This has been a remarkable Christmas. I woke up this morning feeling for sure that the knife-cut, thoughts-of-death crazy had fled. I mean, this is subtle, y'all, but real and true. I have no more idea why and how it left than I have a clue as to why it came.
I guess that's why they call it crazy. There's regular crazy and there's I-can't-go-on-like-this crazy. The former is my home, the latter? Well, the name says it all.
Anyway, I haven't wept or had thoughts of suicide all day long. For me- this is a fucking Christmas Miracle.
We had a great time at Lily's this morning. Owen was crazed and Gibson was dazed. That's the difference between age four and age not-yet-two. Owen was like, "WHAT???? NO MORE PRESENTS?" and Gibson was like, "What? Another present? But I already have this one."
The family portrait:
Owen refusing to show his face. Man, he had a GREAT Christmas. Seriously, he did.
And after the delicious egg and hashbrown casserole and presents, Mr. Moon and I came home and I talked to two of my three brothers and that was so sweet. And then we took off for a drive down country lanes.
We drove down to Reeve's Fish Camp on Lake Miccosukee and walked the levee at the dam. The sky was gorgeous.
There was a lot going on at the fish camp. Yellin' and ducks taking off and dogs barking and cats meowing but there was a preternatural peace to it all too.
And now we're home and I'm going to cook some grouper.
Oh- here's another thing- I found out today that my stepfather died six weeks after Mother died.
Rather incredibly profound. The Asshole Monster is dead and has been for almost eleven months. And I had no idea.
Well, it's been a year. And I feel certain that I'll be doing some processing over that fact.
But it's been a damn fine Christmas.
May it have been for you as well.