and how much I loved it/ them. When it first came on I hated it because I was thirty-something and I already had half-grown kids AND babies and so the frustrations of young yuppies with children and marriages and relationships and blah, blah, blah seemed so trite and precious but then I got hooked and I fell in love with almost all of the characters and now- where ARE they? Okay, sure, they've all done a little acting here and there but mostly not.
Oh god. When Gary died I almost lost my mind. I loved Melissa so much, that red-headed mess of a girl, the way her face would crumple when she cried.
This all got me to thinking of this show and these people
and yes, we know about Janine Turner and Christoga and sure, Chris In The Morning has gone on to good and beautiful things and Joel, yeah, he was on that weird show called Numbers but with some of the letters backwards, but where are Maurice and Marilyn and Holling and Shelly? And where the hell is ED CHIGLIAK? God, Ed, I miss you so much.
Rest in peace, Peg.
Did all of these people sign a deal with the devil to allow them to be in some of the best television ever made but that would prevent them from ever getting good roles again?
It's like you got invited into these wonderful little universes and you fell in love and you became fully invested and then, BOOM! gone and there's not even a funeral, a ritual to allow us to let go and move on.
Well, shit. Good morning. I'm going to town today to go shopping with Lily and the boys. I forget what we're shopping for. Something Lily needs. And I need to drop a few things off at the library...
Here's what Owen said yesterday when Mr. Moon told him he was going hunting this weekend:
"Boppy, I hope you shoot a deer and then you can cut off his head and put it on the wall and eat the body for you dinner. But don't eat the hooves!"
And that pretty much sums it up.
Good morning, good morning, I am rushing and it is cold and clear and the camellias are blooming to beat the band and I miss my imaginary friends and maybe the library has a few seasons of one of those shows I could check out and wouldn't it be wonderful, wouldn't it be a sweet, sweet miracle if we could check out episodes of our lives to watch, go back and see ourselves and our sweethearts and friends and family when we were all younger and prettier when we were just getting started or would it make us so sad that we would be like Emily in Our Town and beg to make it stop because we just had no idea how beautiful it was, even a cup of coffee, a first kiss, a baby's first cry, the way the light makes bright jewels of fallen leaves on the ground, our faces unlined and our eyes so clear, not having the slightest idea what all lays before us, what all our eyes will behold as we live this miraculous life which goes by so fast and then we disappear, one by one and how can we bear it? as Emily asks.
I don't know, I don't know.
I just know that it is a beautiful day and I want to gather it all up in my arms and pull it towards me and hold it as long as I can, all of the glittering crazy beauty of it, even the parts that cut and burn with their sharpness, with their heat.