You Can't Make This Stuff Up

Owen is coming soon, soon and I will be making his mama an egg sandwich to send her off to work with and then I'll be cuddling that boy and maybe I'll put him in the sling and we'll go out to check the chickens and inspect all the branches yesterday's storm slung into the yard. Can I just say that having one of the world's oldest water oaks in my yard is not something I appreciate? Those damn trees, unlike the live oaks, are generous with their branches, donating them like old men who give their cast-off ties and shit-beat shoes to Goodwill.
Pecans are pretty generous trees too, when it comes to branch donation.

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There's a critter living above the ceiling on the porch which sounds as he weighs at least forty pounds. I heard his ponderous tread above my head this morning and worried that he would fall through the boards above me. Sometimes I wonder how many animals live in this house with me (and I am not talking about the dogs or Mr. Moon) but mostly I'd just rather not know. I am hoping that when spring comes, they'll pack all their bags and head back to the woods where they belong. If they don't, they'll roast up there. This will not smell good, oh my beloveds.

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Rehearsal last night went pretty darn well. As Larry David would say, pret-ty, pret-ty well. We are learning our lines, even me, and as we do, our characters take on shapes and lives of their own. I think it is a sign that this is a funny play in that we still crack up at certain lines. Either that or we are all old and easily amused. That, too, is fine because hopefully, our audiences will skew that way too.

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SWEET HOLY JESUS!
Having just written about the critters in my house, a black object came swooping across the porch and at first I thought, logically, BIRD, because they do get in the house some times but NO! IT'S A FUCKING BAT AND GOD! I AM AFRAID OF BATS!
I have no idea why but it may be all those years of watching horror movies and it may be their little dog faces and their leather wings and black toenails and NEITHER JESSIE NOR HER FATHER ARE HERE TO USHER THE BAT OUT AND BESIDES THAT, WHERE THERE IS ONE BAT, THERE ARE MANY!
My heart is beating like a drum. But I did take a picture:


No. It's not a good picture but believe me, I had to put on my big girl panties to take that one.

I have the doors from the house to the porch closed and the screen door to the outside wide open and I am praying the little mammal finds his way outside.

Oh Jeez. What a morning and as Lily said one time and which Mr. Moon and I often quote when things around here get just a bit too wild:

TOO MUCH NATURE!

I'll report in later and let you know how things have gone. Hopefully, I'll still be human and not a vampire.

Good Lord.