But as soon as I woke up, I remembered that today is Jessie's birthday, for real and for true, and Facebook gave me the memory of the post I wrote for her birthday three years ago and it was lovely. The link is here.
In that post I of course quoted what my friend Lynn always used to say which was, "First of May, first of May, outdoor fucking begins today."
Which is probably what I quote every May 1, and some things do bear repeating.
So, if you'd like, go read what I wrote about my baby, Jessie, three years ago and here's a sweet picture of the most amazing thing which has happened since then in her life
and here she is this morning with those two precious people
eating birthday biscuits in the shape of hearts that her husband made her and in six months she'll be bringing another precious one into our family and time swirls and whirls around me like this crazy wind and I am remembering the day she was born and walking, walking to make my labor stronger, walking with her daddy between rainstorms, the way that after she was born, a rainbow came to double-bless us all, and magnolia blossoms sat in vases around the room, plucked during those walks, their creamy white petals blessing us too with their scent, and how it was when she was in labor with August, as strong and delicate and beautiful as a magnolia blossom herself and it's all a dream.
I may get to babysit for that big boy today so that Jessie and Vergil can go get some lunch, see a movie, and I am looking forward to that, having the baby of my baby to play with here in Lloyd and my heart is just filled with love and I never once dreamed that my life could be like this, that I could be this lucky, that my eternal childhood hunger for family love could be fulfilled, that a dream I didn't even know I had could somehow, miraculously, come true.