The other day I was looking at him and it struck me so damn hard how lucky we are. So very few people make it to a long marriage and that's okay but there's something to be said for having a companion for twenty, thirty or more years. There's a tenderness that can grow after the younger, sometimes more turbulent years. A respect develops, for certain. A deep wonder when something new is revealed about someone you've loved for decades. The fear of losing someone to another person or of them simply falling out of love with you is replaced by the the sure knowledge that one of you will go before the other which makes the time go way too swiftly, which makes the heart fill far more frequently when you ponder what that person means to you and how much of your life is consumed and defined by the fact that you spend it with him. Or her.
When you have a child you have an immediate and overwhelming sense of the need to protect that baby, to keep it alive and as healthy and robust as possible. When you're in love with someone for many years into older age, that same sense of wanting to protect and ensure the safety of your love becomes more and more intense as time goes by.
Well, at least this is true for me.
And when things are hard for your love, you ache for them. You want to smooth it away. You want them to be...happy.
I guess that's as good a definition of love as any.
And Mr. Moon will be fine. He and Vergil are heading back over to the island tomorrow. They're going to spend the night so they're packing food and provisions as if they were going to be camping which in a way, they will be. I'm glad they're going. On Dog Island there is not much you can do about the world beyond that beautiful bay. It's over there, you're on the island and you are forced by circumstance to be more mindful of exactly what is in front of you, whatever it is you're dealing with. That will be good for him.
Meanwhile today I worked outside some, pruning my roses probably at the exact wrong time but as I told my husband, I have no idea what I'm doing but whatever I do the roses never seem to die so who cares? I also kneeled in the dirt and did some weeding and the weeding I did under one of those roses led to an epiphany. There's a sort of stinging nettle plant that grows in the yard and is profuse under that rose. I hate it. Even when I wear gloves and long pants, it can somehow make its way through to my skin and after the original lit-on-fire feeling, it itches and burns and now this evening even hours after exposure, one of my knees is buzzing with it. For a long time last year I had a horrible pain in that same knee when I'd put weight on it and now I'm wondering if that nettle isn't like the red coral I inadvertently sat on once while putting on my fins in Cozumel and which itched and tormented me for a good six months. Could the microscopic toxic hairs of the nettle plant stay underneath the skin for that long?
I've googled this horror of a plant and I believe it's name is Urtica Chamaedryoides. Also known as "Fireweed" which is just about right.
Funny that I described the initial sting as feeling like being "lit on fire".
I started and almost finished a pair of pants for Levon. Jessie told me yesterday that it's a fight every day when he gets dressed because he wants to wear a certain pair of pink pajama pants but they're shorts. Which is fine in summer but it's about to get cold again. So I got out an old pattern of Maggie's and whipped up a pair of dark pink flannel pants. I hope they fit him. I hope he likes them enough to wear them because they will keep his little legs warm.
I'll finish them when I have the actual boy around to make sure the elastic in the waist is the right length and to see how long to hem the legs.
Some camellias I picked today.
I have identified that camellia on the left which I love so much as a Dr. Tinsely variety. A rather pragmatic name for such an ethereal flower.
I don't know the names of these but they are quite large and have bigger leaves. Each of the blossoms is heavy and dense, despite their delicate appearance.
These are my musings tonight.
Let's love each other. Let's take care of each other. Honestly, we're all we have.
Those flowers are perfection. It's nine degrees and we've just gotten something like 6 inches of snow, so those flowers are a bright spot. It is always a gift to witness the love you and Mr Moon share. Stay warm ;)ReplyDelete
Do you also do take-away curries?Delete
I understand so intensely what you mean about long time love. It gets more tender as the years go by. We are gently amused by each other. And oh so protective. Comfort so deep. We are lucky and I’m grateful.ReplyDelete
Your photos have made the camellia my favorite flower. They're ethereal in a way, aren't they! I hope Mr. Moon gets some rest and reprieve out dere onna 'his'island.ReplyDelete
It's snowing tonight. We have thistles here, but I'm not going looking for one tonight. Give Mr. Moon an extra hug from his fans in blogland.ReplyDelete
you have described long time love so perfectly. It changes and morphs into whatever it will be.........but always comforting with a good base intact. Just beautiful the way you described it. Your camellias........ to die for. We were butt cold today (for us).....never even got to 50.....strong icy winds.......finally cranked up woodstove at noon and now finally cozy and warm. New firewood delivery coming next week so we'll survive. glad I don't live in Canada (where I have a dear friend) who had a high of 12 degrees today! Shit! And.....wish I had a Mer like you who would sew me special clothes . ;-)ReplyDelete
Long time love is so very, very precious...my dear, sweet, gentle husband of 49 years died in June of a massive coronary. I miss him with every breath.ReplyDelete
oh goodness, Sharon. My heart truly aches for your lossReplyDelete
Ethereal is right. And Leon's pants sound wonderful, how magic you are!ReplyDelete
Your love for your husband shines through in every word you write and it is beautiful to behold. I envy you but for me it wasn't to be!ReplyDelete
The big guy and I have only been together for eight years but loving someone as you get older is different than when you're young. We're comfortable with each other and he makes me laugh. Mostly I feel safe with him and he accepts me as I am which is rare.ReplyDelete
But I also think about death and who will die first which is not something you ever really think about when you're young. Both you and Mr. Moon are blessed to have each other and your children. Life is hard so often and it's good to have a soft place to fall.
that feeling of being in love has been burned out of me I think. or even love. we will have 44 years together in May. and not just being married but working together as well. I don't ever think I love him now in the way I did when we were younger. I don't know what I'd call it. quite frankly he put me through many miserable years more than once but it's never been over another woman. but he has devoted his life to helping me pursue my art and make a living from it. so there's that. and I saved his life. that was the bargain we made I think before we ever met, were even born.ReplyDelete
I'm sorry to hear Mr. Moon is going through a tough patch. I'm sure everything will be fine, as you said. We're all thinking of both of you. And you're right -- an escape to Dog Island sounds ideal. We need a picture of Levon's new pants!ReplyDelete
After reading the comments above, I just want to add that I find love gets much easier as time passes. When you're young, there's so much drama. Now there is no drama, thank goodness. It feels much more stable and foundational. (If that's a word.)Delete
Lovely and loving musings!ReplyDelete