Monday, January 11, 2010

None Of This Goes Together Because I'm Too Cold To Think

Well the pipes have not frozen, we still have a tiny bit of gas, the space heater did not explode, it's forty-eight degrees in the house and the dogs are alive.

I'd say we're doing well.
Of course, I don't even want to think about what's under those sheets on the front porch.

Dead things. I see dead things.

Last night when I went to herd Miss Betty and Miss Daffodil back into the hen house, I stayed in there for awhile and watched the settling-down ritual of the chickens. I don't know why, but this just purely fascinates me. There's such an order to it all. Sam settles on a roost with Mable right next to him and some of the hens get in the laying boxes which I think is pretty smart. I'd put extra straw in them for warmth. I shoved Betty into one of the boxes with Daffodil and then Elvis jumped in too, trying to arrange his big bulk comfortably. He ended up pecking at Betty and she scurried out of there and landed down on the ground and I realized that my help was not needed. The birds have their own way and the best I can do is just get out of their way and let them figure it out. I may not understand it but I'm not a chicken.

"Sleep well, my babies," I told the chickens and came back inside the house. This morning they all seem fine and dandy and I gave them corn and kitchen scraps and let Betty out and gave her grapes in a tiny bowl and then went and scattered some corn for Miss Feral Carol. I have no idea where she sleeps- it's not on her nest- and no idea where she gets water but she seems to do fine and is perhaps the most prolific layer of all of the hens and if that's not a lesson, I don't know what is. I wonder why chickens have allowed themselves to be domesticated. It's obvious to me that they don't really need our fancy coops and grapes.

But I'm grateful that they do. It's not so much the eggs they give us although those eggs are like jewels to me.

It's the fact that I share my life with these other animals. As AJ pointed out in her post from last night, "OMG! Nature is awesome!"

Indeed it is.

And humans are fascinated with animals, both the ones we live with and the ones people have to go deep into the jungle or forest or oceans to study and film.

I watch the Discovery channel sometimes but I'd rather just go look at my chickens. I feel like a field anthropologist when I study them. They each have their own personalities, they have their own rituals and customs and rules and laws. They have their own pecking order. There is a cock of the walk. And it is no mystery to me why penises are referred to as cocks. None whatsoever, even though I've never actually seen a cock's cock and probably never will. I see what they do with them and that, quite frankly, is enough for me.
And more than enough for the hens but they seem to tolerate those quick assaults and then they sleep next to the rooster who assaulted them. Not for me to judge. I ain't a chicken. And as every good field anthropologist knows, it's not fair or right to judge the ones being observed by any other society's mores or customs.

But I can and will separate Miss Betty from her attacker every day although I can't tell her where to sleep.

And here I am, in my not-very-warm house with my dogs sleeping all around me, the space heater plugged in, waiting for the gas guy. The dogs are another sort of animal which have taken up with humans although I don't see the value in them as much as I see the value in the chickens. I suppose they are not as exotic to me. Dogs. They're more like relatives which have come to stay and never leave. Old Auntie Pearl, Silly Son Zeke, Crazy Cousin Buster, Simple Sweet Sister Dolly.

And no, Dolly is not in that picture. Don't bother looking.

Sam is crowing, I am waiting, the dogs are sleeping. It is cold. Mr. Moon just called and said, "It's cold as a witch's woo-woo out there," and I laughed and said, "I'm going to steal that one from you."

And I have. But I gave him credit.

So that's Monday in Lloyd and in a while I am going to go to town and baby-sit my grandson for a few hours and maybe I'll read him the book with the chicken in it and we'll have a chat about chickens and their ways. He listens to anything I say if he's in the right mood. I like that about Owen. He studies me the way I study chickens.

We all have a lot to learn, don't we?
And I think what we've learned in the past few days is to check the damn gas tank more frequently in the winter.

I'll quit babbling now. It's colder than a witch's woo-woo and I need to do some laundry.

Remind me of all of this next August, okay? When I'm complaining about the ninety-eight degree heat and the chickens are drooping around the coop, too hot to scratch for bugs, too dispirited to lay any eggs.

Heh-heh. I like that phrase. "Too dispirited to lay eggs."

So I'll leave you with that one. Stay warm. Bundle up. Colder than a witch's woo-woo. Do not be too dispirited to lay eggs.
In fact, do not be dispirited at all if you can help it. I'm not. The roosters certainly aren't and let's all be inspired by their grand rooster-spirit.

Happy Monday. I'll try to do better tomorrow when hopefully, we will have heat.

Love...Ms. Moon

15 comments:

  1. Oh, damn, woo-woo is brilliant. We say colder than a witch's tit. And of course, cold enough to freeze the balls off a brass monkey. It's all thaw and slush here now. The heavy snow nevermade it where Ilive, which is kind of a disappointment. Ah well.

    Spam word, morte. Those poor plants :(

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  2. Baggy sure fussed at me this morning when I finally pushed her off and got rolling, I tell you what.

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  3. "relatives which have come to stay and never leave"

    A-fucking-MEN

    And rooster-spirit :) I need to keep that in mind.

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  4. have a grand day, Ms. Moon.
    I think that was a bit of a scramble egg, but I'm not fussy.
    As long as they're not cold. :)

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  5. I want your life and I want it NOW!! And that includes your blog! :) Could I tempt you with a trade for my life in the Yucatan? ;)

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  6. I love you Mary Moon! Do try and stay warm. I hate the damn cold. At least you don't have snow. We do here in Buttfuck, Ohio.

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  7. I just love the colours of your eggs! They certainly are like jewels!
    Nature is wonderful, in all of her dresses!
    Almost all of the snow is gone here too, only the grey slush, that will freeze hard later. More snow is expected during the week though!
    Oh well, roll on Spring, when Mother Nature can wear her new dress of green!
    Stay warm and well, Ms Moon!

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  8. This is something I totally understand. Even though I've been up here so long, I shiver all winter. I layer and layer and layer and turn up the heat. I huddle in a little room with an extra space heater. My husband has to make me go out the worst three months. By April he is saying, "You've lost the will to go on, haven't you" because even then it is still too cold. And that word is perfect for the way I feel by April. Dispirited.

    Some of us aren't meant to live in the cold for a long time. I was okay with it for years. I didn't like it but I coped. I've never gotten used to it. I won't leave, though, because my teenage son would be heart broken. So. Someday.

    My nephew ("that baby") was fascinated with chickens. As a kid, he would study up on them and order various kinds of chicks, feed them with syringes. They roamed, laid eggs here and there. He took very good care of them. Then he went away to college and his parents sort of watched after them. Eventually they wandered off or the coyotes got the last of them. Sad, but survival of the fittest on that farm, I've always said. That baby travels the world now rock climbing and investigating other cultures. Careful not to have Owen study the chickens TOO carefully.

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  9. Hens aren't so different from lots of humans I know; they still sleep with their attacker, maybe becuase the law of the jungle says hey, he might assualt you BUT he will protect. Seems much more admirable in chickenese than people-ese, doesn't ?

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  10. It's gotten a tiny bit warmer here today. It's actually 32F...WOW! I took the kids out to play in the snow. It's still way too cold though. Where oh where is 75F?! Somewhere in May or September, right?

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  11. I thought about you this morning as I drove to Austin in 27F temp and heard that North Florida was IN THE TEENS!!! It's just not right for the Sunshine State to freeze.

    And Miami is bracing for a deep freeze tonight. The last time Miami froze was Christmas week 1987, when the air got down to 17F and the slow-moving shallow-water reef fish--trunk-fish and frog-fish and the like--died from hypothermia and floated to the surface.

    Stay warm.

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  12. Jo- We say that too, both the witch's tit and the brass balls. So Mr. Moon made up the woo-woo thing. And yes- I am afraid my plants are quite morte.

    DTG- "Uh, Boss. Can't come to work. My cat will die if I do."

    Stephanie- That's what they seem like to me. Little weird relatives who don't have anyplace else to go.

    Deb- I like eggs every which way. But if I leave them in the nest too long, they are cold. But hey- they're raw too.

    Lopo- You sure, dear lady? It's only forty nine degress in my house right now WITH the heat on. But I'll take your offer into consideration. Oh wait- does Mr. Moon go with the trade because that would be a deal-breaker.
    He'd have to come to the Yucatan with me.

    Ms. Bastard- I love you too! And I am grateful for all eternity that I do not have snow.

    Alice- You are so poetic, dear.

    Glimmer- I hope you can move south some day. I hate to think of you so miserable up there. I would DIE. So you think there's a relationship between an early interest in chickens and world travel and rock climbing? Mmmmm....

    Kori- I know. I just really want to anthropomorphise (spell check doesn't like that word but I just looked it up) my chickens but it's not fair to them. The roosters may look like brutes but they are just being roosters.

    Rebecca- 75 sounds real good about now.

    Kathleen- I know. This is fucking crazy.

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  13. "Colder than a witch's woo woo". Ok, I need to use that tomorrow. I'll give Mr. Moon credit of course. Warm thoughts to you Ms. Moon.

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  14. Mel- And let's all keep our woo-woos warm. That's my advice!

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  15. Those eggs are so darn pretty! Hope you stay nice and warm in your lovely, happy home.

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