Tuesday, August 9, 2016

Act/React/Act/React, Rinse/Repeat

In just about an hour I'm going to go pick up Jack who was neutered this morning.
God that cat is going to get fat. He's suddenly had a growth spurt and his head has gotten huge. He's about the laziest cat I've ever seen as it is and not having any testosterone isn't going to help that situation. But of course it had to be done. I know of at least one litter he's fathered and that's not acceptable.
Oh, Jack. My cuddly little man cat. Every night when I get in bed he comes in for a snuggle and a scratch and then when Mr. Moon gets in bed he stays for a few minutes and then, "Thump!" off the bed he goes to find sleeping arrangements of his own.

I'm having a slow, slow day. I just can't seem to focus on anything, start anything, accomplish anything. I am at one of those flat, hopeless/helpless places where I feel entirely powerless to have so much as a shadow of a dream of something good or new. I know this is depression but it feels situational to me. And I will keep moving. I will.
It may be as little movement as going to go get Jack and bringing him home and working in the garden but goddammit, I know I can't give up. What does that even mean?

I don't ever want to find out.

Love...Ms. Moon


  1. Keep writing. Write through it. I'm holding your hand. Love.

  2. Sending pats and Temptations to Jack.

    Sending you a hug.

  3. I go out in the yard and look around at all there is to do and then come back in. it is so freaking hot out there.

  4. I'm kind of at a loss today, too. Though I did have one freeing moment! I had my two week post op appointment with my doctor this morning. After waiting 45 minutes in the exam room, reading a two-year-old magazine, and hearing my doc and his partner discussing their fantasy football picks for twenty minutes, I walked my happy ass out that door and into the lobby. As I was walking past the receptionist, I said, 'I've been waiting 45 minutes. That's long enough,' and pranced right out that door! It was the meanest thing I've ever done, but it made me feel good!

    1. Not mean! 20 mins while the doc ignored you? I think you were quite polite! Time to get a new doctor...

    2. I don't know you but I am proud of you. It may be the meanest thing you have ever done to someone else but the kindest thing you have done for yourself. xo

    3. I'll be 60 in two weeks, and my best friend told me that when we hit 60 our 'just be nice' button gets worn out. The doc is a podiatrist, and now that he's repaired my Achilles' tendon, I don't think I'll ever need to see him anyway. But sitting in that room and hearing him talking and laughing in the hall just did it for me! But as soon as I got outside, I felt like I do when I fling my bra across the room as soon as I get home. Ahhhhh!

  5. Sending good thoughts your way. That's not enough, I know, but you give SO much to your readers and I just want to give you something in return.

  6. Can I join the hand holding queue? I seem to be working at the speed of lead these days too.

    They suggest a low-achievement to do this for days like this - Put things on it like 'get out of bed'. 'Make coffee'. 'Pick up cat'. Tick 'em off. Know you achieved something despite it all.

  7. Definitely don't give up. I'm not sure how anyone does anything at all where it's hot and humid.

  8. One foot in front of the other. You are so loved.


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