Tuesday, June 8, 2021

Communication Failure

I really screwed the pooch yesterday when I wrote my post. I did not get my meaning across and I've just spent an hour trying to do just that but this is a subject that is so thorny, so "feminist" (and why is that a bad thing?), so deeply ingrained within our patriarchal culture that I think it would take a book to really say what I want to say. 

And I've deleted it all. 

Hopefully, my thoughts will come together soon in a coherent and rational way and I will be able to write something that I can feel good about. 

Until then, I'll just say that we got some rain today and I am most grateful for that. I took a walk and it was hotter than hell and most unpleasant. 
But once again, I did not die. 
I'm always grateful for that although if I had died, I doubt I would have any feelings about it whatsoever. 

Here is the little chick with the feathery feet. 


It is not a great picture but you can see what I mean. Do you see his/her little comb forming? I so hope that we do not have a plethora of roosters here but we probably do. Some of the little ones are already developing some serious tail-feather feathers. 

Also, here are the tomatoes we picked today. 


I'm grateful for those too. 

We'll chat tomorrow. 

Love...Ms. Moon

23 comments:

  1. Your chick is awesome! Our little town is in talks to consider wether or not to allow chickens in the city limits. I say yes, my husband says no. Eeeesch....Lovely tomatoes, too! I’ve just gotten flowers on my few plants. You have the green thumb, Ms. Moon!
    Debbie

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Well, first off- Mr. Moon has really done the bulk of the gardening this year. I cannot take credit.
      As to the chicken issue? I'm sorry, I feel like it's a human right to be able to keep chickens in your yard. I can understand the rooster issue but seriously- to be human is to be able to keep chickens if you want to.

      Delete
  2. Now I'm curious about what you wrote.

    The chick is so cute. I thought maybe you could castrate the roosters and then I watched a video about how it's done. Don't watch the video.

    Hope you had a good sleep.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. I just got that you meant your last post, doh. Women don't get credit for all that we do, even outside of the home, atlhough that is slowly changing. Who developed the first algorithm, Ada Lovelace. Who was one of the first computer programmers, Grace Hopper. Six women made up the programming team for the ENIAC. The list of women's accomplishments goes on and on but we have to dig for it because it's not celebrated like men's accomplishments, such as lifting the seat and hitting the toilet:)

      Delete
    2. I would never go to the trouble to try and castrate a rooster. Better to give them to No Man Lord to cook over his fire.
      And you certainly DID get my post. Yes! It is ridiculously hard for women to make a name for themselves in work outside the home, whether they are artists or scientists or chefs, or, or, or...
      And we are still burdened by doing most of the "housework" and if we don't do it, we feel guilty. Damned if we do, damned if we don't.
      But yeah- let a man pee directly into the toilet and he is to be congratulated.

      Delete
  3. I think I understood your post yesterday and nearly agreed in a tirade that included my recent history with the California Family Court system, my value as a caregiver and homemaker and teacher, etc. etc. But that would have been a tirade, and to tell you the truth, I think that's probably the main thing I'll leave the world -- the faint sound of my tirades.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Tirade away, woman! And yes, you absolutely understood what I meant. Of course you did. You've just had it spelled directly out to you in terms of money as to how much our culture values caregiving and homemaking- as in- NOT VERY MUCH! We pay lip service to it but when it comes to legalities and actual support- forget it. Just fuckin'forget it.

      Delete
  4. I think I understood your post as well. For me it resonated with my experiences. When my children were 5 and 2 overnight I got terrible anxiety. No reason I could see but awful waking to sleeping anxiety. My doctor arranged a counsellor and at our first meeting I was describing my circumstances, homemaker, and feelings of being on a merry round I couldn't get off. She said 'It sounds like you're doing a really good job.' and I immediately burst into tears. I hadn't even realised I wasn't giving myself any credit or respect for what I did do so it was powerful for another women to give me that.

    At the moment my husband isn't working and we have decorating and DIY to do. We are splitting it 50/50 for the reason I want a share in the jobs with a start and an end and a tangible result. A lot of household chores are about keeping an equilibrium. Keeping people fed, keeping them in clean clothes maintaining the dust at a reasonable level and as such go unnoticed. I know my family would say they appreciate what I do if asked but I don't think it's the message we get from society as a whole.

    If my OH was doing all the DIY and I was doing all the homemaking stuff I can imagine someone saying 'oh Liz's OH you've done a good job on the house' I can't imagine them also saying ' oh Liz you've done a good job feeding and nurturing everyone'.

    That is what I took from it and whether I have totally understood you or not I felt it validated some of my feelings.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Yes. Thank you for this. You have brought up some really good points and one of them is that we do NOT get respect or receive praise for doing what women have always traditionally done. I can remember going to the pediatrician with my babies for their early exams and hoping that they would praise how well my baby was growing and thriving because THAT was everything to me and I didn't get that sort of praise anywhere else.
      I think you're smart to split the DIY with your husband 50/50 and yes, that way you will know the pleasure of a tangible result, a beginning and an ending.
      You absolutely understood what I was saying. Thank you.

      Delete
  5. That is a cute little rooster.

    I think I understood your post yesterday, although I didn't really allude to the feminist message in my comment. I'm with you! Sorry you spent so much time on your clarification and still felt it didn't say what you needed it to say. That's frustrating.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. It is frustrating, Steve. Sometimes I do that- I write and write and write and then I'll just delete it all because it's not what I want to say exactly and I'm just so frustrated.

      Delete
  6. Mary, I too understood your post the day before. I don't even know how to explain it but it resonated with me. I think I just don't allow myself to think about it much because very little changes with my dear husband and I at this stage of our lives.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Terry- I hear you. And I know what you're saying and what you mean and THAT resonates with me. So thank you.

      Delete
  7. well, I had to go back and reread yesterday's post and did not see what you were worried about. then I read the comments here and had to go back and reread it again. so, as a person who made their living in the arts, yes we do make things that are done and not they aren't 'done' because we always think there could be some improvement (I used to be a terrible perfectionist and it made me very unhappy) but it's time to move on. but at the same time it's not that much different than repetitive tasks. how many times did I draw the same flowers just in a different composition. anyway, I understood perfectly what you meant which is why I had to go back and read the post twice to see what you were concerned about.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. That was a lot of rereading, Ellen! I appreciate that. I know you understand it all very well.

      Delete
  8. Don't worry about it. Enjoy your day!

    ReplyDelete
  9. I guess I'm shallow because I took yesterday's post at face value. But you're right, keeping a home ticking over can be one never-ending Forth Bridge that nobody appreciates until it isn't done so big shout out to all the homemakers out there!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Yes! No one appreciates it until it isn't done. Exactly. And then all hell breaks loose.

      Delete

Tell me, sweeties. Tell me what you think.