Jesus Christ. Oh shit. I'm a sinner. Taking the Lord's name in vain, etc.
Why is anyone surprised? The man is weird. The man self-proclaims as Godly. The man shows small children how to remove the guts of a duck for a school (Christian school, of course) demonstration. The man talks about sex way too much. The man is obsessed with sex and has used the Bible to underscore his belief that God wants man to have sex with his wife and that it's her duty to go along with this plan whenever it should suit the man.
The man is also richer than fucking Midas. Or at least I would assume so as you can't go to a damn gas station without seeing a display of fine Duck Dynasty shit to buy including Chia Pets and socks and when I was in the fabric store, I noticed a display of official Duck Dynasty camo fabric.
I mean- it's a perfect American success story. Phil invented a duck call that was obviously unlike any duck call ever made before in the history of the universe and the whole family got into the duck call business and then they made a TV show about them which led to the Duck Dynasty Chia Pet and there you go. And yes, I enjoyed the first few seasons of the show. There were definitely elements of it I could relate to being married to a hunter. But then it got sort of weird and over-scripted and Phil became more and more stern and judgmental about everything from Yuppies (anyone who doesn't live in the Louisiana woods and who doesn't know how to remove the guts from a duck, basically) to modern technology.
And the show is one of the highest rated shows on television today which, when you think about it, is odd because it's not about anything and it "stars" some extremely bearded men who live in Louisiana and who supposedly sit around and make duck calls by hand (haha!) and who love to hunt and who all live in mansions (except for Phil who still lives in what I would call a double-wide) with their beautiful wives to whom they've all been married since high school and their children. And one of the sons has an adopted child who is of mixed race and that's sort of cool, especially since they named that child the Junior of the family. Simple people doing simple things in their simple mansions, buying their simple wineries and ending each and every episode with everyone sitting around a table groaning with giant platters and bowls of rustic foods and Phil says the blessing which usually carries the message that God has made Man the boss of all of the animals and the woods and Everything and how cool is that? And then they all fork in to the giant platters of roasted game and other tasty treats, supposedly cooked by the ladies of the family while there's a voice-over by one of the sons proclaiming the eternal goodness of family and the Simple Life.
But here's the thing- fans of the show are up in arms (quite literally, probably) about the firing of Phil and the family is threatening to just stop the filming entirely because they can't go on without their patriarch. So good for them. They've already all got their mansions and Miss Kay, the long-suffering matriarch has already had her plastic surgery and the kids all have their own massive American pick-up trucks. They have every right to believe that homosexuality is akin to bestiality and that before Civil Rights, black Americans were godly and happy as can be, chopping cotton from dawn to dark and they even have every right to say that shit but the network has the right to fire them too. So there's that. But what freaks me out is that so many people are staunchly on the side of Phil who admits his life at one time was all about sex, drugs, and rock and roll but who now completely encapsulates God, Guns, and Guts, and it's like all of these people suddenly have a mouthpiece saying exactly what they believe which is some vile and evil stuff and they are crying Free Speech! Free Speech! Phil for President! etc.
Which makes me feel sort of sick.
Did you read about the Target credit card debacle?
Life goes on.
Life does go on until it doesn't and I can get a new debit card and the world will probably survive without Duck Dynasty if it comes to that. The family can get back to their Godly Simple Lives ways although I do admit that I will miss Jase who is cuter than a damn bug and also Crazy Uncle Si, the guy who was in Viet Nam and who, despite everything, seems to be relatively untouched by the madness of the success, his own madness being the stronger force and who seems to take a childlike delight in everything.
Of course I haven't read his book so I don't really know.
And if you want to get the bad taste out of your mouth about this whole stupid situation which I don't know why I even wrote about except that it's a distraction from my own madness, please go here and be reminded that although we have some extremely sad and weird stuff going on in our culture, light and love are indeed making progress throughout the world.
Happy Friday, y'all.