Another odd day in that my routine, my sacred routine, was not followed and I am beginning to wonder, or no, not really wonder, if I am becoming a bit OCD about following this daily schedule in order to provide comfort, to allay and control the feelings of angst and anxiety I wake up with daily.
But this was a good day. Lily and Lauren and I met up with Mr. Moon who was already in town (gym day) and we had lunch and then Lily and I went to the Goodwill bookstore and then to a different Asian market from the one I went to last week, and then to a large Goodwill. She wanted to get the kids some clothes and I wanted to find some smaller casserole dishes to suit the smaller meals I am cooking these days for just the two of us who live here.
We did these things and then Mr. Moon called- would I pick up some mower blades? He wanted to mow and the old blades were shot beyond sharpening. We did that.
And now I'm home, and have made a casserole (size large) which is in the oven and will then be frozen for the men to take tomorrow and I'm in the process of making a soup for our supper out of part of a turkey breast I cooked last week and my kitchen is chaos with pots and pans and bowls everywhere and vegetables laid out to slice and chop to put into the soup and it's so hot and why am I making soup?
Because it is easy.
I've been thinking about a dream I had last week that was so powerful. I've even tried to write about it. I may. It was like cracking a door open into my mind which, if I let it be free to go there, sent an emotion to my gut that was so powerful that there was no doubt that this was something I had experienced in real life. Not as portrayed in the dream because that was played out by actors and I knew they were only stand-ins.
Okay. That's enough of that. I will say that it was not a dream of abuse. I have not uncovered any repressed memories. It was a dream of betrayal. And every time I think I may, possibly, have figured out an actual experience I've had which created the so very real emotion in my gut, I realize there may be another one. And then another.
Anyway, the casserole is out of the oven, cooling in preparation to be frozen. The soup is essentially made. And now it's time to go clean up the kitchen. I have survived breaking out of my routine and all is well.
I think that bed will feel very good tonight. I praise all of the scientists, inventors and gods for air conditioning.
It is 102 degrees in Lloyd, Florida.
Here we've returned to April. Weather cool, a bit rainy, back to jackets. I don't envy you the heat.ReplyDelete
I have noticed that need, for people who don't have a weekly 9-5, to create a daily structure. I think it's a basic need, to do with knowing what's next and not feeling adrift ad helpless.
I agree. It is good to have sense of what the day before us holds. The problem comes, I think, when we become anxious at the thought of that schedule being disturbed.Delete
102? oh, you poor dears.....AC or not. Too darned hot! We had a *balmy* 85 today after a week of almost 100..... I'm actually happy with it (though still too hot for me). routine......yes.....we make them to keep ourselves focused,,,,,,,and then break them.......and see what happens. Life goes on........ since I *retired* (not by choice) 5 years ago.....I struggle with routine...... which has mostly gone out the window. glad casserole on tap for Mr Moon and his Dog Island trek.............ReplyDelete
I would be happy to be less tied to a routine. Perhaps that is why I am having the urge to go away for awhile- that is a good way to get out of a routine at least temporarily. But I will tell you that the thought does make me anxious.Delete
Eighty-five sounds wonderful right now.
I’m having horrible dreams about being helpless and in awful situations, due no doubt to my husband’s being in end stage cancer now. In them I screw up his ostomy and catheter bags and he gets angry when honestly he’s very patient. Dreams can be so awful, sometimes it’s nice to wake up isn’t it?!ReplyDelete
This is Dianne by the way. My brain isn’t completely functional right and sorry about the bummer postDelete
Oh, Dianne- I know you must be having such anxiety dreams right now. You are definitely in a most difficult and heart-rending situation. I wish that our minds would respond to such situations by giving us sweet dreams of peace and comfort but they do not. I am so sorry.Delete
You need some opium. Loveliest way to spend a hot day- but then you might get thrown into the slammer so, maybe just chew ice cubes and wear nothing at all. Dream world is the best world, you can always wake up and spadh water on your face and shke it off. Real world ,not so much.ReplyDelete
auto correct is hilarious...sometimes, mostly annoying. I think that Allison fixed the mystery of blogger and firefox screwing up comments! I am back to being linda sue! I sent a card by the way, hope you get it.Delete
I swear- I do so want to try opium before I die. Do you think it would lead to having to score oxy's on the street? GAH!Delete
Some dreams I have are not easily shaken AT ALL! The one I was talking about for instance. They can stay with me for days. There's a lot they have to figure out about how brains create dreams, I think, and how many different body systems are involved. It's so weird and complex.
Yes! I got my card! As I said on your blog- it brought me joy! Thank you!
I'm on holidays and just dragging my ass around. WTF. Oh well. It will pass.ReplyDelete
Oh honey! I'm sorry.Delete
As slow as my life has become, I have a routine. And at the end of each day, I read blogs, generally ending with yours. It's my marker for picking up tomorrow.ReplyDelete
Reading blogs, responding to blogs, responding to the comments I get, and writing my blog are all VERY important parts of my routine. If I am shaken from that by something it truly disturbs me.Delete
102 degrees is way too hot. We had that regularly in the mid-north town I grew up in, we sweated our way through each school day and after the lunch hour our teacher would send us outside two by two to get drinks of water from the tap. In primary school, not high school. Some of the boys would stick their heads under the running tap and come back inside dripping wet and much cooler.ReplyDelete
We make soup because it is so easy. Chop chop chop, simmer simmer, done.
No kidding! This is ridiculous. And it's hotter today. Supposed to be the same tomorrow.Delete
I can remember us going out to the water fountain too! At one end of the hallway, it was a fountain with cool water, at the other end, it was just regular temperature. The cool water one was the luxury. I can also remember the teachers, who got iced tea with their lunches with big chunks of chipped ice in it, brought back a glass to the classroom after lunch and I coveted those glasses of tea so much! I bet they were sweet as sugar.
You're right about soup. And it was good.
Dear God. That's hot. The dream sounds intriguing...once again I am feeling both blessed and cursed that I almost never remember my dreams when I wake up.ReplyDelete
Glen doesn't generally remember his dreams either but he told me this morning he'd been having dreams for two days that he could recall. I asked him what he'd been dreaming about and he said, "Replacing a motor."Delete
That makes sense.
How do poor people get on in Florida with regard to air-conditioning? The rich and those of comfortable means probably run their aircon systems all the time without stopping to consider their energy bills. However, for the poor the cost of it must be prohibitive.ReplyDelete
See what Elf said below. That is the correct information. For those who can afford a window unit, that is their salvation. I remember when I was married to my first husband and we lived in a very small trailer. As you can imagine, the temperature in a long tin box can get quite high. We bought a used AC window unit and put it in our bedroom window and it was so heavenly. We felt guilty because none of our friends had AC. These days the air conditioner isn't keeping up entirely with the heat in my house. It runs all day long and again, as Elf said, the temperatures still get up to the high seventies, maybe even low eighties, depending mostly on how tightly I shut my hall door to the porch. Needless to say I am not using the oven very much.Delete
Elf is also correct in that some people do die from the heat. Especially the elderly. Even with fans, which hopefully most people do have, it can be unbearably hot inside. Quite literally.
Pudding, I’m in SE TN and there are lots of options. Many are sucky options! Like you have a window unit in the room where you sit or sleep, and just shut up in that room. Some old people do die with no AC, or even with AC, if they’re on a fixed income and afraid to run it. Older houses like Mrs Moon’s were build ore AC so they are designed to maximize airflow and they can be surprisingly inexpensive to cool if you’re strategic with your fans and ok with cool = mid or upper 70s indoors. I lived in MS with no AC as a teen in a 90-year-old house and it was balmy but fine.ReplyDelete
You are exactly right in your assessment of the heat situation. And I know that people lived in this house for over a hundred years without AC, just as I lived further south in Florida as a child, without air conditioning. Our schools didn't have them either. I don't know how we stood it.Delete
PS this is ElfReplyDelete
I feel quite ashamed to complain about the piddly 96 degrees here.ReplyDelete
37Paddington: The dream of betrayal. The feelings are so real but I often dream of things that have not happened, things I fear happening, and I feel them in my gut as if they are completely real in my waking life even though they are not, a wallop of sorrow and loss. Our memories are ancient. I hope you solve the mystery, love.ReplyDelete