Last week I texted my kids and said that as far as I was concerned, Mother's Day for me was cancelled. I know they love me, they know I love them. That is enough.
But dang, those sweeties!
I got a card in the mail yesterday from Hank and Rachel that just about made me cry and this morning May called me. Then a little while later I was surprised by that crew up there who came bearing cards and rice candy. Pepper was here too.
Captain Gibson at the helm!
We visited for a little while and then they were ready to go home and watch a movie with their mama.
Next came Jessie and the boys.
They brought me a cookbook and a gift that they'd made me which means the world to me and did make me cry.
And Mr. Moon brought me flowers from town yesterday. Handprint heart, footprint posies, and white roses.
I'm a lucky mama and grandmama.
When I unwrapped that pretty picture August asked me if I liked it and I said that I liked it so much that it made me cry. I think he was embarrassed for both of us and immediately turned to his Boppy for some manly cart riding. Here they are sitting on one of their grandfather's benches, waiting for him to hook the cart up to the ATV.
I love the way Levon was just swinging his legs. Later on, when the cart got unhooked, he pulled that thing around the yard for about thirty minutes. He is the most determined worker, age two, that I've ever seen.
By the time they'd said their good-byes, it was getting on in the afternoon and I had promised Hank to make a friend of his some masks which I did and then, BOOM! It was five-thirty.
Where did THAT day go?
I have no idea.
A fine day and it would only have been better if I could have hugged every one of my babies and grandbabies. Owen talked today about having a big party when all of this is over to catch up on the birthdays and Mother's Day and Father's Day.
May it be so.
Mother's Day can be one of those tricky holidays, I think. It's hard on women who always wanted children but for one reason or another never have. It's hard for mothers whose children aren't there to celebrate with them for whatever painful reason. Or even joyful reason. It's hard for people whose mothers are or were uh, shall we say...difficult? It's hard for people whose mothers are no longer here and who are so sorely and eternally missed.
In other words- it's like every other damn holiday.
For some- a sweet and happy occasion, for others, a reminder of deep and primal pain.
But as always, I'd like to remind us all that we have ALL been nurtured by someone. Biological mothers, adopted mothers, foster mothers, aunts, uncles, siblings, teachers, neighbors, mentors, friends, spouses, grandparents, fathers.
And even our very own children.
And all of us have nurtured, too. Pets, lovers, friends, gardens, co-workers, grandparents, nieces, siblings, nephews, art, spouses, students.
And our own children. And our own parents.
The point is, nurturing doesn't mean a specific gender or an official title. It doesn't require giving birth or signing a document.
Nurturing is human and it is animal, it is gentle and it is fierce. It is primal and it is ethereal. It is the most private, personal thing and it is as universal and vast as the way we feel when we see the ocean, the mother of us all.
It can come naturally and yet not always, and even when it does come naturally, it can be the hardest damn thing in the world. Especially to get right.
So hard that none of us really get it right. Or at least as right as we wish we could.
As with my tears and August today, I've probably now embarrassed all of us.
And I don't care.
I'm hiding in the bathroom crying so that my husband won't see after reading this post. I don't want to have to explain to him all the feelings your words make me feel. Happy Mother's Day Mary. ❤ReplyDelete
Oh, Jennifer! And happy Mother's Day to you. I thought of you as I wrote this- the way you've nurtured so many children. And pets. And friends. And your husband too. I honor all of that.Delete
There are tears in my eyes, too, especially after reading Jennifer's post, and especially after my own daughter left her husband and children at the other grandma's today and came to visit me for a couple of hours. First time in ten years. Maybe we all don't know what to say about today, and thank you for saying it. Now I'm going to go back and look happily at your pictures.ReplyDelete
That's pretty huge, Joanne. I hope that you and your daughter had a good talk, a good time, and that there was sweetness.Delete
Happy Mother's Day, Mary Moon! You write so well of the complexities surrounding this day for many of us. Thank you.ReplyDelete
Well, I know from experience. As you probably realize. Kiss your kitty-cat baby for me.Delete
Me too. Thank you.ReplyDelete
You are so welcome, Sally.Delete
Thank you for your words. They mean more than I can say. Being a mother feels better than anything and because of the depth of love we feel it can also hurt more than anything. Happy Mother's Day Mary.ReplyDelete
Boy, isn't that the truth? Once, when one of my children was truly injured I wished for a few moments with all of my heart that I'd never had any children at all because I could not stand the pain. I am so grateful she is okay.Delete
You were so wonderfully spoilt and you deserve it. Happy Mother's Day!ReplyDelete
Mother's Day can be a very complex Day indeed. I know for the Grandkids I Raised and Adopted it is a bittersweet Day and so for their sake, we have mostly ignored it. Though now the Grandson is Grown and the Granddaughter is 14, we talk about it more candidly now when they initiate the topic on Mother's Day. They know that having lost my Mom too, that it can be a difficult day for me as well, so we always remember the zaniest Stories of Nanna and laugh a lot... and shed our Tears. This Year, for the first time, The Young Prince said he was thinking about trying to Call his Mom... I told him that she would probably Love that Surprise and it would mean a lot to her. He has Serious Mental Illness and she has Serious Mental Illness so theirs has been a very delicate relationship to navigate and have often relied on me as Mediator and Advisor on how best to move thru what can be a Mine Field of complex Issues. I'm so Glad you had a Wonderful Pandemic Mother's Day, it really is SO HARD to have to distance ourselves Physically from even those close by now, isn't it... I find it easier to accept the Distancing from Loved Ones who are scattered across the Globe... than this Pandemic Distancing from those who are so Close, yet have to remain 6 Feet or more away to Protect one another!ReplyDelete
Sounds like you do really have a very complex relationship with Mother's Day at your house. I think it may be that way for quite a few people.Delete
It is SO hard to see our loved ones and have to stay away. Ugh.
I got phone calls from both my kids and the twins. that's about all the celebrating we do for any particular holiday. we call, we talk, we touch base. gifts are unnecessary. Happy Mother's Day Mary.ReplyDelete
That sounds perfect to me, Ellen. And Happy Mother's Day to you.Delete
Beautiful post. I loved every bit of it, but the part about nurturing... well, I loved that a lot.ReplyDelete
Thank you, Colette. I feel it's true.Delete
Very well said. This situation has made so many of us be creative in how we do the things we've become used to, like mother's day. Actually, my mom wished me a happy mother's day yesterday because to her, single fatherhood has made me assume both roles. We definitely all nurture.ReplyDelete
I think so, Jon. And I know that you are a very nurturing parent to your sweet babies.Delete
I've never really thought about Mother's Day in the broader sense of being for nurturers of all stripes. That's an interesting idea! We ARE all nurturers in one way or another, right? (Maybe not The Donald.) I like the handprint-footprint painting!ReplyDelete
I love your reflections on Mother’s Day. It’s heart opening. And those handprints and footprints make such fine art, for a Mer Mer who is so deeply loved. Levon’s expression In your recent pictures is so pensive, as if he is trying to work something through. I long for when you can fold him to you again and hold him there.ReplyDelete