Friday, May 14, 2010

The Wild Life


Another way I know it's summer now is that my kitchen porch toad is back. He hangs out right by the back door and when people come to it at night I always say, "Watch out for my toad."
Actually, I've seen two there, one larger and one smaller but tonight it was only the larger one. I wish I could've taken a better picture. He (why do I always think that toads are male?) is a handsome guy, as toads go. He likes to catch the bugs that come to the porch light and I think he must do pretty well there. I wonder if there's a lottery every year or some other way that all the toads decide who gets this prime dining spot. Maybe they fight for it. I do not know the ways of toads. I merely love them for eating bugs and I admire them for their fine and fancy shapes, their sleepy eyes.
Of course I do not want to touch one. Not at all, not one bit, it ain't gonna happen and if one accidentally hops on me I scream like a girl.
A little girl.

The play went well tonight but it was a strange audience. We had a busload of Baptists come. Now when I say a "busload," I mean that literally. An entire bus full of sweet Baptists, many of them older ladies came to dine and watch the murder mystery.
They do not drink, these Baptists.
There is a joke and I have no idea if it's true or not but it goes like this:
"If you take one Baptist fishing he will drink all your beer but if you take two, neither one will drink any."
Well, since there were so many of them, there was not one glass of wine, or one beer or one mixed drink bought by any of them. I did have a man say to me as I refilled his water glass, "Aren't we gonna get some iced tea?" and I felt bad, telling him that no, there was no iced tea but there would be coffee to go with the pie. He seemed vastly disappointed.
I understand.
This IS the south, after all and one does expect tea.

One of my fellow shills went up to the bar to ask Colin, who is our snappy bartender (he wears a bow-tie and a white shirt), for a glass of water for herself and for me. She brought me back a small glass of clear liquid with a lime squeeze in it. "Is he out of ice?" I asked.
"Oh, do you want ice?" she said.
"Oh no, that's all right," and I took a big swig of the water only to discover that Colin had poured me a glass of gin. I looked over at the bar to see him cracking up.
"What am I going to do with this?" I asked him.
"Throw it away if you want, you've already spit in it. We can't use it," he said, chuckling in his Colin way.
I was going to keep it to sip on all night but really- it must have been three shots of gin. I ended up throwing it out. I had trays to carry, dinners to serve, water glasses to fill.
I did better tonight. I didn't spill a thing.

Turned out that one of the sweet old Baptist ladies was a woman who had been one of my receptionists back when I led a Weight Watcher meeting in Thomasville, Georgia for years and years. I haven't seen her for at least five years but I knew who she was right away.
"Oh Miss Merle!" I said, and I hugged her to me. She looked the same but older and something about her eyes told me that she'd had great tragedy in her life since I'd seen her. She told me that her husband had died and I squatted on the floor by her chair and listened to the story of his illness and death and it made me so sad. She cried a few tears. I never met Miss Merle's husband, but she once told me something he'd said which I have never forgotten and still laugh about when I think of it.
Miss Merle had had some wrist surgery and had a cast on her wrist and her hand and when she came to a meeting one day, she told us that she'd asked her husband to please help her pull her pants up.
"Merle," he told her, "I ain't got no practice pulling your britches UP."
So you see- even sweet old Baptist southern ladies have sex. Well, I assume that's what that story was about.
They were married for over sixty years, Merle and her husband. They must have gotten married when Merle was a teenager. She's pretty old but not that old. Can you imagine losing your man after sixty years together? I can't.
But there she was with her friends, watching a play and eating chicken and rice and vegetables and buttermilk pie. And she has a ration of grandchildren and great-grandchildren and she's still working as a receptionist for Weight Watchers. I can't imagine how that works. She couldn't get the tally right six years ago but she's an institution in Thomasville at Weight Watchers. They can't fire her. I mean...really.
I hugged up her up and said, "I love you, Miss Merle," and she said, "I love you too."
It was a sweet moment.

And now I'm home in this quiet house. I talked to Mr. Moon and the seas were rough today and he already lost an anchor. He sounded tired.
I'm tired too. I stayed at the Opera House long enough to help dry the water glasses and again, I actually enjoyed that. I have a deep affection for the women who work in the kitchen and Rich and Marcie helped, too. I didn't stay for the post-play drink, but came on home to close my chickens in, to sit here and write this. I have some laundry to finish up from the day and Zeke keeps barking at me, telling me he's ready for bed and well, I guess it's time.

It's been a good, full day with my grandson and the Opera House and it's comforting to know that even if Mr. Moon is gone, the kitchen porch toad is out there doing his job and sweet old Pearl is curled up on the chair in the hallway and the chickens are lined up on their roost and Miss Merle is probably safely home in Georgia after a big night out with the other Baptist ladies.

It was a big night out for me, too.
I'm going to bed.
Night-night.

24 comments:

  1. You are gorgeous, Ms. Moon. Night-night.

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  2. As I read your post, I wonder if maybe I should volunteer at the local theater. Sounds like fun.

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  3. Angie M- I am gorgeous in pictures that I take and choose to post. Ha! Plus- I had make-up on from my big night out. Sweet dreams!

    Sandra- Do it!

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  4. Yes, you are gorgeous, and I love the eye make-up. When I read posts like these, I almost miss the south. Your voice is so true and fine.

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  5. ah..i m late again...gnaaahhh*...i love your toad ..

    that is a pretty picture indeed..i noticed that you often look very pretty when you are very tired...hmm..interesting!!!

    ps: the way he asked for the iced tea...he never could ask that way in german because that would be soooo rude..:-)

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  6. Ah, Dan, always looking at other women's toads...

    Such a pretty lady, Ms Moon!

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  7. I feel like I just watched a really really really good movie. Sweet, sad, funny.

    Love you Ms Moon,
    michelle

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  8. I love your toad. I think toads are adorable too, and I love that they eat bugs.
    I love your post, and your stories and your picture too. xxoo

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  9. The joke about the 'Great Truths in Life' ends with 'Baptists don't recognize each other when they run into each other at Hooters' or something like that.

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  10. True to your word, it sounds as though you are enjoying all the moments of your Friday. What a night at the Opera House. I love toads too when I see them in a garden. I love that picture of the boat and the 'burb. We had a '91 just like that with lots of good road trips. We sold it to a family of boys in the Deland area. They can afford whatever they wanted but they wanted it for their boys' band.
    Your photo--gorgeous.

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  11. Elizabeth- Well, you make me almost miss a place I've never lived, so we're even!

    Roserain- Thank-you.

    Danielle- Tired and WEARING MAKE-UP and it is dark. And by the way- that man was sort of rude here, too.

    Jo- He can't help it.

    Michelle- And that's the south. Always some sort of movie going on. Or novel. Or poem. Or song.
    All I have to do is pay attention and write it down.

    Mel- Isn't he a fine toad?

    Lucy- Yes!

    Michele R- Those are fine old utility vehicles. Ours still pulls that big old boat.

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  12. exquisite
    all of it.
    and I hope you slept well, and are having a good morning.

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  13. There is nothing quite like the South and its gentleness, tea, and nice old ladies. I am glad that you were there to comfort Mrs. Merle. Sixty years is a full life together.

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  14. Deb- Yes and YES!

    Syd- And yet, even after sixty years, she wishes she had more. She told me.

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  15. My dad and his wife were married for 60 years when he died two years ago. Oh, she goes on church outings with all the little ladies, but in her solitude she's cried for two years. She says the worst part is morning coffee on the porch to face the day. Alone. Dad wasn't loud or showy, but he had a strong, calm energy force (I think that's called personality) that just filled everything within a thousand foot radius. For that to suddenly disappear after decades is gut-wrenching. She cries, I cry, we all still cry. And I DARE anybody to say something so stupid as "time to get over it."

    Another Baptist saying: Baptists are like cats; you know they do it, you'll just never catch them at it!

    Off to finish packing - my husband is from London and we're meeting some family and friends in Florida for a week. Got a lovely villa rented and a plane to catch...

    Love to y'all

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  16. Laynie- That was a beautiful story. And no, we never do get over things like that. I just, in fact, spoke to a woman at the post office who lost her husband over a year ago and she said, "It only gets harder."
    Good reminder to love the ones we love as best we can every day.
    Now- have great fun in Florida! It's hot and I hope you'll be by the water, which for now, is still beautiful.

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  17. Such a sweet story of your night at the Opera House and meeting Mrs Merle after all these years. I am glad you had your porch toad to come home to. x0 N2

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  18. N2- Me too, dear. Nothing like a porch toad to bring you a little night-time comfort.

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  19. Oh, toad. I am glad for the buggers, I just don't want to be anywhere near them.

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  20. Your joke made me laugh out loud, and then I thought you could change it to be about Seventh Day Adventists and me and mine might die laughing.

    I love your sweet stories about the people you are connecting with at the Opera House.

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  21. Okay, let me get this straight--you scream over toads, but not snakes? WHAT?????

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  22. I LOVE the toads and he is one of the more handsome ones I've seen. I always seem to think of toads as males too. Last year may have been our record for most toads found in the flower garden.

    I had a good laugh at the baptists not drinking but I think I could insert some other groups in there too. :)

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  23. You look like a movie star, and I mean that.

    But, no iced tea? REALLY? How can you have dinner and no tea?

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Tell me, sweeties. Tell me what you think.