Okay. So I went down to the trash and recycle depot today and I noticed about a dozen big net bags of Vidalia onions sitting on the side of the trash container where, as I have mentioned, we set things we don't want but that someone may be able to use. I have seen books there and baby seats and clothes and all sorts of things but I'd never seen Vidalia onions.
Y'all know what they are, right?
Big, sweet onions grown in Vidalia, Georgia and they go for a pretty penny in the store and these bags were the size you'd get at Costco.
The man who works at the trash depot was sitting in his little shed where he watches TV and has an AC and he yelled out to me, "Hey young lady! Take some Vidalia onions!"
"What's the deal with those?" I asked him.
"Get one free, get another free! I just ate one. They're great."
"Who brought 'em?" I asked.
"A lady I know. Some tomatoes were stored on top of them and some of them rotted and the juice dripped on them but they're fine. Seriously. I just ate one."
And somehow, I just couldn't bring myself to take a bag. And I sort of felt like a snob about it or something but thinking about it later I thought, "Okay, a man who works at the trash depot which stinks to high goddam heaven all the time ate an onion and thought it was great. Is that really a valid recommendation?"
And they probably were fine and the guy who works there is fine and I'm not a snob but seriously...
Thanks, though, for the offer!
And just an FYI: If you see a metal trash can at the trash depot and it looks almost brand new and you think to yourself, "Jeez, I could use one of those," you might not want to get out of your car and open the lid.
Christ. I have no idea what that was in the bottom of that can but I wish I'd never opened that lid.