Gibson Gets A Gig

Well, Gibson Monroe did something today at the age of approximately three months and a week that I have never done in my life.

The child made money at an acting gig.

Not a LOT of money, but it was money. HE HAD A PAID GIG!

Freddy was filming some baby food commercial (all organic!) and needed a baby. We happened to have one. It was awesome. Gibson appeared to be a natural on camera. We shall see, of course, if the video camera loves him as much as the regular camera does.
I went with Lily and I stayed with Owen who napped in the car for most of the shoot but I got to see some of it. Everyone, of course, loved our baby boy. Freddy was holding him and goo-gooing him and jingling keys for him even when he didn't need a smile for the camera.

"How many babies have you held, Freddy?" I asked.
"Are you kidding? After this one, uh, one."
Then he said that no, really, he'd held lots of babies.

Mmmm...

But before we left, after the shoot was over, he asked if he could hold him one more time. As if he didn't already have my heart by calling me "mama." Then he asked his girlfriend if she wanted to hold him. She did.
Again I say, "Mmmmmm...."

Like I said, Owen was asleep for most of it but when he woke up I played with him outside for a little bit before Lily and I switched places, she outside with Owen, me in the house with Gibson. And I have to tell you that it struck me again how Owen is growing ever more beautiful every day. I'm not just saying that. He is. He is changing so rapidly from baby to boy that it startles me. It's as if he changes literally in the blink of an eye. He's just...oh god. He's gorgeous.
Yeah, yeah. I'm his grandmother but I am not kidding you. That kid is a stunner. Those eyes!

Ah, what can I say? I'm in love. I'm in love with Owen and I'm in love with Gibson and that's all there is to it. I'm a fool for them, I adore them, I love my entire family more because of them because I see all of their genes in these babies and it's like a big ol' twirly-whirly basket of mixed-up glory.

All right. I'll simmer down now.

It was just a darn good day. I had that great sleep, got up early, took my walk, washed a million and two loads of clothes, got the sheets washed and the bed all made up nice, went to the library, watched Gibson be a movie star, went to the grocery store, came home and did some yard work. Mostly I picked up branches and twigs. After two large Rubbermaid carts of THAT, I came in the house and said, "That is too much like work." I hate to tell you how sore I'm going to be from that "gentle" exercise. But every fucking twig you pick up requires another bend to the ground and I've noticed lately that I'm getting very lazy about bending down to the ground. It's not that I can't, it's just...oh hell. I have to THINK about it before I do it! Getting old sucks the big one.
Well, except for the grandchildren part. I guess that's Old Age's reward.
Something sure as hell has to be.

And I'm grateful for this good day. We have power. Lily and Jason have power. We have food to eat and a house to live in and...
Oh you know. I talk about it all all the time.
Do I have problems? Oh yes, I do. Do I have anxiety? You better believe it. Do I wish I was stronger, more flexible, prettier, thinner, a better wife and a better mother? You bet.

But. That's life.

And I am not staring the gift of this life in the mouth. I'm putting the saddle on and riding down the trail as far as it takes me. Yippie Ki-Yay, motherfuckers, as Bruce Willis said in Die Hard.


And I swear to you, I do not curse in front of my grandchildren. Can you believe that?
It's true. Around them I am tender and loving and my language is pure.
My beautiful grandsons, one of whom earned money today at the age of three months and one week.
First a tooth, and now this.

Amazing. Just...fucking amazing.

Power Is ON

Quite unbelievably to me, the power came back on, just as I was starting supper. I have a gas stove so I can cook even if the power is out and I had just gotten the brown rice out and was fixing to start it up.
I was so sure that we would be without power for the entire night that I didn't even turn on the overhead light in the kitchen. Mr. Moon, when he got home, pointed this out to me.
I guess I felt as if I was destined to be in darkness tonight.

It could still happen.

When I was at Lily's with the boys today, a mysterious power outage happened. Some of the power was on in some of the rooms, and other rooms were without. So strange!
Jason got home and we did all the things you do. We flipped the breakers (I'd already done that) and he even went up into the attic looking for something there but found nothing. He was going out the front door to go ask the next door neighbors if their power was out when he saw...a huge branch which had fallen and taken a line with it.

"Snap!" he said.

Indeed.

He called the city and they said it would be several hours before they could come out and to cut off all the power in the house to be safe. He packed up diapers and clothes and formula and we got the boys in his car and he took them to his mama's. I knew the odds were real good that the power was out at my house, which it was when I got home.

I had texted Mr. Moon to stop and get ice and a battery powered coffee maker and oh, maybe some rum and he texted me back, "Got you covered!" Of course, he knew we didn't really need a battery-powered coffee maker. We have an old fashioned percolator that Lis got me which works fine in a pinch. We didn't really need rum either, but he brought some home.
I love that man.

The rain is pouring down. The ground is not going to accept a whole lot more, I fear. I remember a few years ago when something like this happened and we watched the water rise and rise and...rise. This is not a huge storm but it surely is affecting us.

Storms like this serve to remind me of how close we are to losing all semblance of civilization. Roads are blocked from flooding, power goes out, we are stranded. Branches and trees fall, it is almost as dark as night at noon, and we are left without internet or phone. After a storm that hit here the year we moved to Lloyd, cell towers were taken out as well and so there was not even that. I think of Freddy's movie, Disconnected, and I realize it's not that much of a fantasy. All of our carefully packed-away freezer stuff slowly thaws and we either cook it or lose it which can be a tragedy of small but real proportions and if we couldn't make it to grocery stores where power has been restored, we really would go hungry.

Well. Maybe it's good to be reminded. And living in a house which was built way before electricity was invented is somehow comforting. We would hardly be the first to survive without it although those people, the people who built the house, were set up for it. We most definitely are not.

My rice is almost done. I can go make a salad in the light.

Thanks for listening. It helps leak my anxiety to write about it, let it go.

Sort of.

Yours truly...Ms. Moon

A Film With My Chicken Coop In It!

Ah lah. I am feeling fairly worthless, not having accomplished much at all today although yes, I guess I did get a few things done. I don't know. I need to stop comparing myself to Hillary Clinton.
And hey- does Hillary have chickens to tend?
See. I don't think so.

But, none of that is either here nor there. Just another day in North Florida and it turned hot as hades and of course I had to wait around until the mercury hit the danger zone to go take a walk and I don't think I've recovered yet and I doubt I will until oh, maybe tomorrow.

Anyway, Freddy sent me the link to the little film he shot here (mostly) last month and I'm going to share it. He made it for a 48-hour guerrilla film competition and they gave him one line of dialogue which had to be included (this ensures that no one gets a head-start on anything) and so the entire thing was written, cast, shot, and edited in 48 hours. He gave me credit at the end for production assistent or something like that. Which is funny. But hey! I can put it on my resume!

Sure.

So here it is. You can see how badly parts of my house need painting and also see some of the stuff in my office. Also, some good acting. Owen Provencher of the beautiful face is in there along with the very talented Laura Johnson who is a Doll McDollface who has been known to bring me Tito's vodka and drink it with me.

Okay. Enough. Here it is.

Living The Good Life

I swear to you, the next time Freddy asks if he can do a few shots out here, I am going to ask, "What kind?" and if the answer isn't tequila or vodka, I am going to say, "No."

Oh. Not really.

It was a long day. He has forty-eight hours to write a script, film it, and edit it. And he spent eight of those hours out here today. I helped in my own inept way, mostly holding a sound device and don't ask me what the hell it was, it's not the boom mic.

I am also there for him to look at with a raised eyebrow (no one does a raised eyebrow quite like Freddy) to see what I think and also, I am there for him to throw lines at and say, "What do you think about this line?"
And then I tell him.
What I think.
I also provide bug spray, water, small snackage, encouragement, jokes, coffee, and directorial suggestions which are mostly (and wisely) ignored. AND, chicken behavior instruction. Part of the filming today was done in front of the hen house and twice hens were on the nest and then got off and cackled and Elvis ran to them and collected his hens and took them back to the flock and filming was delayed and I had to explain what the hell was going on.

But honestly, I am tired. Real tired. As in, I think that tomorrow, I am going to be right here, planted on my butt or lying down the entire day. It's time to rest and see if I can shake this virus although I don't have much hope for that. Jessie and Vergil STILL feel like shit and it's been two weeks for them, plus a few days. I have been invited to one cast party tomorrow and also one community gathering in Lloyd. I may not attend either. I might, but then again, I might not. I am old and I can do what I want. Or need.
Sometimes.
Tomorrow may be one of those times. I have to gird my loins and energy so that I can spend a day with Owen and another day with Owen, his mama, and Gibson next week. I am suffering from lack of such-time spent. Also, I haven't gotten to see Hank in at least a week. And May's got a birthday coming up.  Gotta see my babies. The house work can go to hell and the laundry can languish but I HAVE TO SEE MY BABIES!
 And get my hands on them.

I just got a text from Freddy. He wants to take me and Mr. Moon out for dinner to thank us. He's a good boy, that Freddy. It's sort of funny that he brings a film crew out here and lets me meet people and see others that I already know and love and I don't even have to leave the property. I don't even have to put on a bra! It's sort of crazy but I like it. I think he's filmed at least four films here. When he gets rich and famous, he won't be coming to Lloyd any more so I'm enjoying it while I can.

All right. Speaking of my babies, Mr. Moon and Jason and Owen are on their way here after going out into the woods and tearing down last year's hunting stuff and I need to make a salad. I just talked to Owen on the phone. I said, "I'm making salad," and he said, "I like salad!"

It's a good life. Right here in Lloyd, Florida.

It's a real good life. 

A Very Short Short

And if I'm not mistaken, that voice on the phone is none other than that of FC Rabbath's.

Oh My God, It Was So Fun!

F.C. Rabbath and Vanessa Vandy.

Me.

Freddy and me. I made him put his sunglasses on so he'd be cool.
It worked, didn't it?

Mr. Moon being a movie star. Isn't he darling?

Yes, yes he is.


From a Jacksonville Arts magazine.

That's acting, y'all.
Ha!

All pictures were taking on an iPhone and I am totally getting one of those ASAP. It GPS'ed us right there and took pictures and looked up stuff for us and I don't even know what. I'm convinced. I think Mr. Moon is too.
Freddy took all the pictures, of course, except for the one I took of him and Vanessa. Aren't they precious? Yes. Yes they are.

The part of Jacksonville we were in was just charming as hell. I'd love to go back and explore. The venue was an old downtown theater and we ate lunch at a funky little Italian restaurant.
There WAS popcorn at the theater. I had some.

And now we are already home and I'm back in my overalls and about to go plant Maw-Maw some turnips. The day is as bright as a newly-minted dime and I'm in about as good a mood as I've been in forever.

If I gave an awards acceptance speech it would go like this:
"I'd like to thank Freddy Rabbath and Glen Moon. Two completely different sorts of men with completely different sorts of special talents but united in one very uncommon and special way- the both make me feel beautiful just as I am.
Which means they are magic."

Now. Time to go plant the turnips.

Good Lord, I'm happy.

It's Here!

And now, the moment we've all been waiting for.
First Taste is up.
Old Freddy's done it again and I like it. If you want to see many parts of my house (besides a good short film with some excellent acting) and hear Elvis crow, please- watch this.
Enjoy.
Love...The Dead Woman

First Taste of First Taste

Movie Making

One thirty-three a.m. and this is what's happening in Lloyd.
I gotta tell you. I'm watching some really dedicated people here. And I'm loving it.

And So Forth

The light in the backyard is so sweet this morning, as it usually is, and here I sit on my back porch and I note it and it pleases me and the birds come to the feeder and the dogs drowse around me and it is cool again today.

I went to take a picture of the light on the group of plants right outside the back door and as usual, the picture is not nearly as pleasing as the reality.

But sitting there on the back steps I saw something and thought, Oh yes, there they are.
The hurricane lilies are back as I knew they would be after that rain we got from Tropical Storm Lee. They grow straight up out of the sandy dirt and if there is anything on this planet which grows faster than bamboo, it is the hurricane lily. They were not here yesterday but this morning they look like this:

Every year I think I will dig up some of the bulbs when they have finished blooming and plant them somewhere more appropriate than the dirt under the magnolia but I never do. They are almost more of a gift, growing there where nothing else will grow. And although I always expect them, they are still, somehow, a surprise when they show up.
Isn't that just like life?

Well. Good morning. It is Monday. The 9/11 remembrances are over once again. How we do love an anniversary. I think we're wired that way. I think our bodies remember them even if we forget. The way the light slants, the way the air feels- these things bring us back to moments and days of years before. I always think of Cozumel this time of year because we have so often been planning a trip there to celebrate our anniversary at the end of October. I find myself seeing images of the blue and green and purple water, of the old tile that makes up part of the sidewalks, and when I throw garlic into the pot to cook I am taken right back there so strongly, remembering the way the air smells as suppertime approaches, as the sun sets and the restaurants get ready for the dinner crowd.
That is a good anniversary.

But there are so many kinds. And the anniversary of the time the hurricane lilies bloom is a good one too. They, like my memories, like the images I hold inside my heart, spring up almost as if from nowhere. From the sandy dirt of the backyard.

Well, the chickens want out and they day is proceeding and it's time for me to get out there in it. I have noticed a funny thing which is that when I let the chickens out into their run in the mornings, Elvis and his new hens race out to peck at the feeder, to sip water, but the older hens, Dolly and Mable and Miss Bob, remain on their perches, wanting a few more winks of sleep, I suppose. When Owen is here, this disturbs him. He wants them to come down and run out to eat the corn he's scattered. "Fly!" he tells them. And they look at him and ignore him but I sometimes go to their perches and pick them up and hold them and ask if he wants to pet them and he says no, down, so I set them down and their day begins.

The day begins. Over and over and over again. Each the same, each so very different.

And in another and completely unrelated topic, Freddy has released a new film. I remember the day he told me about the concept and I liked it a lot and here he has done it. Every film he makes seems to me to show huge growth and progress. He is not unlike the hurricane lilies in that growth.

Well. Here it is. He loves the comments so if you have one, please offer it.




Good Monday to you all.

Love...Ms. Moon

A Saturday Of Work

Mr. Moon and I have spent most of the day over at Mother's old house and it is mostly cleaned out. And I brought home way too much stuff and dammit! I did not want to do that! But what the hell do you do with old pictures?

Anyway, now we're off to Gadsden County to get some chickens. The theory goes that if we get them in the dark on the roost and bring them back here and put them in with our chickens in the dark, all will be well.
We shall see how this goes.

Anyway, Freddy's children's book is coming out and here's a video of the book. Of course he made a video of the book. His girlfriend, Vanessa Vandy did the illustrations. I think it is charming. He wants feedback so...give it to him! Let your kids see it? Tell him what they think? You can comment here and he'll read what you say.
Thank you so much.

More tomorrow, y'all. Hope all is well with you.

I Am SO Proud Of Freddy! (And Damn, I Wish I Was In The Movie)

http://www.mov-e.co.za/shorts/winner-of-the-48-hour-guerrilla-film-competition-announced/

Acting Class

I will not speak of forms. Forget it, no way, ain't happening.

So. On to foxes.

Ms. Fleur, my next-door neighbor, called St. Francis today to see if there was a way the fox could be humanely trapped and released elsewhere. For a myriad of reasons, the biologist she spoke with made it fairly clear that no, there was not. Ms. Fleur has a gentler soul than I do. When she told me the whole story on the phone I said that every where that humans move we are displacing some sort of indigenous population, whether animal or vegetable (or mineral too, for that matter) and that as humans, we have to accept that, try our best to keep it to a minimum and adapt to the situation in which we find ourselves.
I believe that, too.

Okay. On to acting.
I went to an audition/acting class thing today at Freddy's house. This, of course, would be part of the basis of the dream I had this morning and I actually spent three hours doing something that had nothing to do with my family or my immediate friends, unless you count Freddy, and I do. The whole time I was there I fought feelings of guilt- I should have been helping Mother pack. I should have been weeding the squash. Whatever.

I believe I am the only person in Freddy's posse of actors and possible-actors who has never attended an acting class. And I do not feel intimidated by this. Perhaps I should be.
At one point, Freddy asked for a show of hands of people in the room whose main goal in life was to support themselves by acting.
I could not raise my hand.
I would LOVE to support myself with acting but if I had my dream-come-true, it would be to support myself with writing. That's just the bottom-line truth of the matter. I do love to act. It is a joy in my life and I adore Freddy for giving me the chance and also the people at the Opera House but let's face it- I could give it up for the rest of my life and it would be a regret but there is no way in hell I could give up writing even for a week without going insane.
And there you have THAT.

Anyway, to me acting is a magical thing. It is all about flipping a switch and becoming someone else with that person's emotions and movements and actions. Give me a character, tell me the situation, and oh, please, please, please, give me someone to do this thing with, and I can do it. I can become someone else. In a way, I do not want to take classes because if I learned how the process worked, the magic might disappear.
I realize this is not a practical method for learning to act. Or even a rational one.

Freddy gave me and another girl whom I worked with in the last film I did with him a quick sketch and gave us ten minutes to come up with a one-minute scene. We did it and at the end, I welled up with tears because for that moment, I became the person I was supposed to be and that girl became the person who was making me cry and rage and it was sweet, simple magic.
For me, at least.

It's all about imagination, it seems to me. And I think that when you grow up in an iffy situation you have to learn to become very, very good at judging other's emotions and figuring out where those emotions come from and perhaps most importantly, where those emotions might land. Before you are ten years old, you have what is equivalent to a PhD in psychology and learning how to be whatever it is that the adults around you WANT you to be.
Fucked-up childhood = Good Training Ground For Writing and Acting.
I doubt anyone would disagree with me on this one.

So that was my day and I enjoyed it. I enjoyed watching other people become other people and I took internal notes on things I might want to use and things I just don't care to ever even think about. And Freddy may or may not call me to act in another of his films. I hope he does. It gives me huge pleasure and joy to be a part of that man's expression and talent and I will always love him for giving me the opportunity. There were people there today with whom I would love to work with. Who can fall into another character with ease and no obvious machinations.

And now I'm home, cooking beans and chicken and potatoes and leeks and tomorrow I'll go to Thomasville with Kathleen and Judy to meet with Dr. McCutey Pie to hear the results of Kathleen's latest scan and I am sure the news will be good, having observed how well Kathleen is doing, and so it goes.

A different sort of day but a good one. One in which I was challenged to define what I must do, what I love to do, and what that means in my life. One in which I was allowed to step into another's life, to create something out of nothing with another person, one in which I have been given all of these gifts, unasked for and yet freely offered.

And when Freddy asked that question about acting as a main passion in our lives, I was given the gift of knowing that it IS a main passion in my life but that I have more than one and if all of the paths of my life have led to this, then I can only say with great humbleness, thank-you. And I am so grateful to know that this is true, that there is more to my life than laundry and cooking and tending. That yes, these are the sacred dirt from which I grow, but there are other things which are the holy water which restores my soul.

Amen.

You Have Your Fantasies, I Have Mine

So I got a Facebook message from Mr. Rabbath

this morning that said, "Guess what! You're getting an IMBd for As I Am!"

And I wrote back, "Uh, Freddy, what's an IMBd?"

And he answered, "Integrated Missile Data Base."

So of course I googled the IMBd and then I called Freddy. He patiently explained to me that it's a huge data base of movies (not missiles, not really) and As I Am is going to be in there which means that I'll be in there as an actor.
Just like Brad Pitt!



Haha!

He said it'll take a few weeks. He's already in there for other movies. Freddy, that is. We're not talking about Brad Pitt any more.

I find this to be hysterical. Okay, not the part where Freddy or his movies are in there but the part where I will be in there.

I could use this on a resume! For a job!
I mean, the world is tired of Meryl Streep, right?




She's done it all.
I would like to meet Bill Murray.




I'll be honest with you. But Wes Anderson already has Anjelica Houston.



So, forget that.

Well. So it goes. One never knows in this life. Someday I might just get to meet Bill Murray.

If he ever comes to Lloyd.

Actually, I could see Freddy getting Bill Murray in a part for one of his movies. Freddy is going to do bigger and bigger things.
Okay- New fantasy:

Freddy gets Bill Murray to be in a movie. Freddy shoots the movie here at my house in Lloyd.



I am in it. Plus, I cook for everyone.
Bill Murray sees the pictures of him I have in my bathroom. He is charmed.
We become like best friends.
We all hang out in Lloyd and watch the chickens have before-bed sex with the sprinklers on the garden and then we eat chicken and dumplings. Bill sleeps in the Panther Room.

Oh yeah.

And wait- WAIT, WAIT, WAIT!
BB KING (my daddy)




DOES THE SOUND TRACK!!!!
And he comes and hangs out too! He brings Lucille and plays music while I cook him up some grouper (he doesn't eat land-animals) and oh my god- FREDDY- hurry up! Bill, BB, and I are not getting any younger!

Okay. Back to reality. Buster just finished Pearl's canned dog food breakfast for her and then peed on the floor next to the bowl (sometimes he pees IN the bowl) and I have to clean it up. I think he's trying to show me that the canned dog food is HIS and not Pearl's.

And that, folks, is my real life.

(But seriously, Freddy- you can do this. You can make my dream come true.)

Love...Ms. Moon

A Review!

Freddy's film, As I Am, which is posted here got a review from Associated Content of Yahoo, whatever that is, and oooh...I'm so happy.

Not only does it refer to Freddy as "Florida wunderkind Fred Rabbath", but it also has some nice things to say about me. And oh yeah, all the other actors. And the music.
Dang. I think the woman liked it.

Go here for the link. If you want to. It's short.

Wow. A review.

As I Am

In this one, my voice is altered but that is my face.
Every wrinkle it.
And this makes me miss my "real" hair.

I think Freddy's done a very nice job with this one.

A Different Sort Of A Monday Night

Haha! That's me!
Or, actually, I suppose a digitalized version of my face- whatever. It's so scary, isn't it?
And here's the funny thing- I am a person who cringes at a photo of herself. Can't stand to see herself in a picture.
But. Shit.
Freddy can do whatever he wants to with my face and I'm all just "Oh, that's so cool. Happy, happy, happy."

We went to see some of Freddy's films in a classroom at FSU yesterday evening, Mr. Moon and I, and it was fun. That boy- he can take a camera and one mic on a boom and a few actors and an idea and TA-DA! a film! And he may only be twenty-four years old (he was twenty-three when I started working with him) but he has some sort of magic in him. Some of his films are sweet, some are scary, some are thought-provoking.
It wasn't long after he made the film Disconnected (on my side bar, if you're interested) about the government using the "kill-switch" on all communications that his native country- Egypt- did just that.
Anyway, it was a fun thing to do, to sit and watch myself and others on a bigger screen. Marcy and Fred were there, and people I'd been in some of the films with.

And when it was over, we decided to go down to the Rusty Bucket and see my son Hank do one of his Trivia Nights there and Marcy and Fred came too and we got Chinese, and Marcy and Fred got a pizza and we sat in the bar and played trivia and ate our yummy take-out foods and it was such a different way to spend a week night (or any night for that matter) and fun, too.

And the world didn't come to an end, even though I did leave Lloyd and that's a good lesson, right there.

One of the films we saw was a shortish one called As I Am, which is where the picture above came from and he just finished editing it and I'll post it here when he gets it up on Youtube. That one was mostly shot on the coldest day of the year and I'll never forget how it actually snowed and how freezing we were all day long and how much fun it was.
I think that's the thing about being in Freddy's films. It's just so much damn fun.
And being one of the interesting faces in some of them is just a joy. I am so grateful to that boy for allowing me to be a part of his work.
Last night I hugged him and whispered to him, "You're a genius, Freddy," and I meant it.
Maybe that's why I don't care what I look like in his films (and in half of them, I don't even wear any make-up at all, none) and also because he gets such talented people to act for him and to be a part of that is just something I never knew I could do, never expected I would experience.

If you want to check out some of his older work and some of his newer too, go to his Youtube channel.

And if you want to have a good time on a Monday night playing Trivia, head down to the Rusty Bucket in the K-Mart shopping center. There's a Chinese place on one side and a pizza place on the other.

I recommend the Buddha's Delight and a draft Yuengling.

Take a pen and a group of friends.

All right. Owen's coming any moment. More philosophizing, sermonizing, recipes and gardening adventures to follow as the week progresses, I'm sure.

Happy Tuesday, y'all.

Love...Ms. Moon

Freddy Time Travels

I have to say that even though I'm not in this one, I like it A LOT!

Another Short Film!

Freddy and his lovely Finnish girlfriend have collaborated on a new short film. Check it out if you want. I'm in it. So is my bathroom! And porch!
(See if YOU can find Bill Murray!)

Love...Ms. Moon

I Believe It Is Fixed

Try the trailer again if you want to see it. I think it's correct now.
And hey- it's only 1:27 in length. That's minutes and seconds. No popcorn needed.