Monday, December 16, 2013
And Elizabeth Was Right. There Is Light
It is as bright today as if clouds had never been invented. Not one tiny wisp of a mare's tail in the sky and it was cold this morning when I got up but it is warming now and I've had a walk and taken trash and gone to the Post Office and they are paving the road in front of my house with beeps and trucks and giant rollers and tar and all of the things paving requires.
I feel myself open up a bit to it all but as if after an illness, I am not quite well. Not quite there. It is a physical thing when these dark moods come upon me. I feel it in my eyes, in my body.
It is a sickness and one I sorely wish I lived without.
But. Here we are. And I took that picture of the planted pines from the woods where I walk and also, the camellias. They are on a huge bush in front of what is now an abandoned house but which used to be, I hear, the doctor's house. The first house in Lloyd with a phone. Or so goes the lore.
I dreamed of a house last night. It was one I had lived in before, although in my waking moments, I realized it was an amalgam of many houses I have lived in. I felt glad to be back in it, comforted, at ease. There was much work to be done but I was happy to have the job of it, to re-nest. I made my husband a piece of toast and spread butter on it and then jam and was happy to be doing that, too, the simplest thing- a piece of toast made for someone I love.
I suppose I was comforting myself in my sleep.
I need to find boots for a boy. That is my job today.
And it is not such a bad one.