Monday, December 16, 2013

And Elizabeth Was Right. There Is Light

It is as bright today as if clouds had never been invented. Not one tiny wisp of a mare's tail in the sky and it was cold this morning when I got up but it is warming now and I've had a walk and taken trash and gone to the Post Office and they are paving the road in front of my house with beeps and trucks and giant rollers and tar and all of the things paving requires.

I feel myself open up a bit to it all but as if after an illness, I am not quite well. Not quite there. It is a physical thing when these dark moods come upon me. I feel it in my eyes, in my body.
It is a sickness and one I sorely wish I lived without.

But. Here we are. And I took that picture of the planted pines from the woods where I walk and also, the camellias. They are on a huge bush in front of what is now an abandoned house but which used to be, I hear, the doctor's house. The first house in Lloyd with a phone. Or so goes the lore.

I dreamed of a house last night. It was one I had lived in before, although in my waking moments, I realized it was an amalgam of many houses I have lived in. I felt glad to be back in it, comforted, at ease. There was much work to be done but I was happy to have the job of it, to re-nest. I made my husband a piece of toast and spread butter on it and then jam and was happy to be doing that, too, the simplest thing- a piece of toast made for someone I love.
I suppose I was comforting myself in my sleep.

I need to find boots for a boy. That is my job today.
And it is not such a bad one.


  1. My city knows clouds well but they are parting and it just may prove to be a sunny day.

  2. for a brief moment I thought you wrote that they were paving the road in front of your house with Peeps and I was for a brief moment full of Holy Wonder.

  3. I believe we do work things out in our sleep. I'm glad your sleeping brain knew to mother yourself a little bit.

    It seems like a good time to remember that the longest night is almost here, and then the light begins to come back.

  4. Birdie- It helps so much when our hearts are down to have the light of the sun.

    Madame Rebecca- Hahahahahahahahaha!

    Ms. Vesuvius- Yes. The world will tilt back towards the light. It IS good to remember that.

  5. Your second paragraph is such a good way to describe it.

    Looks like it was a pretty day after all. Hope you found some boots!

  6. I'm pretty sure 'The Road Paved With Peeps' would be a Nora Ephron essay were she alive and around to write it.

  7. I'm sorry that you are feeling down. It happens to me and I simply want to isolate. Hope that things are better for you soon. I know that they are good now but you know what I mean...just better in our heads.


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