Wednesday, June 23, 2010

Love Letter


Mr. Moon worked so hard last night and so did Kathleen. She got home from work and cooked shrimp and made crab cakes and probably vacuumed before we got there if I know her. And Mr. Moon got to work and arranged his tools and the pot of boiling water and told us all to "go away now," and we did and he took care of business. Caught those roosters and turned them into meat and then started digging on the grave.
Meanwhile, we ladies sat in the house and drank beverages and ate food and then went out and did a ceremonial shoveling of one or two spadesfull of dirt. Kathleen convinced Mr. Moon to let Rich finish the grave. He couldn't be there last night but will go to Kathleen's tonight.
It was, in its way, a beautiful evening.
And Lily, the old dog, came out and laid on the floor and we all petted her and told her that the next time we see her she'll be running through fields of daisies and rabbits. Or something.
Bob, Kathleen's young Lab, who is The Center Of The Universe, had to be where all the attention was.

That's the way Bob is. He is going to be there for Kathleen when Lily has to go and they will tell each other stories about Lily and what a great dog she was. Kathleen will say, "When Lily was your age..."
And Bob will say, "You've already told me that story. Can I have a treat now?"

I was so proud of my husband. I've said it a million times and I'll say it again- I have the best husband in the world. I never would have thought I'd ever marry a man who sold cars or even fixed cars or who would know how to kill chickens and turn them into meat. Or hunted! My god, that was just NOT on the agenda. Nor was marrying a man who is a foot and a half taller than I am. And yet, I did. And it was the best thing I've ever done.

When I was very young, still a teenager, I had a dream that was so strong that I've never forgotten it. One of those dreams where you wake up and think, "This is true."
It was just a glimpse-dream. A mere rag of a whole. And it was an image of a man holding out his arms to me.
It comforted me so. And to this day, I believe I was dreaming of the man I am married to now, the man I've been married to for almost twenty-six years.
The man who can build the chicken coop, make the garden, fix the car, bring home the income, the bacon, the venison and the grouper. The man who brings me roses. The man who cuddles the grandson. The man who loves my women friends. The man who, when my friend Sue was dying, followed her instructions to "hold me like a mother holds her baby."

So okay. It's a Wednesday morning and I've worked myself up to tears here. Owen is coming soon and I can't wait to see what he's learned in the past three days. Have I told you that he imitates Elvis? That's Elvis The Rooster, not Elvis the singer. He sucks his breath in and makes a crowing sound. He won't imitate us saying words but he'll imitate Elvis the rooster. I find this hysterical. He's pointing his fat little finger at everything and going, "Ooooh." There is an awful lot to point at here at Grandmother's house. It's as if I've spent the last six years putting things up on the walls and hanging things from the ceiling just so that my grandson can notice them all, point and go, "Ooooh."
Who knew?
Not me.
Of things like that I never had a portending dream. But perhaps that tiny little snap of a picture of a man holding his arms out to me contained that too. The children, the grandchildren, the chickens and the roses and the everything, the every bit of love which has happened since in real life that man held his arms out to me and I slipped into them. I remember that moment, that real life moment.
Long arms. Long, long, long arms. Opened up to me in my kitchen a long time ago.
And I slipped into them. And here we are.

So this is me, pointing my finger at that man saying, "Oooh."
Saying, "Thank-you for coming to me in my dreams when I was so filled with pain as a child. Thank-you for coming to see me in my kitchen that long-ago day. Thank-you for the babies and the grandbaby and the gardens and the taking-care of all of us. And the roses. Thank-you for those too.

Mostly thank-you for those arms which you still reach out to wrap me in.

And for killing roosters and for digging graves. And for loving my women friends.
For loving.
Thanks for all the loving. Don't ever doubt that I am paying attention and noticing it all. Because I am. Every dish you wash, every kiss you give me. Every thing you do for us all.
I am noticing, I am grateful, I am loving you.

Always....Your wife.

26 comments:

  1. And what are we doing for his birthday?

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  2. Well I have lots to say about this post.

    I agree that Lily the dog will be in heaven and she'll run through those fields. I think dogs get to cut in line in heaven.

    I loved that thing about Bob saying "can I have a treat now" We always say what we think our dog is saying and then we tack on "p.s. there are treats in the cupboard".

    You're lucky to have Mr. Moon and you know it and appreciate it. And he's just as lucky to have you!

    Owen imitating Elvis cracks me up. And I can just see that fat little finger pointing at things too.

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  3. oh, I want to say what Kathleen did.

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  4. You two are a beautiful love story!

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  5. I have a husband like yours and I am so blessed. Your writing reminds me I don't say thank you often enough! Wendy

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  6. I tell you what, having a daddy like my own makes it so hard for me to ever think I'm going to find a man anywhere near as good as him. He has made my life extra tough by showing me what a real man can be. But since that's really the only way Daddy has made my life tough, I'm going have to forgive him.

    Give Kathleen all my love. She is doing a very kind thing to let one of her kids go on. I'm glad that you and Papa can help her out at this time.

    I love you, Mama. Hope you have fun with O-boy today.

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  7. :) So sweet, Ms. Moon. You've got the world.

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  8. For some reason I can't see the word verification on the other posts. Please tell sweet, dear, wonderful Kathleen I'm thinking of her. I know that loss and pain.

    This post about Mr Moon made me choke up. Sigh.....

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  9. I love that Owen will imitate the rooster! So cute!

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  10. You know, a basic theme with romantic conflict regarding women that I have noticed is that their attractions seem to be very split between a man who can thrive in the wild (our more lizard but definitely sexy tendencies)... and a man who can navigate and thrive in the modern world we've created.

    Lucky you, your man can do both!

    I know is not news to you, but still... I had to say it. He's a rockstar!

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  11. ach ms moon..how beautiful that post is...it seems like u have the best man indeed...because you deserve him:-)

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  12. This is truly a wonderful post. I am glad that you have such a wonderful man in your life. Each of us strives to be that kind of person. And in some ways we may fail others. But I believe that loving another is the most powerful thing on earth.

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  13. Oh Ms Moon
    So beautiful. As always a love testament.
    You are loved as well
    Xoxoxo

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  14. Beautifully expressed. He is lucky to have you too.

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  15. DTG- Going to the Biltmore Grille. Oh wait. The Mockingbird because Jess is playing. It will be fun!

    Stephanie- I'll say.

    Jill- Thanks, honey. And I must say that Owen did a lot of rooster imitating today.

    Ms. Bastard-Beloved- You will love him too. And he you.

    Kathleen Scott- That's the truth!

    deb- You're allowed.

    Elizabeth- I know.

    Lois- Usually.

    Wendy- We should say thanks every day.

    Jessie- Well, Lily found Jason and there is hope for you, too.
    We did have a good time today with Owen. Pop-Pop came home early from work to play with him. When Owen left he was so mad that he screamed because he wanted to stay and PLAY WITH THE CHICKENS!

    Nicol- I know it, too. And very hot new picture of you! Look at you and your hotness!

    Bethany- I think Kathleen reads all the comments. I know she'll appreciate that.

    Lisa- That's okay. I have a crush on you and yours, too.

    Rebecca- You can't make him stop crowing these days!

    Ms. Fleur- He IS a rockstar. Aw...

    Danielle- Sometimes I think I deserve him. He's made me want to be the best wife I can be.

    Syd- I agree with that.

    Mwa- I was so proud of him for all that work last night.

    Michelle- I know. Thank-you.

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  16. Lovely tribute to a beautiful man.

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  17. Love letter yes....and when you said "Long arms. Long, long, long arms. Opened up to me in my kitchen a long time ago. And I slipped into them. And here we are."...yes you got me. Through and through...isn't it the best to have a man who loves you like that...

    So hard to let go of a beloved doggie friend...I am glad they are burying their poochie at their home...and that they have friends to comfort and help them.

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  18. Your words do "bless our hearts" and I thank you for that.

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  19. Absolutely beautiful.

    I never would have thought I'd ever marry a man who sold cars or even fixed cars or who would know how to kill chickens and turn them into meat. Or hunted! My god, that was just NOT on the agenda. Nor was marrying a man who is a foot and a half taller than I am. And yet, I did. And it was the best thing I've ever done.

    That, for me, is the true essence of love. Not everything has to make sense and fit into neat compartments. Matter of fact, it's often best when it doesn't.

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  20. Your love is just so precious, Ms. Moon. Enjoy it, you are both blessed to have each other. So blessed.

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  21. That kind of man is definitely worth the wait. I am so happy that you and all of your wonderful kids have him. What a blessing that man is!

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