Wednesday, August 6, 2008
A Short Little Thought
I've been thinking a bit about how strange the medical profession is these days. When I went in and saw that nurse practitioner last Friday I spilled my soul to her. It was messy. The floor probably needed mopping when I left. And she asked me some pretty darn personal questions which were necessary and when she gave me the sample pack of antidepressants to take she had to warn me that if I started having suicidal OR homicidal thoughts, I should definitely call. And I nodded and agreed and took my pills home with me and that was that.
Wouldn't you think that in a perfect world, someone would have called me by now to ask how it was going? Just a simple follow-up? I mean, my anguish was fairly profound and they did give me medication which is supposed to rewire my brain and which, I suppose, could cause me to have homicidal thoughts.
But no. Just call in if I think I might kill myself or someone else and oh, yes, come back in two weeks.
Also, I am thinking, in a perfect world I could have hugged that woman for listening and offering help, but even in my present state of perpetual hugging need, I could not bring myself to put my arms around her, that nurse practitioner in the white coat with the frizzy red hair and the serious expression.