sometimes to do so.
    It's complex, no?


Tell me, sweeties. Tell me what you think.