Why Do I Inflict This Pain On Myself?

So full.
So, so, so full. Honestly, I ate more than I usually do at Thanksgiving and I do not know why but I did and it doesn't seem to matter- every Thanksgiving I feel the same way after the meal which is almost desperate to lay down.

Here's some pictures. Mostly of kids. Because kids are cute.

This is how Maggie looks when she's not getting her way. Lenore and Gibson were doing their best to prevent her from taking the wagon back to the mud. She was not happy. 

According to his parents, August went to bed for his nap with normal hair and woke up with this. Is he being inhabited by the spirit of Billy Idol? We have no idea but it is as soft and fluffy as a baby chick's and we love it. 

We love babies too. 

I'd show you some pictures of food but I didn't take any and at this very moment I never want to look at food again. 

Hope your Thanksgiving was everything you dreamed. 

Does Alka Seltzer really work?

Love...Ms. Moon

Thanksgivings, Past And Present

Little Man says, "Power to the People! Power to the People, oh yeah!"

Goodness gracious. Thanksgiving sure is different for me than it was a few years ago. Instead of being the first person up in a house full of people sleeping everywhere, I was the last person up in a house full of...two. Instead of having a list as long as my arm of dishes to prepare and check off as I go, I have one thing I need to cook today and it is in the oven. Where once chaos reigned on Thanksgiving morning now no one is even watching the Macy's Day parade. I'm sure there IS chaos happening at Lily's house and maybe Jessie's too but at my house there is peace and quiet and a cleaned up kitchen and a dishwasher chugging and instead of doing complete kitchen clean-ups ten or twelve times before dinner is even served, I'm done until I mess things up a bit making the gravy and whipping the cream. 

So weird. 

And yet...lovely. 

Okay. Turkey Fun Fact: Four days in the refrigerator is NOT ENOUGH TIME to thaw a frozen 14 pound turkey. Nope. It's gonna take a lot of hot water (I've never killed anyone yet) before you can even get the giblet Popsicles our of the damn thing, much less stuff it. Please forgive me, vegetarians and vegans. And yes, if I'd had to raise and slaughter that bird we'd be having some nice pinto beans for dinner. I am a big fat hypocrite but I am at peace with that. 

Anyway, the turkey is in the oven, filled with my incredibly non-gourmet, prosaic stuffing. This is one thing I just can't budge on. I am sure that stuffings and dressings made with homemade bread and currents and apricots and sausage and whatever else that people put in it are delicious but my god, I just love the Pepperidge Farm kind made with onions and celery and pecans. I do mix the Pepperidge Farm crumbs with a cornbread that I make the day before, seasoned with sage and thyme and crumbled up to marry happily with the commercial stuff. And I add a few cut up hardboiled eggs. I have made it with oysters before and I enjoyed that but honestly- I could just eat a bowl of this stuffing with some cranberries on the side and be completely delighted with Thanksgiving. 

Unfortunately, not everyone feels this way. And there will be THREE types of stuffing at Lily's house this afternoon and THREE types of gravy. There are going to be so many casseroles that the table will not hold them all. Two turkeys- my traditionally baked Butterball and a fried turkey. 

Yes. A fried turkey. 

Nothing could go wrong with that plan, is how I feel about frying a turkey but Jason and Lily are braver than I am. 

Oh, the Thanksgivings I remember! 

The year that a friend of mine drove all the way up from St. Pete to have dinner with us and got so perturbed when I pleaded with him not to replace the Vivaldi I was listening to on the CD player in a vain attempt to calm myself as I was making a meal single-handedly for twenty, with the blues he loved so much that he got in his car and left and went home. 

All the years that my friend Lynn would come over on Thanksgiving morning before she had to be at her family's gathering to dance a little bit and to do a shot of rum with me. She'd always say, "Yum rum! Whoop-ai-ay! and down it would go.

The year I tore my knee up dancing with Owen the night before Thanksgiving at our then-traditional Thanksgiving Eve party and could not stand and cook so the children put me in Mr. Moon's huge and comfy recliner and gave me pain medication and cooked the whole dinner themselves. This might have been my favorite Thanksgiving ever. I was so happy. 

Needless to say.

The year that Mr. Moon and I ran away to Dog Island all by ourselves, deserting our family. May made the kids' Thanksgiving dinner that year and I made a tiny chicken with stuffing and some green beans and potatoes for me and my love. I believe everyone may have been delighted with the stress free event that year. 

Except for possibly May.

The year my oven quit working on Thanksgiving morning and we had to use our out-of-town next door neighbor's oven and the turkey was so damn big that Mr. Moon had to take it back and forth in a little red wagon. 

This morning Mr. Moon went out to the garage to get the turkey from the refrigerator in there for me and I ran out to go with him. We held hands and went to let the chickens out. 

I have no idea why (last night's joy, perhaps, still leaking from my heart?) but I am feeling so tender and loving this morning and I said, "It wouldn't bother me if we just stayed right here and ate that turkey and the cranberry sauce and the pies all by ourselves."

We laughed a little, feeling guilty, but not very guilty, mostly feeling thankful that we still love each other enough that we truly would be happy to spend the day alone together. 

There are many, many ways to celebrate Thanksgiving and if you have something to be thankful for, the rest is gravy, as they say. 

But gravy is good and I'm sure that fried turkey is too and we have so much to be thankful for. 

And I am thankful for you. 

Love...Ms. Moon

I Went Out And Did Not Die And It Was So Very, Very Good

I was a whiny, bitchy baby today and did the things I needed to do and made the pies and the cornbread for the stuffing and drove to town and did some things there I had to do and then this evening, I pulled up my big girl panties and did the thing I knew I should but which, because I am who I have become, was so hard, and put on a pretty dress and some make up and jewelry and Mr. Moon and I drove back to town and first we went by Jessie and Vergil's house because I suddenly realized that I missed Levon way too much.

Vergil's sister and brother-in-law and their three children and Vergil's dad and his wife were all there, eating Thanksgiving Dinner Part One and they sang us the Thanksgiving Dinner Song which they'd all been singing and I got to hold Levon who looked at me as I spoke to him with those deep, deep eyes, and August grabbed his grandfather's arm and said, "Come," and Boppy followed him to see what he wanted him to see. We only stayed long enough to kiss and hug everyone and remind Levon of who we are and August wanted to come with us when we left.
"Mer's car," he said.
"Boppy and I are on a date," I told him. We will see you tomorrow."
"Auggie date," he said, and oh, my heart broke for having to leave him but he had his cousins and his aunt and his uncle and his mama and his daddy and his brother and his grandfather and his Go-Go and I knew he would be okay.

And then my husband and I drove to the place where people that I love were playing music and people that I love were listening to them and May and Michael were there and it was exactly the right thing to have done.
I could write an epic tome about the people there tonight and our history and how we are bonded, how we are bound, but over the years I've already done that and it was beautiful.

There were children of my friends and their children and even a grandchild, making my friends great grandparents and all of us old folks were younger than the children are now by far when we met. 

And here we were. Still here! And those fellows are still making music and it's music that came from a place of the complete joy of being together again- a once-a-year-event, and those of us in the audience closed our eyes and swayed and remembered and whistled and whooed! and clapped our hands and sang along with them, the words embroidered in our souls like the borders on a crazy quilt, like the various and splendored threads woven deep into a cloth which makes up our lives. 

Which they do. 

This is always my favorite part of all of the holidays. The catching up, the holding on tightly to each other, the music, the memories of so long ago (just yesterday), all we've been through since then and still...here we are, here we are, here we are...celebrating new lives, paying tribute to those not with us anymore and still sorely and grievously missed, the spirits of them still around us, the spirits of those we were, still within us. 

Thanks Giving. 

Love...Ms. Moon

How To Have Fun When You're Old

I had to get up obscenely early today in order to get to an 8:00 dental appointment which for some reason, I had absolutely no anxiety about. In February I was having trouble with one of my back molars and went to see the dentist then about it and he took an x-ray and said that it was not going to be around forever (I can't remember what was killing it but my best bet is old age) and told me my options, one of which was to just wait and see how much mileage I could get on it, which is what I did. He thought it would be good until June which seemed to just be a random month that he plucked from the air so here we are in November and it's been bothering me again and that's why I went to the dentist.
And it was the most hilarious dental appointment I've ever had and to be honest, sort of fun.
For one thing, no one was in the office but the doc and his court of beautiful hygienists and assistants and the desk lady and he was still wearing his workout clothes. He wore them into the exam room where I'd been escorted and had the Official Paper Bib chained to my chest and the first thing I said was, "Let me just say that I'm very glad you decided not to dress up for me today."
And I really felt so much more comfortable than I would have if he'd been wearing scrubs.
So he laughed and listened to my story and looked at the tooth and the old x-ray and asked me what I wanted to do and I said, "You're the dentist," and then he gave me my options and I said, "Let's just pull it."
"Okay," he said. "You want to do it now? I've got twenty minutes before my first patient comes in."
"Well, I have to go to Costco with a bunch of grandchildren," I said. "And it's about to be Thanksgiving."
So it was determined that he would give me some antibiotics and I made an appointment to get it pulled on Monday. And then we chatted about other things including grandchildren which he does not have nor does he want because he's vain and doesn't want to think of himself as a grandpa which he freely admitted. I thought that was hysterical. He's older than I am but not by much. We also talked about root canals which he doesn't think too highly of any more. And he had a few words to say about dentists who only see people with Hollywood teeth and what all they do to preserve the mouths of beauty which most regular people simply don't need. We also discussed Thanksgiving and Christmas and family gatherings and he's sitting there sprawled on the rolling doctor chair and I'm lounging on the exam chair with my feet pulled up and just being as comfortable as I can be and the assistant was standing at her post with very good posture and she was certainly wearing her scrubs and I think her eyes almost rolled out of her head with the shit-shootin' going on in front of her at 8:12 a.m. on a Tuesday.
I ran into my dental hygienist on the way out and we did a quick catch-up and hugged and I told her about Levon and I guess the doctor heard me because when I left he was singing the Elton John Levon at the top of his voice although, as one of the women told him, "That's not the right tune."
I don't think he cared and the desk lady told me that she had no idea what was going on with him today and that he was being embarrassing but like I said, it was the absolute very best dental exam I have ever experienced in my many years.

A little while after that, I went to Costco with Lily and her three precious hellcats. Look at Maggie!

She had pigtails and her pink overalls and a pinstriped button up shirt and she was the most adorable child in the world. And Owen and Gibson hugged me and hugged me and at one point, Owen just came up and held on to me like he was saving me in his heart for forever. 

When we were standing in line to get our purchases tallied with the receipt, a woman standing in line at the returns desk started to slowly, slowly, fall backwards. It was as if she were falling in slow motion. There were at least four people standing there and aware of what was happening and holding out their arms to catch her and help her gently down to the floor. She was a very lovely older lady, turned out and stylish, hair done, make-up on, and she'd just given blood that morning. I imagine she needed some fluids and maybe some sugar and I did not get involved as a nurse was right there, talking to her and all those arms were holding her as she sat on the floor. 

I hope she is okay. I imagine she is. 

And then we all went to China First and had a buffet lunch and Gibson said many things that made me laugh and now I can't think of a one. Here's something I find odd- at that particular Chinese buffet, my very favorite thing of all of the dishes is fried zucchini. They get zucchini which are almost obscenely huge and slice and fry them perfectly so that they are delicious crunchy on the outside and tender on the inside. 

That's about all of the important things that happened to me today. Fun at the dentist's, shopping at Costco, eating zucchini, loving my grandchildren. Oh! And it rained! A beautiful, good rain and I will admit that I napped while it was happening, as content as Jack who napped beside me. 

Here's a picture of young Levon who has changed tremendously in the first week and a half of his life. 

Don't you think he looks like a history teacher named George? I do. And I love him so much it hurts. 

Love...Ms. Moon

Down To The River To Pray, Again And Again And Again

It was chilly, chilly this morning but by the time we got on the river, it was absolutely perfect. There were only a few people at the Wacissa who were also putting in kayaks and canoes. Vergil inflated his kayak and gave August his paddle.

I put August's PFD on him and we got in the kayak and pushed off down the beautiful river. The water was clear as could be, there were so many birds, and the sky was gorgeous with clouds wisping like an old man's beard. 

The trees were starting to show color, especially the cypresses. I showed August the cypress knees and said, "Did you know that trees could have knees?"

I am not sure if he was suitably impressed. 

We saw a tree with nine white ibis in it and we saw a great blue heron. We saw lots and lots of the common gallinule and a couple of woodpeckers, doing their wing scoop flight from tree to tree. We saw small white herons and we saw birds which I am ashamed to say I did not know the name of. 

We saw beautiful flowers, too. 

Vergil paddled us down the river a ways and August wanted snacks so we broke those out in the kayak. It was one of those easy, whatever days. 

And then we slipped into the little side stream where the Blue Hole is. The Blue Hole is a bottomless depth in the river which, if we had been in Mexico would be called a cenote. The cenotes were sacred to the Maya as passageways to the underworld and the Blue Hole is sacred too. In the summer it can be a raucous place with boats anchored and tied up, people swimming and jumping from rope swings, music bouncing off the trees which form the bowl around the depths of the hole. But today, everything was quiet and at peace and we had the place to ourselves and could feel the holiness there, the wonder, the mystery, perhaps even a limestone passageway to something, at least, that can be felt but not seen. It was beautiful.

We tied up to the little floating dock and that's where we had our picnic which consisted of more snacks. Cheese and crackers and nuts and apples and grapes and tangerines and dark chocolate and of course, chips and salsa and guacamole!

We fed corn chips to the little fish who came to see what we were doing and those they ate but when we tried to give them little bites of grape, they would take them into their mouths and then spit them out. It seemed that each of the fish had to go through this process, not trusting the opinion of his or her brethren. A perfect lunch on a perfect day. 

We cleaned up all of our trash and got back in the kayak and headed to the shore. It had been a short but wonderful trip and I was proud of August who was calm and patient although he did ask about one million questions, many of them either, "Auggie doing?" or "That called?" 

Vergil is so patient with him, so sweet. 

He finally said, "Well, August, it seems like Auggie would know best what Auggie is doing," and so it would seem, but somehow, August needs to hear an objective opinion on the matter quite frequently. 

There were several times during our little voyage where we just sat and watched and silently took it all in. I thought about how lucky I was to have grown up on a river, near an ocean, and then a lake, to have had so much water in my life and all of the life that surrounds and inhabits water. That is where I find my church. That is where I am moved to tears, simply to be present and open to it all. I am also so very lucky to have a son-in-law who is so wise in the ways of the outdoors and who respects all that being on the river means. 

And then, to make perfection even more perfect, August sang to us on the way home. He sang both his night-night song which is about all of the people who love him and also, Row, row, row your boat, gently down the stream. Merrily, merrily, merrily, merrily...

Life is but a dream. 

And some days, that is purely the truth.

Love...Ms. Moon

Vocabulary Lesson

That is a Zippy doll exactly like the one I had as a child although not the same one. When eBay first started up, the only thing I could think of that I wanted was another Zippy and eventually, I found this one and bought him.
I loved my Zippy more than words can say. I wish I knew what happened to him. He was the first true love of my life and when I see him up there on the mantel of one of my bedrooms, he brings me a sense of sweetness. He is holding a tiny monkey doll that Lily made me when she was a little girl, just learning to use a needle and thread, and they have lived there happily for at least a decade. I do let the grandchildren touch them and cuddle them but I always watch to make sure that they are gentle with the old chimp and when they are through with him, I put him back up on his perch with his little friend.

There is absolutely no reason I am talking about Zippy tonight except for the fact that I have been playing with my new camera and took his picture a few minutes ago. I am truly enjoying my new phone but I feel, as I have with each of my computers AND iPhones that I could probably launch a manned spaceship to Mars with the power and technology I have if I only knew how. I do not know how and in fact, had to ask Siri how to access the flashlight on my phone. I've been fooling around in the Settings whatever-you-call-it and yesterday discovered a new word which is "haptics." Specifically, "system haptics."
Here is what I found:

hap·tic

ˈhaptik/

adjective

technical

1. relating to the sense of touch, in particular relating to the perception and manipulation of objects using the senses of touch and proprioception.

Okay, you may well say- what the hell is "proprioception"? 

Back to google:

proprioception. (prō'prē-ō-sěp'shən) The unconscious perception of movement and spatial orientation arising from stimuli within the body itself. In humans, these stimuli are detected by nerves within the body itself, as well as by the semicircular canals of the inner ear.

And now I am just as confused as ever but baby, I have system haptics activated because I definitely want to experience the unconscious perception of movement and spatial orientation when I use my iPhone. Who wouldn't? 

It's all so Star Trek to me. And I sort of love it. 

And it all makes me feel like a lot of folks are still using psychedelic drugs which I approve of heartily if done by ADULTS IN A PROPER SETTING AND AT A PROPER TIME! 

Steve Jobs took plenty. Trust me. 

Wow. This is not the post I set out to write tonight and in all honesty, I had no idea what I was going to write but here we are, tripping down the path of free-range, stream of consciousness. 

It's been a good day. I did a little of this and a little of that and not much of anything. 

However, I DID make biscuits so the day was not a total waste. 

Here's a picture Jessie posted on Facebook this morning. 

The heart that I sewed to his onesie and then embroidered seemed so tiny until Jessie put it on Levon. She practically snatched the onesie from me last night saying, "It's ready. I love it."

"But, but, but..." I sputtered. "I haven't outlined the elephant or filled in his feet or..."

I have to go buy some more onesies because I had too much fun doing that to not do more of it. And I want to get some new patterns to make Maggie some flannel dresses for winter. I have beautiful floral flannel prints left over from making quilts in the old days and I want to use them for my little girl. 

And tomorrow morning I am going to go kayaking with Vergil and August on the Wacissa River. As I think I said before, I am so honored that Vergil asked me to go with them. He wants to take August paddling and needs someone to just sit and hold the boy and love on him and give him snacks. I think it will be a beautiful experience. 

And I will have ample opportunity to use my new iPhone camera. Which I will put in a Ziplock. 

And there you go- from Zippy to a Ziplock to put my newest plaything in while I am paddled down one of the most truly gorgeous, serene rivers in Florida, holding on to my grandson, seeing what humans have been seeing for thousands of years, unspoiled and in its natural state.

There will probably be alligators! Or, maybe not. It's going to get into the thirties tonight and they'll probably all be holed up somewhere doing whatever it is that alligators do in winter. 

Wait. I just looked that up. 

They BRUMATE!

What?! 

Here you go.

brumation (uncountable)

1. A lethargic state in reptiles and in some other animal species (e.g. bears), somewhat analogous to hibernation but not the same.

I have never heard that word in my life. 

Sixty-three years old and I learn new things every day. 

Love...Ms. Moon

Levon Comes To Visit And I Get A New Phone And Meet A Very Nice Person

Going to make this short tonight because I am weary to the bone but it's a sweet weariness- it was such a good day despite my whining about it this morning. And Levon did make it out to the house for the first time and he seemed to be okay with it all. He slept and nursed and peed and pooped and nursed some more and slept for more. I even got to snuggle in with him on my bed after supper until I almost fell asleep. Heaven.

I got my phone this afternoon and that turned out to be a really nice experience. They guy at Verizon who helped me was simply splendid in all regards as he answered all of my questions and gave me all the information I needed and by the time it was over, we knew each others' philosophies of life, I'd seen a video of his nephew, I know what he's studying in collect (economics) and I'd showed him my blog. He was quite impressed that when you google "blessourhearts" my blog comes up first in the list.
Actually, I was impressed too.
He transferred all my information to my new phone for me and he simply could not have been nicer. I asked if I could take his picture and put it on my blog and he said I could.

His name is Shannon Sharpe and he approved this photo. 

Thank you, Shannon, for not making me feel stupid or technically inept and for taking the time to make me feel comfortable. And for laughing at my jokes. You are a fantastic employee and I wish you all the luck in the world as you travel through this life. 

Then I bought the turkey and some other things and came home and made the cranberry sauce and the cranberry relish and then I made a casserole dish of chicken and vegetable enchiladas and Jessie came out the kids and Vergil had shot a deer and brought that back to clean and put in ice and then we all had supper. August was so happy to be back at Mer's. We collected eggs and he wanted me to make him cheese and macaroni to eat in his high chair and so I did. It never ceases to amaze me how children create and then must stick to these routines, these traditions. It must be comforting to them and it is comforting to me, too. 

And we all held Levon and now we're quite melty at the edges, soft and tender in the heart. 

And then we kissed and hugged our big boy who had been put into his pajamas and brushed his teeth.

And now it's time for me to brush my own teeth and put on my white cotton nun nightie and crawl into my sheets. It's been a good day and I am grateful for it. 

Love...Ms. Moon

My World Has Become Small Enough To Be Filled With A Needle And Thread And A Newborn Onesie

I am procrastinating right now because I have to go to town and I don't want to go to town but I have to because Mr. Moon has about one million chores to do to catch up after his week away and he can't go get my phone and so I will. I should also buy a turkey so that it will be thawed by Thanksgiving. Lily hinted mightily that I should just get the good ol' Butterball because when I get the organic grass-fed birds they don't taste as good, so fuck it. I'll go for the processed, less expensive turkey. For me, it's all about using the turkey as a receptacle for stuffing so who cares?

Anyway, la-di-dah and I guess I'm going to have to change out of my overalls and into town clothes and get in the car and go to Verizon and deal with that piece of the day and remember to be grateful as hell that I can view buying a new phone as a pain in the ass rather than what it is- a blessing that we can afford one. Seriously. And of course it'll take me at least all day to try and figure out how to do the magic to transfer all my now-phone stuff to the new phone and there may be tears before the day ends.
I would not be surprised.

What I'd really like to do today is to sit and embroider some more on that little onesie for Levon because quite honestly I've become completely enchanted with needlework, as clumsy as I am at it. I need to finish it up so that he'll still be able to wear it at least once or twice before he outgrows it.

So yes. I am being bitchy and there's a lot more to it but no one needs to hear THAT story so on we go and I hope that you are having a lovely day or can at least frame your day in such a way that it will all have been completely worth it and not too troublesome and keep your sense of humor about you and so on and so forth.

Love...Ms. Moon

Babies, Gardens, Blessings

There's a restaurant in Tallahassee called Backwoods Crossing and with the exception of the Waffle House, it's actually the closest restaurant to my house, I think, if you take the interstate. Like, seven minutes away. I've talked about it before because it's pretty unique, for this area, at least. It's not just a farm-to-table restaurant, it's a farm AND table restaurant and Lily and Maggie and Vergil and Jessie and August and Levon and Mr. Moon and I went there today and it was like having lunch and a field trip, rolled into one.

Magnolia and August were both thrilled to see their Boppy and Maggie hugged him and hugged him and loved on him like he'd been off to war and come home. And August, although not as demonstrative, was happy to see him too.

He has not forgotten that when Levon was born Boppy said they'd come out to our house but Levon came so fast that by the time August had fallen asleep and taken a little nap in the car, he was already home seeing his little brother for the first time. And so he asked if he could come to our house and I told him that this weekend he could. Vergil says he's been talking about it so it's a big deal. Levon needs to come out too because it is time that he is introduced to Mer and Bop's house- its smells and impressions and sounds, so that he will always know that it is his home, too, just as it is for all of the grandchildren.
But back to lunch.

Little boy, big man. That is the chillest baby I may have ever met. He just studies you and studies you. And his mama manages him and August both with apparent ease and much grace. Vergil has stepped in and is enjoying his paternity leave so much. He and August are knocking one project after another off the to-do list. 

Maggie adores her new cousin. "Baby!" she says and holds out her arms. She wants to kiss him and hug him and hold him. August may be somewhat happy that her affection has a new target besides him. She still wants to kiss and hug him too and he always looks around like, "Really? Can't someone do something about this child?"

Now who wouldn't want to be hugged and kissed by that beautiful little cherub of a girl? That hair, those lips! And I do not blame her for wanting to love on August, either.

Look at those eyelashes! He usually gives me the same look he gives Maggie when I'm trying to hug him- patient resignation. 

So we ate our good meals and afterwards, we went outside and checked out the garden area in front of the restaurant. August was fascinated, watching two people plant a bed. 

He was dressed appropriately. 

And after exploring the front garden beds, we walked behind the restaurant where it appears that they have several acres under cultivation as well as a huge hen house where many, many hens looked happy and healthy and the one rooster looked...tired?

What a great set-up and they are using all sorts of horticulturing techniques. Some guys were drilling logs to put shitake mushroom spores in (there's a word for that but I can't think of it) and for someone like me, the whole thing is just thrilling. Composters to compost the chicken shit, fruit trees, so many greens and various heirloom vegetables. It was really just gorgeous and we probably spent most of an hour, walking around and admiring things and asking questions. 

I would have taken more pictures but my phone is wonkier by the moment and I figured out exactly what's wrong with it. Read about it here if you want to and you probably don't. I'm fairly pissed at Apple because this is a completely known design flaw and yet, if your phone gets it you are simply screwed. 

Well, so it goes. 

My husband is home and I am making soup and bread. It is quiet in Lloyd, it is cool, we need rain. 

Friday night. 

Love...Ms. Moon

One Week Old!!

I had to, absolutely HAD to go see the Weatherford boys today. It had been two days since I'd seen Levon, and days and days since I'd seen August, not to mention that today is Levon's one week birthday.
Can you believe that? He is a week old!
Practically ready to get a job!

When I got to Jessie and Vergil's house, Vergil and August were down in the basement putting a piece of Ikea furniture together. August showed me all of the tools they'd been using and he was very excited about this project. There is nothing in the world August loves as much as he loves tools. He's just a born tool-using fool, I tell you. Jessie and I were going to take Levon to the breastfeeding group meeting mostly for her to weigh the lad and see if he'd regained his birth weight yet and August was going to stay with his daddy but he seemed to be pretty excited that I was around and said, "Come too?" and so we put his shoes and his sweater on and took him with us. I'm not sure that he was glad he'd come.

The large room was absolutely filled with mamas and babies as they had a speaker today. She was talking mostly about "tummy time" and as she spoke, I couldn't help but wonder how my children ever learned to walk or talk or even use their opposable thumbs without me having had all of this information. Some of the babies were crying a little because that's what babies do and August seemed to be mind-blown and concerned to see this many small creatures who resembled his brother in looks and in sound. 

"Babies doing?" he asked me about fifty times. 

"Mama's doing?" he asked me about seventy five times. 

"Who lady? She doing?" 

And so forth. 

And then when Jessie undressed Levon and went to weigh him, his concern grew even deeper. 

"Mama doing? Levon doing?"

I offered to carry him over to the scale too to see exactly what mama and Levon were doing but no, he did not care to do that. He stayed right on that chair where he was safe from the danger presented by all those babies. And mamas. And ladies. And...well, all of it. So many babies! So many breasts!

Levon, on the other hand, took it all in stride and at one week he weighs one ounce more than he did when he was born which is very good. Obviously, he is nursing successfully. 

The lactation consultant who runs this group is a nurse I knew somehow back in the old days and she was working on the floor where I was admitted when I had a kidney stone when I was pregnant with Jessie. The funny thing is, she still remembers that. I do too. It was a fucking traumatic event but it passed relatively quickly (the stone AND the event) and Jessie is living proof that a little morphine never hurt any fetus. 

Haha! But it was good to see Heidi. She's just what you'd want in a lactation consultant. Empathetic, non judgmental, simply lovely. 

We packed it all up and left pretty quickly and Vergil made us lunch of quesadillas and the rest of the 7-layer dip that Lily had made for them. Delicious! After he was finished eating, August said he was done and Vergil said, "What does Roo say to Kanga when he is ready to leave the table?"

August grinned like a monkey and said, "'Scused please?"

And we all clapped and Vergil told him that yes, he was excused. He reported that a few days ago when Vergil had asked him this same question he'd gotten a sly and merry look on his face and instead of asking to be excused, he said, "All done!" and then laughed. 

His first joke. 

And Levon? Oh, Levon. That little love. He smiles a lot as he sleeps which makes me think that his dreams must be all about being in utero and that he very much enjoyed that experience. But in the only picture I got of him today he looked as concerned as August had looked at breastfeeding class. 

I told Jessie that he was concerned and rightly so as he'd woken up and there was no nursie to be found. He's such a calm little guy and I can get him to settle down so easily, just rocking him in my arms and talking to him. And when he nurses, he gets right to it and fills up his tummy and then falls asleep if he's tired and has those smiling dreams, or looks around if he's not tired, taking everything in. It is heaven to hold him and talk to his mama about him, to wonder and ponder who he looks like, what he will be like. Will he be like August and love tools? Will he love books and music? Will he continue to be evenly tempered and calm? Will he grow into that nose, just as his brother grew into his? 

Well. He is gorgeous and I love him and his Boppy will be glad to see him. For those of you who have been wondering if I still have a husband- yes. Yes I do. He is on his way home from Georgia now and I will be so glad to see him although I'll be back to doing laundry every day and it'll take me a lot less than three days to fill the dishwasher enough to run it and I'll be going to the store regularly again instead of the ONE TIME DURING THE WEEK I went while he was gone. 

I believe that I will make myself a little chicken broth with a few veggies and some frozen dumplings in it for my supper. One last bachelorette supper before I start in on the real meals again. 

I love my tall husband and gladly take care of him as he takes care of me. And I'll be charmed again to find the little love notes he leaves me most mornings in the kitchen. 

Cats are good for company but they sure as hell don't leave love notes. They leave things like decapitated mice in the bathroom with accompanying entrails. 

Maybe they just did not get enough tummy time as babies. 

Sasangua from my very own yard in ink bottle found by detectorist. 

Love...Ms. Moon

Pretty In Pink

Maggie with fallen sasangua petals. 

Ms. Magnolia and I had a lovely day. One of the things we did was to walk down to the post office and then down Main Street to see Ms. Liola. I don't think she and Maggie had ever met before so we were way past due on that. Maggie was a bit shy around Ms. Liola but when we left she did say, "Bye-bye," and that was good enough. We also ran into a guy who lived around here when we moved to Lloyd but who then moved to Monticello but I think he's moved back now and I can't remember his name. His brother's name is Mango and his name is a type of wine like  Chablis or Chardonnay but actually, I think it may be Pinot. Oh well, whatever his name is, he politely asked Maggie if she'd like to share her crackers but she wasn't having any of that. Uh-huh. She held on to those crackers for at least half an hour. I'm not sure she even had a nibble of one but she wasn't going to give them away.
We fed some other crackers to the chickens and she wasn't thrilled about that. Maggie seems to think that the crackers all belong to her. But we had a good time, sitting on the kitchen porch steps and throwing crackers to the birds and every time one of the roosters crowed she would put her chubby, dimpled hand up to her mouth and make an extremely surprised expression and then I would do the same and we would both laugh.
This never got old, all day long. You'd be surprised how often roosters crow during the daytime.

She played with babies quite a bit and I just could not get a decent picture but at least you can see her serious little face in this one. She would lay them down and put their cover on them and say, "Good night," and then immediately take them out and start the whole process again. My god, but she is so darling. We also played on the play set and she climbed the tower and slid down the slide and she wanted me to push her in the swing and so of course I did. She had a snack of banana and cherry tomatoes.

I made her some sort of fancy fake blue-box organic macaroni and cheese for her lunch but she really didn't eat much of it. I think she was too busy to eat much today. 

By the time her mama got here she was a tired-out little girl, but still not fussy. It is surprisingly easy to keep a child happy when you do everything they want you to. 

It's so funny how different and yet, how similar Maggie and August are. They are both terrifically intelligent but in different ways. Maggie knows all of her colors and just spontaneously tells you what color things are whereas August has no real interest in his colors yet but can already build a block tower. They are both incredibly engaged little souls who like to do tasks of their own devising and they both have pretty darn large vocabularies for kids their age. Without a doubt, they are both exceptional in all regards. I can say that with absolutely certainty because they are my grandchildren and therefore, I am completely objective in judging these matters. 

After Ms. Magnolia left to go home with her mommy, I got out in the garden and did a little more weeding. It's actually starting to look like a garden. I put the sprinkler on in hopes that the seeds I've planted in the last few days sprout and that the onions I planted take root. 

I desperately need to mulch but that involves real physical labor in that I have to rake leaves and haul them to the garden and spread them. I'm trying to gird my loins for that one. In the meantime, I am just glad to have green things to eat which are so fresh they practically bite back when you chew them. 

Life in Lloyd where all is well. 

Love...Ms. Moon

Lagniappe

The guys who are having "band practice" next door make me realize with all of my soul that some things are best practiced without the aid of electricity.

 Bless their hearts.

Medium High Anxiety

Young Levon got farther out into the world today than I did. He had his first outing to Publix, which is pretty appropriate for our family. I got that picture from Jessie asking me which of the 8 O'Clock coffees we like. I told her the French Roast and I'm surprised there are any left after her father took such advantage of the BOGO.

I just woke up feeling like I really wanted to stay close to home this morning. I believe the past week of glory has left me a little crashed. So I took a walk and did some weeding and that is truly just about all I did. Besides take a nap.
Anxiety can wear you out. Put my hand on the Bible, folks, it really can.

So whatever, it's not like if I take one day off to be lazy the world will cease to function as we know it. Tomorrow I'm going to babysit the Magnificent Magnolia while her mama goes on a field trip with Owen so I'll be feeling more useful then. It'll be good to have my little girl all to myself for a little while.

I've decided that Pearl, the last of the three chickens that Dottie hatched, is without doubt, a rooster.

Great. So I've got ten chickens, three of which are male and will never lay an egg and one so old that she may never lay again in her life and three hens who I KNOW are laying but whose eggs I cannot find. Well, I need to think of it like this- every one of the chickens does a good job at keeping the kitchen garden area clean of weeds and they all eat bugs in the yard and they all fertilize whichever space they are scratching in.
Plus, I love them. I know that it makes no sense but I never feel alone with my chickens and two cats. Even when the chickens are asleep in the hen house, I can somehow feel their presence, so completely benign and calming, ten hearts beating under soft feathers as they gather in the hay-lined nesting boxes to take their nightly rest. They are family of a sort. I tend to them and they comfort me and give us eggs to eat with yolks so yellow that all other eggs pale (quite literally) in comparison.

As to the cats- I have no idea where they are at the moment. Not in any of their accustomed napping places. I heard a spat a few hours ago out in the yard. I hope they didn't kill each other because I'd pay good money to have one of them sleep cuddled up next to me in bed tonight. Going to get down in the low forties which of course is polar weather for us and since I have neither husband nor baby to sleep with right now, a small furry beast would be welcome.

Can you believe that Thanksgiving is eight days away?
And I refuse to do the countdown for Christmas. Last year my love and I spent the holiday in Cozumel and I'd be lying if I said that I don't tear up every time I think of that.

And so it goes, and so it is. I've been pondering doing a post about the way sexual abuse affects the victim's sexuality but so far I've not been brave enough to do that.
I remember once when my mother made a rare admission that yes, I had indeed suffered at the hands of her husband, she said, "I guess this has affected your relationship with your husband."

I did not know whether to laugh or cry.

Ay-yi-yi.

Love...Ms. Moon

Babies, Food, Salad Dressing. The Usual

This is what I did today. I made Challah. 

And salad.

Guaranteed to raise a new mother's hematocrit. Under all that meat is a lot of spinach. 

I had so much fun. I love to cook and bake. I could never open a restaurant though. I mean- it took me all morning to make those two things. Any restaurant I ran would not only have an extremely limited menu, if I got more than five customers a day I wouldn't be able to feed them all.

When I got to town after I'd finished making the salad and bread, I went by the Computer Doctor place and showed the guy my phone. Then I told him about the little strip of gray and white at the top it gets sometimes.
He immediately quit messing with the phone and said, "Yep. Sounds like the motherboard. We could try replacing the screen but from what you're telling me, it wouldn't work."
"So," I said. "I need a new phone."
"Yep," he said.
Dang.
Of course here's the funny thing- the phone's working better now than it has in days.

Then I drove over to Jessie's. She was holding dear little Levon who was sleeping. I traded her dinner for her baby. I held him for a good, long while and it was perfectly lovely. August was napping again and I wish I could have seen him too. I miss that jolly little man. Here's some more pictures that Jessie had taken.

I could just die with the sweetness. 

Here's one from yesterday when Magnolia met her newest cousin.

So while I was there today, holding a sleeping baby boy, Jessie and Vergil and I just sat and talked and talked. Vergil asked if I'd like to go paddling with him and August soon, meaning I'd sit in front with August and hold him and feed him snacks and love on him as Vergil paddled us down a river in a kayak. 

Sounds like heaven to me. 

I'm so glad he asked me!

The company Vergil works for gives him a few weeks of paternity leave and he is taking advantage of it, doing things with August and cooking meals and hanging out with Levon and Jessie. And building a fence. Things like that. 

Jessie reports that Levon is continuing to be very mild mannered, mostly just nursing and eating and hanging out. The perfect baby, it would seem. He is the most awake during the same hours he did the most dancing in Jessie's belly which is from about 7-10 at night and then he nurses and goes to sleep. Of course she has to wake up with him to change his diaper and get him on the breast, but because they're sleeping together, she can fall back asleep with him nursing and then he falls asleep too. Vergil said that every time he wakes up, Levon is either nursing or being cuddled by his mama. This brings back so many sweet memories for me. I always thought that sleeping with my babies was just about the best thing in the world. And I still think that.

Until they got big enough to kick me out of my own bed at which point they got to sleep in a crib. 

I finally gave Levon back to his mother as she was talking about a nap of her own and I felt bad that I'd stayed so long. I came home and thinned the lettuces. 

Thinning is the hardest task in the garden for me. Not physically. Physically it's probably the easiest. But I just can't stand to pull up a perfectly good plant which is also a baby of sorts. It feels like green-murder but it helps to think of what I am pulling as micro-greens rather than baby plants. And my Lord, they are so delicious. Best salads of the year. I like to just dress them with a drizzle of olive oil, a splash of balsamic vinegar, a little salt and pepper, and maybe a crushed clove of garlic and then mix it all up in the big wooden bowl with my very own clean hands.  

My sweetheart and I love these salads. I think of what constituted a salad when I was a child, which was iceberg lettuce, a sliced dry, pink tomato, drenched with French dressing or, if my mother was being extremely fancy, some of that Good Seasons Italian dressing you made with a packet of the seasoning, some vinegar, oil, and water. You shook all of that up in a cruet that Good Seasons sold with lines on it indicating how much of the vinegar, water, and oil you should use. It wasn't bad.

Okay. One more thing- I forgot to tell you what Owen said yesterday when he saw my dump cherubs which was: 

"Where did you get THOSE ugly things?"

I laughed. The boy has more discerning taste than his grandmother. I admit it. 

I love that boy. And his brother and his sister and his cousins. I have no doubt that they are every one smarter than I am and that thought thrills me to pieces. 

Love...Ms. Moon

To Clear This Up

Levon is pronounced like "Leon" but with a V.

So...LEE-von.

Thank you for your attention in this matter.

Love...Ms. Moon

Lagniappe

Owen's finger being bitten by an extraordinarily aggressive and completely freaked out little anole. The poor thing had just been attacked by a cat and Owen was trying to remove it from the cat's attention. Eventually, his mother freed Owen's finger from the death grip and the little guy skittered away into the leaves.

Then Owen picked up a Daddy Long Legs spider.

So much nature.

We love it.