It's a Saturday morning and I've already been deserted by my man for the rest of the day and the night. Deserted like an old mining town. Deserted like a desert highway. Deserted like a dessert bar at a carboholoic-recovery rehab facility.
I just made all that shit up.
Not the part about being deserted.
It's all right. I gave him my full and heartfelt permission. Not that he needed that but I did. An old friend whom he hasn't seen in awhile asked him up to his lake house for a day of bream fishing and an evening of...well, I have no idea. It will be manly, I am sure, and will involve Tito's vodka.
I wonder if they'll show each other pictures of their grandchildren from their phones.
That could happen.
So here I am, deserted on the muggiest day you can imagine and Elvis wants to be let out and he keeps hollering at me. Men! It's always their agenda, right? Well, okay, sure. Not like I have anything else I have to do. I guess I'll just pull up my big girl panties and get some shit done around here. Fun shit like cleaning the shit out of the hen house and whacking down the dead bananas and cutting back the dead phlox and picking up all the downed sticks and branches and doing the laundry.
Then for some real fun, I'll sweep the porches!
Oh yeah, it really stinks on this back porch. For those of you who were wondering about my dead rodent situation. I think about all the maggot activity going on under my house and in my walls and I just, well, I just have to accept it and move on and keep the fly swatter at hand.
There was a scene in that movie I watched yesterday that I'm thinking about at this second. The main character's friends had all deserted him (that word again) after they discovered he had AIDS. This was in a bar and they called him all sorts of pussy-names and wouldn't let him sit by them and after he spit on a few, he left the bar and on his way out, he turned and gave them the finger and said, "Fuck alla y'all!"
Why am I thinking of this scene? I don't know. I don't feel like telling a room full of homophobic rednecks "Fuck alla y'all!" Do I?
Nah. It's just muggy and I really need to get out there in it and tidy up this yard and I guess I'm not really in the mood. I have no idea what I'm in the mood for but that's another story and another issue and the leaves are falling and scented candles DON'T DO SHIT TO COVER UP THE ODOR OF DEAD AND DECAYING RODENTS and that's my household tip of the day.
You are welcome.