Wednesday, August 20, 2008

I'm Tellin' You

I can't take this girl moving out ONE MORE TIME. She's ripping my heart out.

And these two? They already did.

How much of this coming and going can my old heart take?

When I was a young mother with four kids around me every moment with the chaos and the laundry and the meals and the lessons and the crying and the laughing and the ten thousandth viewing of Lady And The Tramp, I just thought I'd die if I didn't get some peace and quiet. Some time to myself.

And guess what?

That's not how it works.

That's not how it works at all.

Because all that chaos and cooking and mess and washing and worry and coming and going and work and noise- that was life.

The only one I've known for over thirty years.

I think it might be the quiet that kills me and wouldn't that just be ridiculous? Wouldn't that just be the way?

I need to find a new way. A new dance, a new reason to get up and get on with it.
And it's a struggle.
I feel like I'm going through another birth process.

Uh, Nurse, can I get my epidural now?


  1. Oh Ms. Moon...
    I find myself willing my son to move out and move on already...and then just as soon find myself knowing that I will very much miss him when he does.
    Go find Mr. Moon and get some huggin'

  2. You liked the quiet. The quiet will be good, just different. Besides, they will be all over the place come Thanksgiving and you will be running wild with it all again.

  3. Ms. Lemonade- Okay. As soon as Mr. Moon gets home, he's going to get a LOT of huggin'.
    And Juancho- you think? I need to learn to like the quiet again. Maybe I'll take up meditation.
    And you're right. Thanksgiving is right around the corner. It will be grand!

  4. you are entering a new life stage, and of course the transition is difficult- just like I'm sure it was hard to adjust to having your first child.

    Think of it as an opportunity to discover new hobbies, rediscover old ones, get involved with some good organizations like a book club or a yoga class, hang out with Mr Moon, have freaky sex on the kitchen table, walk around naked all day long, etc :)

  5. oh and if it gets too quiet, you can blast your music and know that no one will say boo!

  6. Oh Ms. Eden- I already take yoga and as to walking around naked- uh, the neighbors would complain. FREAKY SEX?!!!- my children read this blog!
    But I will remember to turn the music UP!

  7. I was talking to my wife the other day about all the things we might do when the poopers go to college. Wouldn't it be cool if all that planning lead to something?
    I want them out sometimes, but if I see a picture of them as little kids after a couple beers, the water works turn on.

  8. My dog helps a bit, but I just checked the adoption sites for myself, and you want to really break your heart? Find out that you're too old to adopt. All those rotten parents are better than I would be. Hell, the state probably wouldn't allow me custody of my own grandchild at this age. And if I hated clubs before, well, I hate them more now. But our oxytocin levels eventually drop and, thus, our nurturing instincts. Like momma cat who nurses and protects and then a year or so later meets her offspring in an alley and doesn't recognize him (from a line in an Anne Tyler book). Juancho? Who's he? Hurt? Buck up.
    I wish....

  9. Empty nest- hit me hard , too. After all those years of needing me it is so difficult to face the not-needs. But they are the birds that flew away because we did a great job. Their independence, their confidence, their choices; we put themm there. Say good job to works.

  10. Brother B- I have BOXES of old pictures I need to organize and put in albums and I can't do it because I can't stand to look at all those baby faces. Isn't that horrible? I love my grown children but I miss those babies. Breaks my heart.

    Lo- you want another dog? Or two?

    Ms. Sally- yep. I know. I do. Thanks for reminding me.

  11. No more dogs. Like with my kids, I lucked out with the one I got and don't want to push my luck. :)

  12. I saw 3 sunsets in Florida - one for each night I was there, fortunately, or I would have demanded a recount. None of them had any hanging chads.


Tell me, sweeties. Tell me what you think.