It was so beautiful this morning and after we'd had our breakfast and I'd gone over to the neighbors' to help pull a tiny line that had fed lidocaine into a shoulder after surgery, Mr. Moon and I tried to decide what we should do today. I really do think he's had a sort of flu, perhaps a lighter version due to the flu shot he got, but he's still not feeling great. He was in his chair with Maurice snugged all up in his lap, head down in her paws, staying warm and he had been dozing, on and off. I felt lazy too and could easily have sat on the couch and watched TV and crocheted but it really was so blue-skied out, clear and cool. So we decided to drive down to the St. Mark's wildlife refuge which is a state park of over 70,000 acres of protected land with miles of trails, and ponds and tidal pools and alligators and other critters and many, many birds.
We got ourselves ready and drove there, down the back road that leads to the Wacissa, and to the coast. By the time we got to the refuge, the sky had grown clouded over and the colors all seemed to be gray, green, and brown.
Sunday colors somehow.
We parked and got out near the lighthouse which looks like this.
Can you see the actual lighthouse at the top right?
We walked down the pathway there, a slender peninsula of land bordered by water and trees. I took that top picture when we were walking back, the palm trees (there are so many) reflected in the little lake. Or pond. I don't know. Despite the wet, chilly weather and the gloom, there were many people out taking pictures and just strolling about. A young family with a dog, elderly people with walkers, youthful olderly people with backpacks and wearing gear that would be appropriate for the Appalachian Trail.
There were plenty of water birds. Herons and egrets, ducks galore. These seagulls and penguins were hanging out on old dock skeleton.
I'd love to say it was all thrilling and amazing but honestly, it was just Florida on a winter day. We did appreciate it though. I suppose it was just too...Sunday.
And then we drove home because I had sourdough rising and needed to punch it down and let it take its second rise and it was all okay. We enjoyed being together, doing something, chatting about this and that.
We got home and I punched down my bread and gave it a quick kneading, set it to rise and picked greens for our salad tonight. I checked Facebook and found out about Kobe Bryant's death which is tragic enough but his beautiful daughter died too as well as a few other people.
Life is so incredibly tenuous, isn't it?
Lily got a tattoo after a friend of hers died years ago that says, "We don't always have tomorrow," and that's about as true a thing as I can imagine. We all know this but we don't live like we know it. I suppose that only the true saints and enlightened among us really remember this fact daily. Know it in their souls.
I think the last time I'd been to St. Marks was when we went to sprinkle my friend Lynn's ashes. Or, in my case, fling them to the wind. This may not be true but that day is one of the things I was thinking about when we were there today.
"Fly free!" I had said when I threw those unrecognizable flecks and fragments of one of my oldest friends. And I meant that with all my heart. She'd struggled and suffered for so long from the rare neurological illness which slowly and methodically take everything away from her that makes us living beings, saving release for way too long like a cat cruelly toying with a lizard unto death.
My dancing friend could finally dance free again.
And as we walked today down that same pathway where her ashes ended up on land and in the brackish water, I thought of all of that and how I could not feel one part of her spirit there.
Her spirit is in my heart and in the hearts of others who loved her.
And so it is.
It's raining now, a gentle drizzle. It's time to go heat the oven for the bread and make the rest of the supper.
I hope all of you have survived this Sunday with your hearts intact. Rain and tears can help wash us into healing and comfort. I do believe that.
i hope mr. moon feels better soon.ReplyDelete
He's doing better every day. Thank you.Delete
Until I enlarged the first picture, I thought that was a row of emus or ostriches. It seems bleak and grey, and that was just right.ReplyDelete
And yes, I hope Mr. Moon is over 'it' soon. Perhaps he goes to too many basketball games.
It was SO bleak and gray.Delete
Hmmm... on the basketball theory. I think it's probably more like hanging out with contagious grandchildren.
some people do react to flu shots. Never effected me at all but then I am Norwegian, barely human species...and no, we never get used to the death part of this sequence. goodbyes are just too fucking hard.ReplyDelete
Oh, Jessie got her shot months ago. This wasn't a reaction to that for sure.Delete
You'd think we humans would be a little more used to death by now, wouldn't you?
I'm sorry you were so sad in such a beautiful place but given your connection with your friend and those memories I can certainly see why. I hope Mr. Moon feels better soon.ReplyDelete
I was in that mood before we got there for sure. But remembering Lynn did not help.Delete
That is a very wintry-looking Florida day. I'm glad you got out to a special, meaningful place.ReplyDelete
I read once that being in denial about death is really an essential part of human psychgology. How could we function if we were truly aware at all times that we will die? We'd be so preocupied and immobilized by fear we'd have trouble getting anything done!
What if instead of being preoccupied and immobilized by fear we were open and accepting that it is indeed going to happen while making the most of what we have now while we're alive? I don't know.Delete
You'd probably love the wildlife refuge. Maybe another trip to take when you come this way again?
Life is short and no, tomorrow is not promised to any of us. The young always belief there is tomorrow but as we age we begin to know the truth. I can't imagine that poor woman losing both her husband and her daughter. The pain would be horrific.ReplyDelete
Hope Mr. Moon is feeling better soon. Sending hugs and love.
Yes. I keep thinking about Kobe's wife and other children too. And the spouses and children and loved ones of all the other victims. Overwhelming sadness.Delete
Thanks for the hugs and love! I send mine to you.
That looks such a peaceful place, how lucky you are to live within driving distance of it. And winter is probably when I would like it best anyway. Not too hot and not too many people. Just bliss!ReplyDelete
Winter is definitely good in that there are no bugs and no heat but there are lots of people. Many birds overwinter there which draws a lot of visitors. Which is good, I guess.Delete
we've had a lot of rainy and gray days here lately but yesterday was a warm blue sky day. today? gray. I spent the day Sunday crunching numbers and drawing tile but Minnie and I did go out a few times.ReplyDelete
It was so pretty here today but it's supposed to rain again tomorrow. We're like one or two days behind you on the weather patterns.Delete
Beautiful Mary, thanks. Add my best to Mr. Moon too. I haven't had one of those horrible flu in along time. Knock on wood.ReplyDelete
Well, he didn't have too bad. Slight fever, if any. He, too, had a flu shot so maybe it helped. I don't know. But yes, knock wood. NO ONE wants the flu.Delete