Tuesday, April 20, 2010

Some Posts Are Just Weird. Sorry.


In a post a few days ago I said that my friend Jack, upon seeing my house and all the images of the Virgin in it, accused me of being a closeted Catholic which even he knows is so far from the truth that you couldn't shoot it with the longest-range missile ever invented.

But I do have quite a number of Virgins scattered around the joint. This is just the truth. I couldn't even count them all if I had to.

My friend K wrote, in a comment to that post, that I should check out the link here.

For those of you who don't have the time to read it in its entirety, it's an opinion column from the NYT published April 17 of this year by Nicholas D. Kristof.

It opens this way:

I heard a joke the other day about a pious soul who dies, goes to heaven, and gains an audience with the Virgin Mary. The visitor asks Mary why, for all her blessings, she always appears in paintings as a bit sad, a bit wistful: Is everything O.K.?
Mary reassures her visitor: “Oh, everything’s great. No problems. It’s just ... it’s just that we had always wanted a daughter.”

You know what? I've been sitting here for an hour trying to bring this "joke" together in my mind with the Catholic church and its shame and Tiger Woods and his shame and my chickens too and it just ain't happening.

I don't understand why the males of the species have this huge need to fuck and do fucked up things and I don't understand why the females of the species go along with the males' needs with so little thought to their own. I read the article in Vanity Fair about Tiger from the POV of a few of his extra-marital women and they got nothing out of fucking that man except for the ones who were paid because it was their profession. One of those women who was at his beck and call for a long time said the only thing he ever bought her was a chicken wrap from the Subway.
Classy dude. Real classy dude.
Brilliant woman. Real brilliant woman.

And I read the article cited and linked above and I don't understand why the "good nuns" bother to put themselves under the auspices of a church which has so little respect for them and which has done everything they can to relegate their roles as nothing more than helpers, and poor and disrespected helpers at that. Why do they need the goddam pope to "allow" them to do what they feel called to do?

I don't understand why women stand by and let men abuse their children, whether those men are the fathers of the children or Fathers of the church. Whether that abuse is sexual, physical, emotional, or psychological.

I don't even understand why my hens, WHO HAVE WINGS, DAMMIT, AND WHO CAN FLY, allow themselves to be fucked bloody-backed by the rooster.

I don't understand. It just seems to me that at some point in time, women would realize the power they do have and use it to stop some of the insanity that goes on in this world. It's like we're paralyzed or something. Are we that needy? Are we that afraid of men?

I have so many thoughts here that I can't begin to corral them and put them in neat lines of neat words. I just can't. And it's a topic that burns deep with me. I've been the victim of all sorts of men's fuckedupedness. And on my best days, I can feel sorry for some of them, I can excuse some of their behavior, even forgive them. Not all. No, not all.
And yet, I wouldn't have been the victim to begin with if women, whose jobs you would have thought it was, had stood up and said, "No. That will not happen."
Sometimes, in fact, that woman was ME.

Okay. I'm done. I can't figure it out. Duh. I'm not God. I'm not Jesus. I'm not Jesussina, who if there had been one born to Mary, would probably have been placed in an arranged marriage, denied access to the Temple, and been told to use her miracles on something befitting a woman such as keeping the floors clean or maybe helping a woman through a difficult childbirth.
And she probably would have allowed that, keeping her power and her divinity under her skirt and gone about her life, died quietly and would have chosen to stay dead instead of being resurrected because she was TIRED.

And the message there would have been?

I have no idea.

Not all men are crazed sex addicts or pedophiles or cruel or abusive, of course. And not all women are meek little help-meets afraid to raise their voices. I would never say that. I would never insinuate that. Because neither is true.

But. But. But.

You know.

And now I'm looking at all my meek, wistful virgins, my shy madonnas and I'm feeling a bit testy about them. I want to shout at them, "Get up off your knees. They are killing your SON! Your baby! Do something!"

My Frida's, too. Damn Frida. She was a better painter than Diego, probably far more intelligent, and supposedly had enough sexual attraction to burn through the universe like a comet and yet, and YET, she let that man fuck around on her even with her own sister, (and why would a sister DO that?) divorced him and then remarried him.

Ladies. What are we thinking?

I think we don't think. That's what I think.

I'm outta here. I'll be back when I calm down and have something pretty to say.

And no, I am not mad at Mr. Moon. He has nothing to do with this although I don't always understand him either but thankfully, the things I don't understand have nothing to do with cruelty or general fuckedupedness and a lot to do with sports.

23 comments:

  1. I have no answers.

    But I do love you Ms. Moon

    ReplyDelete
  2. Quite a lot in that.

    Men are not the only ones to take advantage, they may be the market leaders in some well documented respects of that, but women are just as capable in many forms.

    The stronger among us take advantage of the weaker among us, that happens physically, sexually, financially, mentally, politically, emotionally and every other 'ally' we can think of.

    In the end, we have to be stronger in each aspect to not be taken advantage of in that aspect. If people keep accepting shit from the church, or politicians, or the men, or the women in their lives, what can you do?

    ReplyDelete
  3. Michelle- I love you too, darling lady.

    Daddy X- Well, exactly.

    ReplyDelete
  4. Here's the thing; try as we might, we cannot escape the fact that it is a man's world. And yes we have power, a lot of it, but every time we try to use it we just get ass-fucked by the world. Because men as a rule refuse to even bend, refuse to EVEN contemplate the fact that they are exploting us at every single turn. Seriously. Look at the world; there are single mothers through divorce and abandonment, and who is getting punished? Not the men, not by a long shot. Most women still make less money, and if we DO make more $$ then we are ball breakers or dykes or whatever it is the men want to call us, and we are shamed publicly and privately for being who we are. Gah! I think if I write any more I will have a heart attack and die-which isn't necessarily a BAD thing, as I am worht more dead than I am aline-and at least then my kids would have people feel SORRY for them instead of having them laugh and do what they can to keep them down becuase they come from a single mom.

    By the way, she has decided she is keeping the baby; and is that just fucking wonderful? Becuase who is going to pay, and pay, and pay for this. Not the young man who fathered the child by any means, but I will, and she will. Where the hell is the power in THAT?

    ReplyDelete
  5. Kori- Perhaps on another day I would try to temper your comments with some sort of hopeful rhetoric. Today, however, I can only join you in screaming, "Where the hell IS the power in THAT?"
    I love you, baby.

    ReplyDelete
  6. I remember the day that I got the epiphany that "Jesus had an ego" It hit me like brick to the head. I had to tell Sue immediately. After which, she told me I was one of the most intelligent people she'd ever met. Now, I while I don't think THAT is true, I think it illustrated that she too, was hit by a brick... which leads me to believe, there is more to it that my own little epiphany.

    Great post. I have a lot to say about this, and think about it a lot... too much.
    Love you, I'll call ya.
    xo pf

    ReplyDelete
  7. Oh, I've had such a miserable day. I saw a picture of the virgin cuddling her newborn at Owen's school today, and it was the tenderest thing. A lot of power there, too. It helped, a bit.

    I'm not Catholic. I'm not sure why Mary whispers my name.

    ReplyDelete
  8. petit fleur, have you seen Philip Pullman's new book?

    ReplyDelete
  9. This was the greatest thing I've read all day. You rock!
    -Dom

    ReplyDelete
  10. Great post, Ms. Moon. I'm not sure I know the answers to any of it either, but I tend to think the impulses you've spoken about, the fucked-up ones, are really very, very primitive and sometimes overtake the more evolved ones. That it happens over and over and over is a mystery to me, too, except that progress has been and continues to be made albeit glacially. I'm thinking that you included the roosters and hens in your essay without realizing the brilliant comparison. I truly believe the reason why the hen doesn't throw off the rooster despite her bloody back and probable fatigue is strangely and perversely the same reason nuns work for the pope, women screw around with the likes of Tiger Woods, etc. etc. It's primitive and animal-like and we just can't rid ourselves of it, entirely.

    I think.

    ReplyDelete
  11. And that last line about Mr. Moon and sports is brilliant.

    ReplyDelete
  12. Ms Moon, what a wonderful (I just typed 'wonderfuk': make of that what you will!) whoosh of words. What I took away from this is a love of religious iconography, which I admit to being guilty of as well, even though I'm the least religious person in the world.

    Geez, it seems you can't even write a brief post about religion without mentioning guilt. Wonderfuk indeed.

    ReplyDelete
  13. Sigh. I know. I am NOT really a victim of it being a man's world (and I credit most of this for having a father who made that possible for me to get ahead and provided me with a loving relationship if not always a stable home). Anyway -all of that goodness in my life and I STILL have anger and resentmetn sometimes toward men because of their often one-track mind and thier inability to bend as Kori said on certain things. Sometimes men are just so damn STUBBORN. And women are peacekeepers, and they submit far, far too often. You see it all the time in abusive relationships. And in ones that are not outwardly abusive but are in their own way.

    Too much on thought on this to continue on. But I am right there with you.

    ReplyDelete
  14. There is so much here and so timely. The whole world should read this.

    ReplyDelete
  15. I read the Vanity Fair article about Tiger Woods also and couldn't believe that the "chicken wrap woman" settled for so little from him.
    Sad story.

    ReplyDelete
  16. Thanks for acknowledging that we are not all bad.

    As for my wife, she takes no shit from anyone, including me.

    Hope things settle down for you soon.

    ReplyDelete
  17. Ms. Fleur- I love you and am not fittin' to talk to these days. Maybe tomorrow will be different.

    Nancy C- I think the Virgin whispers our names because we think we should be as selfless and unconditionally loving as she is. And oh yes, we'd like a mother like that ourselves.

    Dom Didi Dom- And how much reading did you do today? But thank-you.

    Elizabeth- Well, by some miracle (because my writing on that sucked) you got exactly what I was trying to say. And to tell the truth, my misunderstanding of Mr. Moon has more to do with planting things in straight rows than it has to do with sports.

    Nigel- Well, it's just a wonderfuk world, isn't it?

    SJ- I am glad you had a good daddy. Unfortunately, that does not make up for the rest of the men in the world who will try to stomp on your dreams. But there are good ones. There really are.

    Jeannie- And I'd buy them a coke, too, if I could. You're sweet.

    Lucy- Didn't that article just make you sick?

    Bucko Ken- Good for your wife!

    ReplyDelete
  18. I've noticed a few things. Men don't seem to back stab each other as much as women do. Women don't seem to be as supportive of other women as I would think they might. Maybe it is all about the reptile brain here. But women have the power reproductively--every species needs to have females in order for procreation. While it is true that males of the species may inseminate many females, it is the female that incubates the embryos and cares for the young. I see that as being very powerful. I wonder why human females don't want to own their power and celebrate it. Just some questions that come to mind.

    ReplyDelete
  19. I think women focus too much on each other. They are too obsessed over who looks better, who is a better wife, mother, what have you. Appearances, cultural ideals, etc. and etc.... They're lacking in unity. And when something happens they have no idea what they're supposed to do, because they've been too focused on how they present themselves.
    I don't know. Just my opinion. But I have friends who stayed in abusive marriages because they couldn't stand the blow to their pride a divorce would cause.

    ReplyDelete
  20. Funny how we're sometimes on the same wave. Jack asked me the other day who the pope was, and I went off on a rant about why I was angry with him, and the exclusiveness of all these silly men in the church etc etc. Maybe not what the five year old was looking for. But he got it.

    I don't understand why not more women lapse from Catholicism all the time. Maybe the ones that stay are even more masochistic than I am.

    ReplyDelete
  21. I don't have any answers either, but I've asked the same questions you have here.

    Jesus.

    ReplyDelete
  22. Deb- Great minds...

    Syd- I'm not so sure that the back-stabbing thing isn't more of a myth. It may be true, I'm not sure. But I think of the way politicians (mostly male) work and how businessmen work and it seems to me that men are as bad if not worse than women at this. I have found most women to be very supportive. Well, the ones I have been blessed to be around, anyway. Some of them have been pure angels to me.
    But women, like men, are not perfect.

    Angie- And that is just pure-T sad.

    Mwa- I asked my yoga teacher this today and she had no answers beyond that of "loving the ritual, ignoring the men." How do you do that, I wonder when the men are so definitely in charge.

    Ms. Bastard- Beloved- Jesus, indeed.

    ReplyDelete

Tell me, sweeties. Tell me what you think.