Theory Of Something

I heard a great program on NPR a few weeks ago about the brain and how we actually make decisions. The author of a book on the subject said he got interested in the whole idea when he was sent to the grocery store to buy Cheerios and stood there in the cereal aisle for thirty minutes trying to figure out which Cheerios to buy- the Apple, the Cinnamon, the Regular, the store-brand, the name-brand, etc. and it freaked him out.

I have often been in that situation in the grocery store. Too much choice! I yell inside my own head where hopefully, no one but me can hear it. And I stand there reading labels, comparing price, and wishing that it didn't seem as if my very life hinged on what type of cereal I bought.

The author (and I'd look him up but do I have time? No. I do not) talked about how our brains can actually only hold a few things in them at one time and there is the logical part of the brain which we would THINK would be the decision-making part and there is also the emotional part of the brain which is far more important in deciding which sweater or cereal or baggies to buy. People who have had the emotional part of their brain destroyed or removed are paralyzed when it comes to decision-making. Completely paralyzed.

And he talked about another study in which people had been given a two-digit number to memorize and another group had been given a seven-digit number to memorize and then both groups had been offered a snack- which involved a choice. Either a nice, healthy fruit salad or some chocolate, gooey confection.
The people who had memorized the two-digit number were overwhelmingly apt to chose the fruit while the seven-digit number people chose the chocolate.

Which seems to indicate that the more shit we have going on in our brains, the less will-power we have.

WHAT???!!!

And yet, think about it. When we're stressed, when we have too much on our minds, our will power goes to shit. Our decision-making becomes more and more emotional and difficult. We all know this.

And it was like seeing a book of knowledge open up to hear about these studies because it suddenly all made sense- our national problems with obesity and addictions, our life-styles, our inability to make and follow through on plans for healthier living.

And of course, our general insanity.

I think my brain is one of those which can hold only so much before the needle goes in the red zone and it is somehow reassuring to know that there is a reason for this. That I'm not alone. And that's what I'm thinking about this morning as I have a full day of things-to-do planned. Some of them things I really WANT to do, and yet, are out of my regular schedule and so, my brain is fussing with details and I have a sense of anxiety and I feel pressured, even though there is no logical reason.
Logic has nothing to do with it.
There.

I've often said that humans are the result of some alien genetic experiment between themselves and the apes and some people are way more ape and some people are way more alien. Now THAT little scientific tidbit has not been proven, of course, but it sure does explain a lot.

And I think I have a strange mix of ape-alien inside of me. I want desperately to create, to experience, to reach-out, to DO, and yet, an even stronger desire to follow and pick the ripening berries, to make my nest comfortable and safe, to tend to the infants, to tend to my family-tribe.
And when things like lines for a play, plans for a day, jumble up in my head, my decision-making, my emotions go haywire and I feel paralyzed.

Well. That's it. I'm going to try and remember this as I go about my day. Try to breathe and be in the moment, clear the slate in my head of all those seven-digit numbers, and make good choices and dammit- enjoy what I can.

And please remember- I am not a doctor, I am not a scientist, I do not even play one on TV. I am just an ape-alien woman who has thoughts sometimes and hears things on the radio which, of course, adds to the clutter in her ape-alien brain and her theories are merely that and please- do not try this at home without consulting a professional.

Have a nice day.