Monday, June 22, 2009

Things I Do Not Know

So you know, some days I just feel like I need to enlighten the world about something. You know I do. It might be love or it might be politics or it might be religion or it might be gay rights or it might be chickens. Whatever.

And then some days, I just feel like I don't have the right to tell anyone anything because honestly, I don't know shit. Which is why I find it hysterical that I've been nominated for that award in the category of Blog You've Learned The Most From.
If there's one phrase I have used over and over here on this blog, it is I don't know shit.
So if I am teaching anyone anything, I think it would be about the vast black hole of stuff I don't know which seems if anything, a rather futile exercise for us all and today is one of those days.
For instance- see these?


Those are my blue potatoes. The ENTIRE crop. We are not impressed, are we? I think I got more ant bites than I did potatoes. Oh well. Live and learn. Perhaps blue potatoes are not meant to be grown in North Florida sandy soil or perhaps they are but not the way I tried to do it.
I don't know.
See what I mean?
But oh- they do remind me of an old, favorite joke. It goes like this:
Two peasant women are in a field, harvesting carrots. One of them pulls up a monster of a carrot and holds it up to show to the other woman.
"Dis reminds me (they are speaking in fake Russian accents, okay?) of my husband, God rest his soul."
"He vas dat big?" asks the other woman, impressed.
"No," says the first lady. "He vas dat dirty."

Did I make you laugh? I hope so.

Okay. On to the next thing I don't know. Check out this picture:


That is a picture of the fish which the fisherpeople caught this weekend. Nothing was won in terms of the tournament but I won because some of this fish will be in my freezer. But here's what I don't know- what kind of fish they are. That long skinny one in the middle is a King Mackerel. Some of them are red grouper, some are red snappers and some are something else. Gag grouper? GAG? Yes. I think so.
I do know who the fellas in the picture are. They are Jason, my son-in-law, Mr. Moon, and our neighbor Paul who went fishing too. I also know why they are smiling. It's because when I took the picture, I said what Kathleen always says when she takes a picture. She says, "Say tiny penis!" This always works. Even the people around you (if you are in a public place) will smile.
So see- you HAVE learned something today.

Next picture:


This is some of what I also picked from the garden yesterday. Everything you see is a tomato except for the white thing. What is it? I think it might be some sort of dwarf butternut squash. I suppose I'll have to cut it in order to find out.
Here's another thing I'm not sure of- what do I do with these tomatoes? Not enough to can but too many just to eat. I believe I may make bruschetta though, which is butt-easy and tasty? Oh my. I'll just whirl them in the food processor with some garlic, basil, salt and olive oil and top some crusty french bread slices. Sound good?
Sounds like something I could live on here in this heat. Eating sort of loses its appeal when it's this hot. You still get hungry but there's nothing on earth that sounds very good although right now, I think I could eat some bruschetta for sure.

And here's yet another thing I wonder about- why don't I get up every day at an early hour and get my ass out to walk before it gets hot? I did that today and I got some laundry done and even read part of the paper and took the trash and then went to yoga and it's not even noon yet and I feel GOOD, babies. Really, really good. I have to run to town to do some errands and I am DEFINITELY GOING TO THE NEW LEAF MARKET so I can see me some Billy because as he and I say to each other- I miss his guts. Mostly.
Sometimes he tells me he loves my guts.
I love his guts too.
And I need to pick up a few of those overpriced supplements which make me feel like I am being a healthy person (and I swear- the fish oil does seem to help with memory- I am not making this up although I could be and not even know it) anyway so oh boy, oh boy! I'm gonna go see Billy and bother him at work.

Another thing I am not sure of:


Is this bird a rooster? He is about twice as big as the other chick-chicks and he is so strong I was having a hard time controlling him while his picture was being taken. I am wondering if the reason these chickabidees smell so different than my other batch of chicks (and when I say different I mean- ick) is because some of the birds are males.
Okay, okay, that could be just a really wrong theory but do any of you know anything about this? They smell completely different than my sweet hens did.
I could look up the little birds' anal tubes or whatever they call those things down there in the chicken nether regions but I'm sorry. I can't do that.
I'll just wait and see.

And another question for today- of all the pictures I took last night with my phone (because of course I forgot the camera) of Jessie playing music and posing with her music friends, why is this the only one that came out?


The other beautiful girl in the picture is an old friend of Jessie's who has now left the bluegrass world to sing jazz and I just have to tell you that one of the very best weekends of my life was spent with those two girls and another friend of theirs (who also played last night). I took them over to St. Augustine to the Gamble Rogers festival and they kept me laughing and smiling the entire weekend with their music, their sweet young-girl wisdom and their joy.
Sigh.
I love those girls.
Jessie played last night with two other gals and together they were the Cicada Ladies and they were terrific. They started playing bluegrass music together when they were in high school and they still love to get together to play and they sound terrific.
It was so much fun to see them. Hank and May and Glen and I were there and we got to hear the high school's newest bluegrass band (and how awesome is it that instead of a marching band this school has a bluegrass band?) and what a joy that was. A darling girl the size of an elf played stand-up bass wearing a vintage dress and she could sing- oh, she could sing! Boys with long hair, girls with short hair, girls with wild hair, the teachers smiling as big as the kids, playing onstage with 'em.
Ah. It was a joy.
I do know that for sure.

And here's the last thing I do not know- why am I so damn lucky? Hell, I'm so lucky Ms. Lis is coming back to visit tonight. Maybe we'll smooch again! And Kathleen's coming over too! We'll have a ladies' porch visit!

No one knows the answer to why I'm this lucky. No one.
But if you know anything about that chicken smell, please let me know.

Love....Ms. Moon

20 comments:

  1. You said a true thing there about heat and eating. I'm hungry, but there is not a dang thing that sounds good to me except ice and juice. I had a cold tuna sandwich for dinner last night because it was the only thing I could stand.

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  2. Bruchetta = heaven. I know that.

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  3. Charming! That's the word I've been searching for! You are delightfully charming, and I just adore you.

    I don't know the first thing about chicken boy smells, but my experience with all other boy animals tells me that boy chickens just may out-smell hens just as boys in general are the stinkier gender.

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  4. You taking those photos last night was so funny. Good thing it didn't matter that I was making all those mistakes, because trying to pose off to the side while trying to play a song is freaking ridiculously difficult. Thanks again for coming and supporting. I have the very best of families ever!

    And also, I would just like to tell everyone that the biggest snapper in the middle of that picture is one of the ones that I caught. I think the men were just trying to be nice to me.

    Oh, have lots of fun with Lis tonight!

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  5. The white thing sitting among the tomatoes looks just like the white eggplant I bought over at Tupelo's last week. Unfortunately, it was too hot and I was too tired after the joys of the Watermelon Festival to cook it this weekend. Jan

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  6. That is really cool, that the school has a bluegrass band.

    I wasn't as smart as you today, I didn't take my walk/run until noon, and dang if it didn't finally get hot up here.

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  7. DTG- Smoothies.

    Kori- True that.

    Ms. Windy- I was basing this smelly theory on my own personal knowledge of such.

    Honey- I'm SORRY! I promise I'll never do that again. Really.
    See you shortly...

    Jan- Nope. Didn't come off an eggplant plant. More of a squashy vine. But it does look like that.
    Have you rested up yet?

    Ginger- It is the coolest school ever. Enjoy your heat.

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  8. Well, there you go! Shows what I don't know (at least it fits in with today's theme). Thank heavens for people who do. Pretty much recovered from the weekend - IT'S JUST THE HEAT! As cold as this old Opera House is in the winter it's like an oven in here now. So good to see you Friday. Love ya' Jan

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  9. Those tomatoes just have to taste so good!

    There was so much content in this post about things you don't know. Very enjoyable to read, thank you. :)

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  10. What the heck is a blue potato? I feel stupid on this matter :)

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  11. Lovely veggie porn, Madame Moon. Looks like you are growing some Cherokee purples? They retain their green shoulders when ripe.

    Also, I believe that you are correct about the white thing. Let us know.

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  12. I'm Irish and I demand to know what the hell a blue potato is...

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  13. I have a mystery squash just like that too! I put it in some recently and it was very good. However, I can't remember what it was I made ... so clearly I need to go get me some fish oil.

    Bruschetta is so yummy! Here's another possibility with all those tomatoes - is relish them with cucumbers and eat on hummus on bread. It's the main thing I ate through the heat of last year's New Orleans summer. http://bloggingwithoutfilters.blogspot.com/2008/06/hummus-sandwish-with-cucumbertomato.html

    My word verification is "patio" which is so perfect before a porch evening with ladies.

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  14. That one chick looks so different, I would guess it's a rooster. But I know nothing of chickens. I'm curious to find out. Those are some fine fish. I love a ladies porch day, enjoy! Oh, and I've never had blue potatoes--never even heard of them. I'm curious about those now too. See, I learn several things from this blog.

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  15. You could make gazpacho with the tomatoes. It's eaten cold and is delicious.
    I use lots of cucumbers, tomatoes, green or red sweet peppers, onions, garlic, parsley and lots of basil, lemon juice, a dash of oil which helps to preserve it, salt & pepper. If you add some cumin it gets a nice kick. You can thin with water or use some tomato or V8 juice and blend in a blender.

    I like it not too chunky and not totally pureed but with texture.

    Great to dip your bread into.

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  16. Ditto on the DTG comment. The funny thing is, with all this not eating or in my case, only eating rabbit food, and sweating my ars off, why the HELL am I still not loosing weight! It's just not fair.

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  17. You're so lucky that you have someone to catch fish for you!

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  18. Never had boy chickens, so I'm not sure about the smell.
    Honeyluna is bee-you-tee-full!!
    Oh, and from your blog, I have learned that
    LIFE IS GOOD
    thanks ms. moon

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  19. Jan- All I can say is that people who lived in the era of Mr. Perkins were hardy, tough people. Or else they were stoked on opium all the time.

    Nicol- Those tomatoes are good.

    Lady Lemon- If you say those are Cherokee Purples, I will believe you. I lost the tag thing. They sure are good.

    SJ and XBox- They are actually purple if you cut them open. They're wonderful and "gourmet" and I have about enough to make up one big bowl of lavender mashed potatoes.

    Nola- Yes. When the cukes come in, I will be making that.

    Shoshana- AND THAT! I love gazpacho.

    Lora- Yep. I'm betting he's a he.

    Petit Fleur- I feel your pain.

    Ms. Hope- And for so many other things, too.

    Aunt Becky- I know dear, and you are part of that.

    Michelle- I'll let you know if the roosters-smell-different-than-hens theory pans out.

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